Why are you hetero or homosexual?...

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TheSolemnHypnotic

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brandon237 said:
TheSolemnHypnotic said:
Edit IV: Is there a way to turn the anger off in here?

Edit V: I KNOW FOR MOST PEOPLE SEXUALITY IS NOT A CHOICE.

Edit VI: There is no way I am the only 16-year-old who has never been in a relationship.

Edit VII: Perhaps I should lay off the threads. I suck.
IV: Unfortunately not, if someone gets angry, just tell them you are not replying until they edit it and message you to tell you it is edited. Don't do this for each individual, but quote everyone on a page (put the quoting in spoilers for post size) and tell them that you will not respond to their recent posts unless they edit unnecessary aggression out of them :)

V: Yes, for normal people you are generally confined to a small range, I do think though that social conditioning (including by yourself) can make you express your sexuality in a far stronger or weaker manner, to the point of being practically asexual. But most people you know... enjoy reacting to sexual stimuli, so I do not know why you want that for yourself...

VI: No, you are not, it is common and nothing to worry about, I only got into my first and current relationship at 15.

VII: Just change the OP a little in the manner I recommended and you should be golden :) Your OP will likely not be perfect, but just edit it a little where you need to. And this thread has been fine and created a crap-ton of discussion.

EDIT: Double post... why? These things are following me!
This made me feel better about my thread and you made some valid points, so thank you for that. But, also, I have no clue what I would edit in/out of the OP. :)
 

Brandon237

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TheSolemnHypnotic said:
I followed myself on the chart, and I must say it was pretty accurate. I liked it a lot, thank you. :)
[HEADING=2]____________________________________________________________________________[/HEADING]​

This made me feel better about my thread and you made some valid points, so thank you for that. But, also, I have no clue what I would edit in/out of the OP. :)
So where did you find yourself?
Glad to have helped, after all these threads I thought I really must make that thing some time, so I did. I must however try to darken the center lines and make the purple stronger, but when people mentioned the effects of nurture versus nature, I knew I had to!
Now if only I could distribute it...

Only a pleasure, and as for editing the OP, and for future threads, just change the wording of the parts where you don't understand why other people are of their respective other sexualities, because of the implications of that, if many people argue with a point in the OP, change it to a neutral or question statement.

How is it that people are capable of just sticking to one gender of people?
You could maybe change to: Do you think it would be better if people did not let gender affect their romantic interests and would you like to be able to become romantically involved with someone of the gender to which you are not attracted?

Just an idea though, it might not work, but that tone of statement generally gets taken better :) Glad to have helped :)
 

DeathWyrmNexus

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TheSolemnHypnotic said:
DeathWyrmNexus said:
So no, I can't agree with what you found beautiful as it is naive at best and misleading at worst. Then again, I suppose it depends on who you're saying it doesn't matter to.
Well, it has been proven time and time again within this thread that I am naive and had no business posting this topic. +2 internet points to you, sir.
Don't take it to heart though, I was being quasi-facetious.

The heart of the statement was correct and you were correct for admiring it. In the grand scheme of things, the gender of the person you love matters dick. However, I was going the route that my wife and our girlfriend would care who I am giving love to. ;)

I just like semantics and the dickery you can find yourself in. By all means, keep posting threads. They do much better than my own and I have enjoyed this read. XD

I'd consider this a success, really. You provoked thought and that is the point, right? Send me a friend request if you like.
 

Outright Villainy

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Jan 19, 2010
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TheSolemnHypnotic said:
Outright Villainy said:
I think the fact that you've had to post 6 edits kinda shows how poorly worded/thought out the Op is. There is no 'why' to biological attraction. It just is.
Yeah, this is probably my last thread. :p
Well, you don't have to crawl off and never say anything again. Maybe just stick to stuff you know more about in the future?

I think, understandably, the whole "sexuality is a choice" is a bit of a sore point for many, so reactions may be a bit more heated than they ought to be. It seems like a misunderstanding more than anything. Don't get discouraged so easily anyway. :p
 

andyboyd

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Jan 24, 2011
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I think you're forgetting that even IF (big if) we are predetermined to be hetero or homo, we will always have a choice, if someone is predetermined to be homo they may go there entire life acting hetero, so you cant honestly say there is no choice when speaking of sexuality
 
Jun 23, 2008
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zelda2fanboy said:
I wasn't speaking from the perspective of how things necessarily are, but how they should be. The problem is in accounting for religious stuff that may influence people, it's automatically lent an air of credibility, which it shouldn't have.
Spoken like a true New Atheist, and I absolutely agree.

I think I bring these things up since we do have a significant religious demographic on The Escapist forums, and I like to remind them where their churches are positioned, even if they, personally, are not, and especially if it's absurd. Since faith traditionally has more to do with loyalty than belief (i.e. If at noon the King declares it is night, behold the stars.) I would like to see people more selective about allying their name, their tithes (and according to the churches, their soul) with guys who are going to push for criminalization of gays and the legitimization of reformation therapy. Those who are (for example) born again evangelists and yet don't accept these positions[footnote]Let alone accept more openly treasonous positions such as dominionism [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominionism]...[/footnote] might want to find out what their church actually represents before they feed its coffers.

