Why aren't games chicks attracted to big & muscular guys?

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ks1234

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Mar 12, 2011
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Long story short, i'm fairly successful (for my age, i'm 23 FYI). I own my own home (yes, own, no roommates) I have two vehicles, a great job, and I go to school...and when I graduate i'm going to have a career as a police officer. Now here's the thing, i'm a pretty big and fairly ripped (i'm 6'3, 260, with about 10% body fat) I workout as a hobby but I just have great genetics so I pack on muscle and loose fat like crazy... but I love it, I love looking this way and it's also good because, as a police officer, I will need to be bigger, stronger, and faster than the criminals i'm chasing down.

Now here's the thing, I love when a girl plays video games. There's nothing that is more of a turn on to me than to see a pretty girl with a controller in her hand or to be interested in all of the nerdy crap I do (build computers, game, read... all of that stuff that chicks hate) Anyway, i've tried talking to a few(and by a few, I mean a lot) of those girls but i'll almost immediately get shut down bc they're like "look, you seem like a great guy... but you're just too fucking big." and then i'm all like "aww...damn... :(". Here's the shitty part... they will then go and date some fucking loser who works at Wal-Mart and lives with his parents... because... I don't fucking know why actually.

Okay, so I know that story wasn't short... I was wondering what it is? Why will a gamer girl (because most other women are jumping up and down to be with me but it's kinda like... having a pantry full of Ramen Noodles and fucking hating Ramen) And like I said, this isn't an isolated incident... it's happened more times than I can count. So anyway, what gives?

-EDIT- I like how many who have posted in this thread have made the assumption that having big muscles means that someone is lacking intelligence. In-fact, I believe that both the body and mind have to be strong... I could not of made it to where I am in life today if I was lacking intellect... so I would greatly appreciate it if people would stop assuming that I am not as smart as my nerdy (and slightly smaller) counterparts.

-EDIT2- Apparently people have me mistaken for the typical frat boy, jock, party/drinker, jackass, etc. etc.
I don't party, I don't drink, I don't do drugs... I work, I go to school, read, and play games... about the most exciting thing I do is train in Mixed Martial Arts. Just thought i'd throw that out there.

-EDIT3- Well ladies and gentlemen, I appreciate all of the great advice... I also have some appreciation for all of the "you're such a d-bag" and "your ego is as big as a house" etc. etc.
Granted, my ego might be slightly larger than your average bears... my post did make me come off as an egotistical d-bag ... or as one lovely lady put it... "uber douche" ... I really don't try to think that way but as much as I am a nerd/geek/gamer I am also an alpha male, and as such there is that risk of a slightly raised ego. Again, I really try to not let it get out of hand but my post made me seem like a dick... which is partially out of frustration...
Anyway... I think posting a picture in a non-picture related thread is more of a douche move but many people have asked for one... I wish I could post a poll but if you people want me to post one, I will.. so you don't have a tiny little thumbnail to look at.
Anyway, thanks again guys... Cheers!
 

SilentCom

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Mar 14, 2011
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I'm no psychologist but it have to do with the fact you are much bigger than them. =P

No seriously, you're big, strong, and very successful for your age, so girls might perceive you as being sort of out of their league or being a different type than they are interested in. The geeky gamer girls you seem to be interested in probably want to be with guys who are on par with them- geeky gamer guys.

This is just a theory, I can't really say for sure. Maybe they're just intimidated by you?

We need to get some escapist girls here to comment, they probably know better than I.
 

Worgen

Follower of the Glorious Sun Butt.
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Apr 1, 2009
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Whatever, just wash your hands.
well, a certain amount of muscles women like but if you get too muscular then really... its more likely to attract guys then girls, or so I understand
 

CATB320

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Jan 30, 2011
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I don't know, that's weird. I'm a chick who games and manly men are the only men for me.
:/
 

technoted

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Nov 9, 2009
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I'm just going to go ahead and say it... What on Earth am I reading here?

I really don't know whether to take this seriously or assume I'm being trolled. Either way perhaps if you chilled out a bit and perhaps got to know the "Loser who works at Wal-Mart" you might possibly find out his secrets or something, don't know...
 

