Why aren't games chicks attracted to big & muscular guys?

[trollnystan]

I dunno, I like tall fellas myself. Although ripped guys intimidate me for being way way out of my league - I myself have the physique of a marshmallow. I wish I could give you advice but, despite being female myself, the way women think is often a mystery to me. Good luck though!


EDIT: Also this:

Because they judge you based on your appearance.

Depending on their life they probably make the dame assumptions about buff dudes as I do based on their prior experience.

Spoiler: My previous experiences can be summed up thusly

Or alternatively they think you are out of their league.

Or even more alternatively, they find that the only dudes who have liked them in the past are "geeky-looking" guys so they've convinced themselves that's what they're attracted to.

That diagram is scary accurate when it comes to my thought processes!

 

[LiberalSquirrel]

...Why are you not in my life, OP? Marry me?

Joking aside, as a girl who games, I'd love to find someone that I'm physically attracted to that also shares my interests. I have a ton of male gamer friends, who all inevitably are quite near the stereotypical nerd guy. I love my friends to death, and several of them have asked me out, but... they're not quite my type. Eventually I'll find someone, though! [/optimism]

I'd just say that each person likes different things, and a bunch of gamer girls turning you down is probably more coincidence than a general happenstance of the female gaming population. Take it from a gamer gal who loves muscular guys. Perhaps you're coming on too strong? And, pro tip...

There's nothing that is more of a turn on to me than to see a pretty girl with a controller in her hand or to be interested in all of the nerdy crap I do (build computers, game, read... all of that stuff that chicks hate)

Easiest way to find someone with certain types of interests is by looking where people with those interests congregate. As in... a bookstore, or a electronics store, or a video game store. I'm sure you'll find someone. As the ever-nebulous "they" say, there's someone out there for everyone.

 

[ks1234]

snip #2

Muscle shirts are ridiculous unless you're in the gym... also, shirts that don't fit are even worse... I only wear clothes that fit... I dropped the tiny tight shirts in highschool

 

[StBishop]

Because they judge you based on your appearance.

Depending on their life they probably make the same assumptions about buff dudes as I do based on their prior experience.

Spoiler: My previous experiences can be summed up thusly

Or alternatively they think you are out of their league.

Or even more alternatively, they find that the only dudes who have liked them in the past are "geeky-looking" guys so they've convinced themselves that's what they're attracted to.

 

[Azo Galvat]

Intimidated because you're huge?
A little too confident in yourself?
They're not sure what they're looking for yet?
Not looking in the right spots?

There's any multitude of reasons why you can't seem to get the chicks you're looking for.

 

[enzilewulf]

Long story short, i'm fairly successful (for my age, i'm 23 FYI). I own my own home (yes, own, no roommates) I have two vehicles, a great job, and I go to school...and when I graduate i'm going to have a career as a police officer. Now here's the thing, i'm a pretty big and fairly ripped (i'm 6'3, 260, with about 10% body fat) I workout as a hobby but I just have great genetics so I pack on muscle and loose fat like crazy... but I love it, I love looking this way and it's also good because, as a police officer, I will need to be bigger, stronger, and faster than the criminals i'm chasing down.

Now here's the thing, I love when a girl plays video games. There's nothing that is more of a turn on to me than to see a pretty girl with a controller in her hand or to be interested in all of the nerdy crap I do (build computers, game, read... all of that stuff that chicks hate) Anyway, i've tried talking to a few(and by a few, I mean a lot) of those girls but i'll almost immediately get shut down bc they're like "look, you seem like a great guy... but you're just too fucking big." and then i'm all like "aww...damn... ". Here's the shitty part... they will then go and date some fucking loser who works at Wal-Mart and lives with his parents... because... I don't fucking know why actually.

Okay, so I know that story wasn't short... I was wondering what it is? Why will a gamer girl (because most other women are jumping up and down to be with me but it's kinda like... having a pantry full of Ramen Noodles and fucking hating Ramen) And like I said, this isn't an isolated incident... it's happened more times than I can count. So anyway, what gives?

First off let me say if your avatar is you then holy shit I wanna be where you are as a guy who can only get 175 right now.

Second I don't where you live but where I live most guys when I go to the gym who are built like a tank such as you are usually looking in the mirror half the time at themselves..... I bet you don't do that but anyways around here those guys don't get girls because they tend to act like all that, so girls around here just don't like them because of attitude... so maybe those girls are not so interested because they think that is how you will act... so when going to talk to them maybe you should try a different approach than you currently are... now as some one who isn't the smoothest and usually tells the girls he likes flat out that he likes them that I have no advice for that... maybe they will seem more interested when your in uniform.

 

[SonicKaos]

They probably get the impression that you're a douche, because many guys who fit your description are... It sounds like you think highly of yourself, which is fine as long as you don't project that too much.

Gamer girls are probably looking for something different than a muscly, polo wearing frat boy, so make sure they know that you're not like that. Unless of course you are... in which case get used to it or change if it's really that important to you.

 

[ks1234]

Yessir, that is me in my avatar, and as I said before... it is largely attributed to my genetics... but train hard my friend and you'll be a brick shat-house before you know it...
As for the looking in the mirror constantly, well... of course there is always slight vanity for anyone who works-out... but staring at yourself half of the time
A- makes for really long boring workouts
B- Makes you look like a d-bag.
Cheers!

