I burst from the jungle that is the internet, a machine gun loaded with punctuation at my side and a flame-proof shield on my chest. Powered by cocaine and the blood of badgers I leap forth, tearing apart illogical arguments and feasting on my enemies' hearts. I live to hear the lamentations of their women as I destroy their men's petty arguments. Then I return to the jungle, to sleep and dream about what you call 'reality'.
...Yeah, I think I've been up too late and have taken too many drug cocktails...