TeeBs

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Oct 9, 2010
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There is such a thing as too much of a good thing, and I couldn't help but get the sneaking suspicion that you would come off pretty egotistical about the whole muscle thing.
 

theevilgenius60

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Jun 28, 2011
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feel you bro. at 6'8", 250, i have trouble getting a girl that is anything like me, interest wise. don't have an answer, but if you find one, let me know
 

BanicRhys

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May 31, 2011
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I'm sure you'll find a woman who likes that kind of thing. You probably just need to make sure you're more forward with women because those who are into large muscles are probably also pretty intimidated.

Although, it couldn't hurt to let some of that muscle mass deteriorate if it is really bothering you. Or you could just wear long sleeve tops, I don't know.

ks1234 said:
Here's the shitty part... they will then go and date some fucking loser who works at Wal-Mart and lives with his parents... because... I don't fucking know why actually.
You don't strike me as the most caring/humble guy in the world. You could work on that.
 

Dissolve

Garroter of Maladjusted Slobs
Apr 27, 2011
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That's a hard question. One possible answer could be that there's a difference between what people want, and what they think they deserve. In this case, nerdy girls are a highly denigrated group, and they feel like they deserve something different from you, as you must look like a jock. They see a jock, and instantly project the feelings of inferiority that were drilled into them in high school.

My recommendation is that if you want to attract a nerd, think like a nerd. Try to wear clothing that fits your size (ie. no muscle shirts), and really try to act modest and caring, stressing your interest in all things nerdy. Tell her that your workouts always come second to your interest in games, computers, and books.

Also, submit this to Love FAQ. I'm sure she'd love to address this one.
 

VaudevillianVeteran

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Sep 19, 2009
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Girls like different types of guys. It's not just girls who play video games, everyone has their own preferences, for example, you like girls who game. While another guy would find that geeky as hell and be a major turn off. Some girls don't like being intimidated by muscles, while some girls like muscles because it's protective to them. It's going to be a toss up about who you find, focus on becoming friends first and all that jazz, you'll find someone.
 

ThePurpleStuff

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Apr 30, 2010
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I'm a gamer girl, I'm not picky when it comes to guys in looks, I'd date anyone whose not a jerk or a douchebag which you're certainly not. I'm in a relationship right now, you sound attractive to me but maybe you're looking in the wrong place with women. Most women who like how you described yourself aren't gamers at all, which kind of sucks but are you looking for women who are just gamers or hot girls who are gamers which is incredibly rare to have both sometimes? I don't know, it just sounds like its either the girl's tastes not matching up with you or maybe you come off too strong at first glance. I have no idea how you really act in real life, so can't really say.
 

Thaluikhain

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Jan 16, 2010
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technoted said:
I'm just going to go ahead and say it... What on Earth am I reading here?

I really don't know whether to take this seriously or assume I'm being trolled. Either way perhaps if you chilled out a bit and perhaps got to know the "Loser who works at Wal-Mart" you might possibly find out his secrets or something, don't know...
I'd say this isn't trolling, there's plenty of guys confused and upset that women find people other than themselves attractive, and that there's something terribly wrong with not having a girlfriend.
 

templargunman

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Oct 23, 2008
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ks1234 said:
If I had to guess, you probably seem too macho to them. I don't know you personally, but if you're not a very sensitive person, maybe try to act a bit more sensitive around girls. Also, getting lots of nerdy shirts might help, like shirts for video games and nerd culture references, because there's a good chance some of these girls have a hard time believing your a nerd. Maybe try online dating or something, I'm sure there's lots of gamer girls there.
 

Watchmacallit

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Jan 7, 2010
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Oddly enough, a lot of girls I know don't like big guys. Tall yes, a bit of muscle, yes but big big, no :/

Also, if anyone hasn't noticed, 'hot' guys tend to be the more feminine.
 

Mallefunction

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Feb 17, 2011
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Really? I'm a girl and I love muscular men. Rarely are there nerdy guys who also work out like crazy :3
 

BonsaiK

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Nov 14, 2007
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ks1234 said:
So anyway, what gives?
Large muscles and a physique that has obviously been worked on is often read as a sign of vanity. Confidence is good but vanity (perceived or actual) turns many girls off like you wouldn't believe.

I know some girls who like toned guys, but those girls don't game much, they tend to spend more time at the gym. Contrary to what bodybuilding propaganda might have you believe, most girls don't actually go for that look.