Why are you hetero or homosexual?...
- Thread starter TheSolemnHypnotic
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Dexiro think you've intersected well what I wanted to add to this.Dexiro said:Sexuality isn't a choice for anyone is all I'm sayingPeople can choose who they sleep with but not who they're sexually attracted too.
For clarification a straight guy can sleep with another guy and he'll still be straight, he just probably won't enjoy it very much
Sexuality is confusing and remains a divisive controversy because it's regarded as different things by different groups. To those who study the science of sex (sexual psychologists, sexual biologists, sexual sociologists, et. al.), they tend to use the term sexual orientation, which refers to base desire. We are attracted to specific attributes including specific secondary sexual characteristics which will draw us specifically towards males or females. For most of us, the high majority of those who fit within our attraction threshold will be of one sex or the other.[footnote]This statement might be controversial to some, since there remain enough social stigmas about even the potential of homosexual attraction that it is difficult for many to be brutally honest to themselves. (And it is due to this that I'm giving the benefit of the doubt, suggesting that more of us are at the poles of the spectrum than somewhere in the expansive center.) But no one can really claim to have no attraction whatsoever to all of the three billion people of the Earth whose sex mismatches orientation. This is why, in my own case, I merely claim I just haven't met the right guy.[/footnote]. Note while sexual orientation seems to be defined at puberty (if not at birth), it can change due to time, circumstances (hence the high rates of homosexual behavior in prisons and at sea) or with enough of an emotional connection. So orientation is not as static as some claim it to be.
Contrast the above definition of sexuality to the one used by religious conservatives, in which it refers strictly to behavior. Therefore, a man is homosexual only if he's actively sexual (having regular encounters) with another man. A bisexual wife (to a man), if she is faithful, is not bisexual until she actually has sex with another woman. [footnote]And it is on this basis that they can claim a success rate with shunning others over singular incidents [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reparative_therapy] and then distrusting acts or expressions of contrition.
Interesting, since the mechanisms that shape our ideal sexual partner are differentiated from those which disinterest us in incestual pairings [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westermarck_effect#Westermarck_effect]. This is noteworthy since the latter effect does not work beyond those who were childhood cohabitants (so a long-lost sibling who returns as an adult could register as an acceptable, even ideal parter; yet not so much had the same exact person been around since infancy.) Incest as a cultural taboo is taught; we don't have a natural inhibition against partnering with an alleged relative.Danzaivar said:
Certainly, though, the lack of attraction to other men might be experienced similarly as a lack of attraction to one's opposite sex siblings, but for different reasons entirely.
I'm curious what you've heard. Usually around here (San Francisco; I live just north of the war were declared [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castro_District].[/footnote] The lesbian community is infamous for this, where bisexual is an insult you use to pick a fight. No one in the Lez community is bi, despite the fact that an awful lot of them like to tap the boy once in a while (sometimes more often than they tap the girl) and still insist they're lesbian.[/footnote] as traitors to the cause, and generally as promiscuous (having at least two partners, being unable to make up their minds).TheSolemnHypnotic said:
Outside this town, outed bis are regarded by homophobic straits as outed gays who may infect[footnote]That is, communicate Teh Gay; ten converts and they get a toaster![/footnote] the other gender as well. Really, the reps that bis have are as unfounded as those that claim gay men are all rapists and child molesters, or that gamers are ticking time-bombs waiting for their moment to spree-shoot up a public venue.
Steel_viper said:
Let me ease both your minds, that the sex-positive community here in San Francisco is teeming with sexy, stable, socially functional bis. In your own community, you may have to find the local social munches to find them, rather than relying on your immediate social circles.Generic Gamer said:
Oddly enough San Francisco also teems with paste-eating crazies (of which yours truly might qualify), of varying degrees of management, but that's because we have the best network of psychiatric non-profits that treat people who are broke and/or homeless, so all the transients migrate here from the rest of the country.
238U.[footnote]In the event that Escapist requires me to view a commercial before getting a code, I will simply not post. Depending on the frequency, this may temper or cease my future participation in the Escapist community. Apologies in advance, if this policy prevents me from replying to you when it is proper to do so.[/footnote]
this is gay, and just to throw this out there for everyone......the brain is a highly complex organ. Even today we don't fully understand it. The theory that some people are born one way or another is just a theory. In psychology you will learn there is a reason for everything a human being does. Homosexuality or heterosexuality is not a gene nor a biological aspect of the brain, or at least so far there is no solid proof to it yet, that being said, it is all based on our past.
Well.... several things:
1.Women turn me on physically. I fantasise about women.