 

[Withard]

Alot of the girls I know all comment on the same thing. Muscles are like advertising one is vain, self centered and one cant shake off the "ROIDAH!!!" term even if they dont use them.

The ones who they score and get into relationships with are "ripped" as you say but weigh no where near what you do. Sort of like Police Officers or Soldiers (Alot of my friends are in the Army) look like before they become a liability in the role BTW.(buff not good in these professions unless you wanna intimidate *snap*).

So anyway, what gives?

Large muscles and a physique that has obviously been worked on is often read as a sign of vanity. Confidence is good but vanity (perceived or actual) turns many girls off like you wouldn't believe.

I know some girls who like toned guys, but those girls don't game much, they tend to spend more time at the gym. Contrary to what bodybuilding propaganda might have you believe, most girls don't actually go for that look.

This post is VERY correct.

 

[Del-Toro]

When I first read the title I assumed it had something to do with female videogame characters not ending up with the guy who's biggest, and I was going to answer that most gamers aren't built like brick walls so having the generic hottie fall for some hero who isn't (and these days the heroes never are) particularly muscular implies that they too can score with at least an 8, a cynical addition but generally the case in a situation like that. Or in any case where the weedy little bastard is seen as more attractive than the guy who clearly works out diligently and, unless he's roiding, actually takes care of his body and works to refine it.

Of course, then I actually read the OP and am not sure I have such a definitive answer. The best guess I can give is that, with definite exception, maybe the type of woman/girl who is drawn to play videogames, I mean what is generally considered to be part of gamer culture, not peggle or farmville, is also the type who is drawn to weaker men/boys. If what the OP says is true then there is definitely a correllation. Or maybe there is some commonly held negative association between videogames and buff gentlemen?

 

[OneOfTheMichael's]

Well no offence but you seem to have a big ego and a bit of a jerk when you started to call others losers because they're the ones with the girlfriends. You seem to be jealous in my observations.
It may seem that you will have a bit of a hard time finding a girl who is both a gamer and attracted to muscles because those types usually like strong intellect and experience or they'll feel a bit out of their environment going out with a fit big muscular guy.

I have no idea what they think, just my opinions so don't take my word for it.

 

[OneOfTheMichael's]

Really? I'm a girl and I love muscular men. Rarely are there nerdy guys who also work out like crazy :3

Are you a serious gamer girl?

 

[Booze Zombie]

Having taken my first year in psychology, it's is generally thought that people go for mates that resemble themselves in terms of attitude, physical appearance and any other number of complex variations.

Also there's looking good and looking too good, where you might give off certain conotations you don't want to, like that you spend all of your time working out and don't have time for a girl or that you are really focused on your appearance.

 

[DeltaWolfson]

Normally only dumb blonds(or others that act like one) fall for the Stupidly buff guys, Gamer Girls are normally smarter than other girls. So, some times they want to be with someone that use there brain more than their muscles.

 

[Mallefunction]

Really? I'm a girl and I love muscular men. Rarely are there nerdy guys who also work out like crazy :3

Are you a serious gamer girl?

Depends on what you mean by 'serious'. I've been playing games since I was 6 years old. The only games I really don't like are JRPGs and online multiplayer (because people are assholes). I've spent more money on my gaming stuff than I EVER have on clothing...

But to some people, that isn't 'serious'.

 

[Benito Zamora]

I think it's because girls of such a fact are far more attracted to personality than looks/money. You seem pretty full of yourself, so i can see the distaste. You may be handsome and successful, but that isn't always everything to girls. Especially those that think.

I assume this probably is your real problem, not your muscles, as I know plenty of gamer girls who are attracted to muscular/handsome men, but personality is more important to them than either of those.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

I find it extremely annoying you spent the first half of your post saying how great and successful and wonderful you are. Maybe that's why women don't date you, maybe?

Or because of stereotypes. You know, the big jock who is all brawn and no brain? Stereotypes are a huge step back for a lot of things.

 

[DaphneRose]

There's nothing that is more of a turn on to me than to see a pretty girl with a controller in her hand or to be interested in all of the nerdy crap I do (build computers, game, read... all of that stuff that chicks hate)

Maybe it's that type of sexist mentality that women don't like? Last time I checked, interest in technology, games, and my yes, even reading! was something that spans all genders.

But in all honesty, women tend to like 'ottermode aesthetics' when it comes to physique. Though on a more emotional level, In my experience, gamer chicks also tend to be a bit more tomboyish and pursue 'balanced' relationships- that is, with the male and female being on equal terms, and the women will generally be turned off if there is an imbalance. This isn't true of all cases, of course, but just what I've observed. However, most women in society (the ones I assume are pursuing you) are taught to find a provider. A bigger build, your apparent drive, and independence may mark you subconsciously as a provider and someone who tips the 'balance' of the scales, even if it's just because you take up more space.

 

[drisky]

A lots already been said but...

1) Don't talk about your genetics directly
2) Don't call those less well off then you losers
3) Take the time to get to know someone so that they might shake off high-school perceptions or whatever they have of your build.
4) Don't stop working out for a women, dropping a loved hobby to impress someone wont help your life.
5) Women who like both are out there so stay confident.

You shouldn't have a problem for ever just keep at it.