As for the RCC[footnote]According to the Holy See, there are 406,411 priests and 1.12 billion Roman Catholics worldwide. I'd be more inclined to know their method of census before giving much credence to these figures.[/footnote], while I have respect for their position regarding scientific matters (The Vatican often going as far as sponsoring scientific advancement efforts directly), they are still behind times in sexual matters, to the point of discouraging contraceptive use in famine-torn countries and excommunicating a 12-year-old pregnant girl (and her mother and doctor) for aborting a pregnancy after she was raped for years by her stepfather.[footnote]Termination of the pregnancy was necessitated once it was determined the girl's body would not survive carrying to term. The stepfather, while convicted and imprisoned by the state, did not face excommunication.[/footnote] Amongst Catholics, there are a wide sweeping range of beliefs, and they are encouraged generally to trust their consciences more than the word of the Church, but that doesn't stop the church from denying communion to those with whom they disagree, or pressuring, including threatening excommunication, when a public figure is too liberal for the Vatican's tastes.

But regarding the issue of gays staying closeted in seminary, it really depends on the individual. Those who are becoming a priest at the pressure of family and society are more inclined to conceal their inner nature than those who do it out of a spiritual calling. As the requirement for passing [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passing_%28sociology%29] wore heavily on gay highly decorated officers in the US Armed Services during DADT, I suspect gay members of the priesthood would find themselves spiritually inhibited with time until they outed themselves. But given it's a new ruling, and the Church was a universal route for gays, intelligentsia and any other fringe subsection of the populace to find a place in Feudal society, its disappointing to see it implemented at all. Stupid, given the seminary is starved for new recruits. There's also the matter that it's about time that women be allowed into the priesthood, but it won't happen during Ratzinger's reign.

238U.[footnote]In the event that Escapist requires me to view a commercial before getting a code, I will simply not post. Depending on the frequency, this may temper or cease my future participation in the Escapist community. Apologies in advance, if this policy prevents me from replying to you when it is proper to do so.[/footnote]
 

andyboyd

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Jan 24, 2011
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Spot1990 said:
andyboyd said:
I think you're forgetting that even IF (big if) we are predetermined to be hetero or homo, we will always have a choice, if someone is predetermined to be homo they may go there entire life acting hetero, so you cant honestly say there is no choice when speaking of sexuality
Except there's a difference between being and acting.
i cant argue with that :) but what i mean is if that is what happens then the man in question will be perceived as a hetero, even though in his heart he knows he is homo
 

Twilight.falls

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Jun 7, 2010
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Well, ignoring all the debates, I will answer the actual topic.

I, for one, see sex (as in, being male or female) to not be a factor in romance or sexual attraction.

It's personality, how we behave around each other, and our general chemistry that determines how interested I am in somebody.

I generally don't concern myself with whether someone is male or female (at least, I don't give it a whole lot of thought), I concern myself with whether or not I have feelings for that person.

So far, I've been pretty happy like this.
 

TheSolemnHypnotic

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brandon237 said:
TheSolemnHypnotic said:
I followed myself on the chart, and I must say it was pretty accurate. I liked it a lot, thank you. :)
[HEADING=2]____________________________________________________________________________[/HEADING]​

This made me feel better about my thread and you made some valid points, so thank you for that. But, also, I have no clue what I would edit in/out of the OP. :)
So where did you find yourself?
Glad to have helped, after all these threads I thought I really must make that thing some time, so I did. I must however try to darken the center lines and make the purple stronger, but when people mentioned the effects of nurture versus nature, I knew I had to!
Now if only I could distribute it...

Only a pleasure, and as for editing the OP, and for future threads, just change the wording of the parts where you don't understand why other people are of their respective other sexualities, because of the implications of that, if many people argue with a point in the OP, change it to a neutral or question statement.

How is it that people are capable of just sticking to one gender of people?
You could maybe change to: Do you think it would be better if people did not let gender affect their romantic interests and would you like to be able to become romantically involved with someone of the gender to which you are not attracted?

Just an idea though, it might not work, but that tone of statement generally gets taken better :) Glad to have helped :)
I did edit the OP, even though traffic has slowed by 900%, lol.
 

TheSolemnHypnotic

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Dec 12, 2010
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DeathWyrmNexus said:
TheSolemnHypnotic said:
DeathWyrmNexus said:
So no, I can't agree with what you found beautiful as it is naive at best and misleading at worst. Then again, I suppose it depends on who you're saying it doesn't matter to.
Well, it has been proven time and time again within this thread that I am naive and had no business posting this topic. +2 internet points to you, sir.
Don't take it to heart though, I was being quasi-facetious.

The heart of the statement was correct and you were correct for admiring it. In the grand scheme of things, the gender of the person you love matters dick. However, I was going the route that my wife and our girlfriend would care who I am giving love to. ;)

I just like semantics and the dickery you can find yourself in. By all means, keep posting threads. They do much better than my own and I have enjoyed this read. XD

I'd consider this a success, really. You provoked thought and that is the point, right? Send me a friend request if you like.
Oh, okay. I get it. Thank you, I hope I provoked more thought than anger at this point.
 