2. The person I fell in love with is a girl.
3. I find male homosexual sex to be weird, gross, and mentally scarring. Not something I would ever try.
4. I don't really have a choice.
1.Women turn me on physically. I fantasise about women.
2. The person I fell in love with is a girl.
3. I find male homosexual sex to be weird, gross, and mentally scarring. Not something I would ever try.
4. I don't really have a choice.
Personally speaking, I'm a lesbian, though I am currently in love with a cross-dresser. xD Which might come across... odd, I suppose. The way I look at it, though, I get all of the positive aspects of a guy in the body of a female. *shrug* I personally feel better, mentally/emotionally/physically with a female than with a male. I've tried dating guys on multiple occasions, but the fact of the matter is that when things start progressing to anything past friendship, I just get really defensive and dont want to be around them or anything. I'm not sure why, but somehow being with a girl just makes me feel... much more comfortable.
I was brought up in a Christian home and I am a practicing Christian, and I find the male body unattractive. Therefore, I am Hetero.
Basically, as you stated, they are seen as slutty. Then crazy, secretly homosexual, attention seeking, confused, indecisive, manipulative, serial killers. I'm not making this up.Uriel-238 said:
I guess I would have to say I'm heterosexual. I'd much rather be asexual though. So It is definitely not a choice.
Then WHY are you even asking? This is a stupid question, I hope in retrospect you can appreciate that.TheSolemnHypnotic said:
I personally believe attraction is a psychological development. Our experiences in our early years form who we are. I had a crush on a girl in kindergarten who had the features that I still find attractive today. (Pale skin, brown hair, dimples, a delicate neck) Of course in her adult counterparts. I hadn't thought about it for a lot of years but doing so made me realize that my tastes were set even then. So no matter what, it's not like people have any control over it.
I do know men who make me feel loved. But it's not the same kind of love I feel for a woman or look for from a woman. I consider them friends and brothers. That isn't a choice. That's just how I'm wired.
I believe you.TheSolemnHypnotic said:
Considering video-gamers are seen as spree-shooters waiting to happen...
that gays are seen by some as rapists and child molesters (and contagiously gay)...
that atheists are seen as unscrupulous power mongers...
heck, that crazies are seen as cackling axe murderer Joker wannabes...
Oh, and that neopagans and wiccans are seen as baby-eating satanists who can cast real spells (go figure)...
...it's no surprise at all.
As a species, we like to make up crap about people we don't understand. It's unfortunate and uncivilized.
238U.[footnote]In the event that Escapist requires me to view a commercial before getting a code, I will simply not post. Depending on the frequency, this may temper or cease my future participation in the Escapist community. Apologies in advance, if this policy prevents me from replying to you when it is proper to do so.[/footnote]
I just figured since most isn't all there could be something I haven't heard before. :/Ghengis John said:
Uggh, why do people say that sexuality is not a choice? I agree that people are naturally born with an attraction to certain things but if someone is unhappy with that attraction for whatever reason they DO have the power to change that. Everyone does. I'm straight but if I wanted to I could become gay and make myself enjoy it. It would take a while but eventually I could make myself completely gay and happy with it if I wanted to.
Your brain controls pretty much every aspect of your body. You are your brain. You have the ability to control every aspect of your body.
The only problem is how much you are WILLING to make that change happen. As long as your brain is functioning normally the only limit to what you can do with your body is if you you try to do defies the laws of reality.
It may sound like BS, but willpower literally is the strongest thing in the universe.
You can never say "It's impossible for me to change my sexuality" you can only say "It is very hard and I am not willing to put in that much effort to change something that I am already happy with." You are born with the power to change your sexuality and be happy with it, it's just that you are (most likely) already happy with your sexuality so why change it?
People have slowed their hearts down to the point of almost stopping using pure willpower.
You can't deny that all of this is at least theoretically possible.
Your brain controls pretty much every aspect of your body. You are your brain. You have the ability to control every aspect of your body.
The only problem is how much you are WILLING to make that change happen. As long as your brain is functioning normally the only limit to what you can do with your body is if you you try to do defies the laws of reality.
It may sound like BS, but willpower literally is the strongest thing in the universe.
You can never say "It's impossible for me to change my sexuality" you can only say "It is very hard and I am not willing to put in that much effort to change something that I am already happy with." You are born with the power to change your sexuality and be happy with it, it's just that you are (most likely) already happy with your sexuality so why change it?
People have slowed their hearts down to the point of almost stopping using pure willpower.
You can't deny that all of this is at least theoretically possible.