Apologies to Kelis.
Professor James said:
I'm a straight man and I never really been turned on by 2 girls banging each other. Can someone explain the appeal? I guess it's because a lesbian will never be attracted to me or even a fantasy is why I'm not turned on.
Possible reasons:
1) No strange penis to think about and/or view.
-Quite a few straight men don't like seeing another man's penis, and I'm betting that there's also a great deal of disguised envy at porn penii - 7 inch, 8 inch, 9 inch, longer and wider penii than the average guy, it sometimes takes a bit of work to imagine that the 12in Dong From Hell is actually My Dong in Her Mouth because... my god that's a huge Dong. I mean, it's a huge dong. It's just... it's like Watchmen all over again, man. There's just giant Dongs everywhere, man.
2) A sense of strange empathy; straight men love the female body, so seeing someone else appreciate it in the way straight men do creates a sort of bond.
-Perhaps only in the way that someone will feel a bond with me when I post "I love Ashleigh Brilliant!" and they think "OMG! Someone else knows about that guy!". It's not a deep and serious connection but it's a positive starting place. And yes, whoever is going "OMG! Someone else knows about that guy!", we've been through a lot together, and most of it was your fault.
3) More women to enjoy at once. Up to a point.
-It's like a buffet of women. One woman is like a steak - awesome. But after a while even steak gets boring. Two women is like having steak AND portabello mushrooms - both great, having a bit of one then going back to have a bit of the other makes both better. Three women is starting to get a bit cramped because I'm only one man, ladies, and my partner and I need to have SOME time to rest in between our 45 second spurts of furious squelching noises. And with three of you, one will be bored while we're recovering. That's why two is great, but three is one too many; while we're recovering you two can entertain yourselves, maybe give each other orgasms (you really need to teach me how to do that. I mean, I keep trying but you say "It takes more than a minute to bring me off." which is just... it's like trying to imagine what it's like to eat ice cream in space, man. Sure, it's possible, and lots of guys have done it. But they all had like a lifetime of training, special equipment, a whole organization dedicated to getting them into space to eat ice cream, and I'm just a guy working as a labourer, so how can you expect ME to last long enough to bring you off? I mean... wait, what was the question again?
4) An ultimate male fantasy: Conversion Via Penis.
-My Dong is so powerful that it turns Lesbians into (My) Penis Worshiping Women. Girls may like other girls as much as I do, but when My Dong enters the room, THAT'S what the girls want, yo. My Dong brings all the Lesbians out of the bush and they're like "It's better than boob!" Damn right it's better than boob. I can teach you, and I won't even charge!
5) Fantasies are often about things we can't have.
-Most guys are fantastically lucky to get one woman to like them enough to have sex with them. We also know that the chance of there being two women who like us enough to have sex with us at the same time is damn near impossible, unless we're paying a rather large sum of money. So we fantasize about the things we can't have. Lesbians. Anal sex. Facials. Being deep throated. Her swallowing. Public. Bondage. Kinky stuff - like European stuff. Whole Chicken stuff - like Japanese stuff. Living Turducken Stuff - German stuff. (Little known fact: Up until OSX, if you typed "German" into a porn search engine on a Macintosh the computer would say "That is not available on this Safari." and would bring up a page of clinical psychologists in your area.)
