Why are you hetero or homosexual?...

[Dexiro]

Why the palming of the face?

Sexuality isn't a choice for anyone is all I'm saying People can choose who they sleep with but not who they're sexually attracted too.

For clarification a straight guy can sleep with another guy and he'll still be straight, he just probably won't enjoy it very much

 

[dorkette1990]

I personally agree with you - I'm pansexual, so the contents of someone's pants matters very little when compared to an emotional connection. However, some people just aren't physically attracted to the opposite sex. In this case, although they may be strongly attached, there is no sexual aspect, which means it's not a romantic relationship. At least, assuming you're not asexual (but that's a whole different ballgame). Most people need that aspect of sex in order to have a functional romantic relationship.

 

[tobyornottoby]

Why do you need sleep? There are simply many aspects of our biological nature that we can't ignore and that dictate our lives.

 

[TheSolemnHypnotic]

When it comes to the Emotional Trouble Club, I consider myself an official member and founder. I got shut down at my own birthday when I was 10 and the scene has been chasing me ever since. I have had nightmares about this and I have never been in a relationship.

When it comes to the subject of gender, I am open-minded when it comes to others but not to me. I wouldn't have trouble with someone I know being homosexual but having my consort being a female (I sound like a fucking knight) is an image I had since I was 5. I was in love with the girl that shut me down for more than a decade. Your orientation is set in the early years of your life. What happens after that are just blocks that come on top of an already set base.

However, another way of knowing what orientation is what your reaction is when someone calls you a homo. I have been called one about 3 times by strangers. But all of that faded away when I kissed a girl for the first time. And let me tell you, bud, at that moment, I felt like the most masculine guy in the galaxy. And it felt good. So there you go.

I'm really not trying to belittle everything you just said,(thank you for sharing) but that last part was awfully f***in cute. XD

[small]I haven't had that experience lol[/small]

 

[TheSolemnHypnotic]

Why the palming of the face?

Sexuality isn't a choice for anyone is all I'm saying People can choose who they sleep with but not who they're sexually attracted too.

For clarification a straight guy can sleep with another guy and he'll still be straight, he just probably won't enjoy it very much

Oh, okay, I get it.

 

[Sandernista]

Throwing the gauntlets down and knowing I'm gonna get flamed, but sexuality is a choice. It doesn't mean being gay is bad or that being straight is better or worse. It just means that where you put your private parts is a decision, therefore a choice. All those people who say they've been converted to heterosexuality through prayer and willpower. They have. All those people that say they've always wanted to be gay and finally come out leaving previous heterosexual relationships behind. They are. Stop trying to act as though you know something about what drives a person's personal decisions. You don't.

There is no gay gene. There is no straight gene. Why am I heterosexual? Well, technically since I've never engaged in any sexual activity with an actual person, I'm not. I'm just guessing at what I might like. Ever see a great looking dish on the menu and then come to the realization that you hate tacos (pun intended)? I'm not ruling that out. If I found a guy with a great job who was really into me and a million other factors came into play where we could have and would want to have a relationship, then yes, I'd probably want to fuck that guy. Same with women. This does not make me bisexual, since I stress, I've never had sex and I assume I would prefer to have it with a woman.

I can't debate anyone's feeling on their own sexuality, but if you say you are 100% unshakably heterosexual, then it sounds a little homophobic. And the converse sounds a little heterophobic. Because of all the extracurricular bullshit our society assigns to sexuality, we put up these walls and barriers to entry like it somehow matters and factors into our personalities.

I think you are confusing sexuality with who you actually sleep with. Just because you sleep with women doesn't automatically make you hetero. I am sexually attracted to women, but I could probably sleep with a man. Does that make me gay? No.

 

[Forgetitnow344]

I can really understand what the OP was trying to say. I myself am pretty open to any sex, so long as the attraction is there. I don't care so much about gender, I suppose. However, I have had two very close friends come out as lesbians after proclaiming love for me, so yeah, I have experienced intimately what it is like to be incapable of altering how you feel about a gender.

For some of us though, sexuality DOES feel like a choice. Our ability to just love someone and find pleasure in their features, whatever they may be, feels just as natural as your inability to love only someone with a penis or a vagina. It's just the way WE were programmed and it's hard to understand each other sometimes. That's all the OP is trying to get across.

OP: In short, it's just the way they are. Once you experience more about sex and yourself, you'll probably figure out for yourself what it is like to really desire someone based on their gender. If not, you're actually bi or pan or ambi or whatever the fuck kids are calling it these days. Your BEST option is to not think about it and just follow whatever feels natural. That way, things will slide into place the way they were meant to be and everything will make sense.

 

[Thundero13]

I don't think of it that way, i'm a gay male but I have no problem entering a romantic relationship with a female, or even having sex with one as long as it didn't involve a certain... 'part'

 

[Jack O'Shea]

i want to know what to difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship (apart from sex obviously)???