TheSolemnHypnotic

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Dec 12, 2010
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Twilight.falls said:
Well, ignoring all the debates, I will answer the actual topic.

I, for one, see sex (as in, being male or female) to not be a factor in romance or sexual attraction.

It's personality, how we behave around each other, and our general chemistry that determines how interested I am in somebody.

I generally don't concern myself with whether someone is male or female (at least, I don't give it a whole lot of thought), I concern myself with whether or not I have feelings for that person.

So far, I've been pretty happy like this.
I think that's pretty idealistic, which is why I like it. Good for you! :)
 

rutger5000

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Oct 19, 2010
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Got to say I find your thread very interresting. Don't talk yourself down. I'm bisexual because of choice mostly, my urges towards the male sex aren't so high that I couldn't ignore them. But I feel comfortable with who I'm, and I always try to stay open for new experiences (no I haven't been romantically or sexually involved with a man yet, but I likely will.) So bisexuality just feels natrual to me I guess.
Though I must say I have preferenceses. Males and females are just different, the mental and physical differences are enormous. I myself prefere physical charistics commonly found in femals (when I find then in males, I don't find them very attractive), but I can't stand many of the mental charastics most females have. Their inconfidence about themselves (or the oppisent when they are just arrogant), their ability to be incredibly mean, their indirectness in communication, and many more traits. Not all females suffer from these traits, but plenty of them suffer from one or more. So when I meet someone who doesn't suffer from any of these traits, is cheerfull, adventerous and I'm sexually attracted to that person. Then I'll go for it regardless of gender.
 

rutger5000

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Tanksie said:
hetro due to nature itself.

but if nature was really smart, there would not be any gays.
Not true it works perfectly for bonobos and many other species, and it's a great way to keep the population down. Especially for animals that need sexual relief (basically any animal that goes in heat).
You're assuming that sex only functions for reproduction and that all animals need to reproduce. Both assumptions are naive, sex is a great way to establish social standings and for many species it's very healthy, and (besides humans) all species reproduce less when their environment demands it.
 

Meggiepants

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Jan 19, 2010
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Normally I wouldn't post in a thread like this, I just clicked out of curiosity. But your edits kind of made me feel bad for you. I think you are just honestly asking a question out of some confusion, so I'll give you a response I hope is helpful.

I'm hetero simply because I am physically attracted to men. So it would be biology that makes me hetero. However, what you are talking about seems to be deeper than simple sexual excitement. Sexual excitement I feel comes more from a biological urge. Relationships can develop between two people that have less to do with biology and sexual drive. I think you can have an extremely intense relationship with someone of any sex, a relationship that is quite possibly far deeper than any you could have with someone you simply had a physical attraction to. There are plenty of people out there who get all the emotional support they need from relationships that have nothing to do with sex.

Personally, I think you are a lucky person if you find your ideal sexual mate, and they also happen to be your ideal emotional and intellectual match as well. I know couples who have one but not the other. A wife who they find incredibly hot, but they still go to their buddies to just chill and relax and talk. A husband who is their best friend, but he is not who she thinks about when she is in bed with him. This doesn't mean they don't love those people, it just means they get different things from different people.

People are incredibly complex. One person may not fit all your emotional, sexual and intellectual needs. You may need several people in order to fulfill these needs. There's nothing unusual about that, and gender really has nothing to do with two thirds of that equation.
 

Brandon237

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Mar 10, 2010
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TheSolemnHypnotic said:
brandon237 said:
TheSolemnHypnotic said:
I followed myself on the chart, and I must say it was pretty accurate. I liked it a lot, thank you. :)
[HEADING=2]____________________________________________________________________________[/HEADING]​

This made me feel better about my thread and you made some valid points, so thank you for that. But, also, I have no clue what I would edit in/out of the OP. :)
So where did you find yourself?
Glad to have helped, after all these threads I thought I really must make that thing some time, so I did. I must however try to darken the center lines and make the purple stronger, but when people mentioned the effects of nurture versus nature, I knew I had to!
Now if only I could distribute it...

Only a pleasure, and as for editing the OP, and for future threads, just change the wording of the parts where you don't understand why other people are of their respective other sexualities, because of the implications of that, if many people argue with a point in the OP, change it to a neutral or question statement.

How is it that people are capable of just sticking to one gender of people?
You could maybe change to: Do you think it would be better if people did not let gender affect their romantic interests and would you like to be able to become romantically involved with someone of the gender to which you are not attracted?

Just an idea though, it might not work, but that tone of statement generally gets taken better :) Glad to have helped :)
I did edit the OP, even though traffic has slowed by 900%, lol.
Eh, I'm guessing you got the inferno badge, and it is more advice for future threads :) But good luck for those, and it seems there is still some activity :)
You have also made yourself known in 300 posts... a rare feat.

Glad to have helped in some small way.