 

[Shock and Awe]

Homosexual and Heterosexual has nothing to do with how much you like the person, its who you want to fuck. Its not that hard to grasp. I can like my best friend a million times more than my girlfriend and I will still want to have sex with her more than him. Thats just how people work. Thats where the "Bros before hoes" rule comes into effect. If you like the girl as much or more than most of your Bros she becomes one and exempts the rule.

 

[TheSolemnHypnotic]

I personally agree with you - I'm pansexual, so the contents of someone's pants matters very little when compared to an emotional connection. However, some people just aren't physically attracted to the opposite sex. In this case, although they may be strongly attached, there is no sexual aspect, which means it's not a romantic relationship. At least, assuming you're not asexual (but that's a whole different ballgame). Most people need that aspect of sex in order to have a functional romantic relationship.

Thank you for your explaination. It makes sense. And I don't think I'm asexual. XD

 

[TheSolemnHypnotic]

I can really understand what the OP was trying to say. I myself am pretty open to any sex, so long as the attraction is there. I don't care so much about gender, I suppose. However, I have had two very close friends come out as lesbians after proclaiming love for me, so yeah, I have experienced intimately what it is like to be incapable of altering how you feel about a gender.

For some of us though, sexuality DOES feel like a choice. Our ability to just love someone and find pleasure in their features, whatever they may be, feels just as natural as your inability to love only someone with a penis or a vagina. It's just the way WE were programmed and it's hard to understand each other sometimes. That's all the OP is trying to get across.

OP: In short, it's just the way they are. Once you experience more about sex and yourself, you'll probably figure out for yourself what it is like to really desire someone based on their gender. If not, you're actually bi or pan or ambi or whatever the fuck kids are calling it these days. Your BEST option is to not think about it and just follow whatever feels natural. That way, things will slide into place the way they were meant to be and everything will make sense.

Thank you for your frankness. I do have a habit of worrying about things that shouldn't be relevant. At least, not yet.

 

[katsabas]

I'm really not trying to belittle everything you just said,(thank you for sharing) but that last part was awfully f***in cute. XD

[small]I haven't had that experience lol[/small]

Nah, you ain't belittling me. You'll get yours eventually and you'll get what I mean. Also, yeah, I come off as cute when trying to be serious. Pretty sure I don't mean to do that.

 

[Baresark]

Please read. snip

That is a good question and one that I have put a lot of thought into actually. And it would also depend on the backround of the individual, but here is my take on this.

Basically, most life on this planet is discriminatory in nature. I don't mean whether you like/hate people of the same race, sex, gender, etc. I mean that your whole physiology is made to discriminate. Your body when it breaks down nutrients, for example, discriminates between that which is needed, and that which is not needed. The needed things move onto other parts of your body and not needed things go to waste management, which interestingly rechecks to make sure there isn't anything needed in there.

Accordingly, peoples minds work the same way. You discriminate based on a set of standards that you have ultimately chosen. You cannot pick who makes you happy at the time, which is what people's minds try to lead them to. For instance, what will make you happier, Brussel Sprouts or Pizza? In the long run, BS would make you happier, but in the short run, Pizza would probably be the one you chose because that is what would make you noticeably happier at the time.

In the question you have posed, you are saying that you meet someone who makes you happier. There is nothing wrong with that, you are simply discriminating like you were designed to do. In the wild, a wolf would decide that it's not worth attacking a human. But, if you take away that wolfs food source, and then it hasn't eaten in weeks, it may decide that attacking that one solitary human is now worth the risk. I do believe your choice at this point, if you are in fact not sexually active, may change in the future. Sex cannot be the cornerstone of a relationship, but to say that it is not important is outright false. Sexual attraction is a very big component of a relationship. You won't be able to be in a relationship, ultimately, if you are not attracted to the person.

Arguably. I've studied psychology and I think that the nurture part of the whole Nature vs Nurture (DNA vs Upbringing) is just as influential. What really isn't our choice is that we're made to reproduce with the other sex and have children - doesn't mean everyone wants to do that. Again, Nature vs Nurture.

You are most likely quite correct. It has been established in a field of Biology called Epigenetics (so new, my browser doesn't know the word), that nurture in fact does play a majority portion roll on who we are and what we are capable of. When people say something is genetic, they parrot a concept from the 1950's called the "Central Dogma". Basically, a biologist of note (who's name escapes me) at one point said something to the effect that our DNA may decide a great many things about us such as eye color, height, hair color, etc. While these things are indisputable true, that all has literally nothing to do with who we are, or our likes and our dislikes, or the choices we make. Like all dogmatic things, it's considered to be true based on faith alone and no one has ever been able to successfully prove it. There was even a Sociologist in the 1960's who theorized that Germans have a genetic trait that made them able to perpetrate the travesties the Nazi's did to groups they did them too. In his research he simply found that you can make anyone do despicable things with the right stimuli. So remember, when someone chalks something up to our DNA, they may just be showing how ignorant they are about a subject. That poster you responded to just threw out the central dogma and I'm sure is quite fine to go on about his day thinking he has no control over his own destiny.

As a final note, the primary thing a parent most often passes onto a child is lifestyle, which is in no way genetically based. My mother died of breast cancer, and I'm supposed to live in mortal fear of cancer now, but the truth is I lead a much healthier lifestyle than she ever did. I may get cancer, I may die in a car accident, I may die in my bed next to my wife, there is no certainties, least of all that I am genetically prone to any of these things.

 

[Forgetitnow344]

i want to know what to difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship (apart from sex obviously)???

Sex.

No really, sex. You can be best friends with a person, but when you truly make love to someone, there is a special bond that is formed. I know a lot of the people in this thread are virgins (which makes their gratuitous contribution frankly retarded) and virgins can have the distorted perception that sex is ONLY about slippery parts rubbing against each other. Sex is a very complicated act that means a lot of different things to different people. I personally lose all sex drive when I'm not in love or at least feeling a strong amorous inclination towards someone. The second someone hits that spark in me emotionally though, I get absolutely RAVENOUS. It's just a result of the way I treat sex. It's the ultimate expression of affection and appreciation towards someone about whom I care. I've even had friends I've had no real desire for, but I've cared about them so much I'd actually desire to do things for them of that nature. That particular part isn't normal, but it's an illustration of how complicated the act of making love actually is. There is no standardization of it. It is not simply a perverted act of getting off using another's interlocking parts.

So yes, in a romantic relationship, that intimate, complicated procedure is extremely important in forming a unique bond between two people.

 

[Call4Duty]

[...] If you were in a romantic relationship with someone but met someone else of the same/opposite gender who made you feel 100,000,000 times better/more loved/more cared for, you wouldn't consider them an option based on what's in their pants?

Of course I wouldn't. There's a name for the guys in my life that make me feel loved/cared for, they're called my best friends. (awwww, feel good moment!)
But I don't want to be with any of them romantically, because the idea of being with a guy is just innately 'icky' to me, for lack of a better word.

[...] Am I completely over looking/ undermining the physical/sexual attraction aspect of relationships?

Yes. Physical connections are just as important in a relationship as emotional ones. To better understand this, would you date someone of your preferred gender who was hideous, no matter how great of a person she was? Some of us would like to think that their answer is "yes," but that's just not accurate.

Oversimplifying a little, but I think that there are some people that you will be:
*Emotionally attracted to, but not physically. These people are your friends.
*Physically attracted to, but not emotionally. These are your typical kid crushes, or maybe even casual sexual partners.
*Both physically and emotionally attracted to. These are your love interests.

tl;dr: A romantic relationship doesn't work without emotional AND physical connections, and people's physical predilections are almost always wired across gender lines.

 

[Baneat]

Because that is how you are born, and genetically and socially conditioned. I cannot feel a romantic or sexual attraction to another guy, it doesn't work for me. For me a romantic relationship requires both a physical and emotional attraction, I can get both from a girl, but I only half of the one for a guy.

I do not articulate myself very well across these threads. What you said does make sense. What I should have said (because it is more accurate) is that I relate to bisexuality better.

If you can feel a sexual, physical attraction for both genders, then you most likely are bisexual, hence you can relate to it better, a homosexual or heterosexual person will also relate to their stance more easily, it is human nature.

EDIT: I felt my diagram needs to be visible a little sooner, so I am also putting it on this page, I did not think to just edit this post, my bad.

Is there any point to the colours on that graph?

Yes. Yes there is. The boldness of the colour indicates level of attraction. The actual colour indicates type of attraction. I try, I really do, any suggestions for improvement would be appreciated.
I know I should have bolder lines across the center though going vertically and horizontally, to divide it into 4 sections.

I think I would be light to medium blue, OP it seems would be light purple from comments, but when life experience is added, slightly more on the blue side I would guess.

To make a simple standard like that as to the block one would be in is another reason why I have the colours

All right but it appears from my perception that bisexually inclined need more sexual intensity to be in a strong colour, as in it's more white as you go down more quickly for the purple.

 

[mushy262626]

Edit: No, I've never been in a romantic relationship. [I know nothing about sex].

if you have never been in a romantic relationship, i suggest 2 things

1. you should not be talking about them like you have any at all real experience or understanding of them.

2. please for the love of god, go outside or something, get off the computer and meet people, unless you are under the age of, i dont know, 12, you should have had at least one girl or boyfriend at one time or another in your life.