Why aren't games chicks attracted to big & muscular guys?
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ks1234" post="18.301410.12020804 said:Well friend, let me pass you some information MovieBob gave me from his Game Overthinker bits. The image of a very ripped man as the ideal man is not a creation of women, but of men(straight men...and gay men). As a gamer I am sure you have noticed that (lets face it) most women in games have, shall we say large breasts, bottoms, (sometimes oddly) thin wastes, and generally wear very tight and or skimpy outfits.
Why? Because, even though the gender divide as it stands now in gamerdom is about 60% male to 40% female (world pop. 52% female 48% male.just a matter of time.), the industry likes to..to..
To get the geek girl?
1. Use the internet to find one that likes them ripped.
2.Down play how big you are.
Trying to figure out women is hard enough for me, I don't think my advice would help very much.
It could be a lot of different things, your approach to them, your appearance, their perception towards cops, or any of a million other reasons. You could always try a dating website, i'm sure there's a ton of those around for gaming people.
It could be a lot of different things, your approach to them, your appearance, their perception towards cops, or any of a million other reasons. You could always try a dating website, i'm sure there's a ton of those around for gaming people.
I am a gamer girl (24 fyi)
I was looking at your picture (if that's you) and you aren't bad looking, pretty cute if you ask me...
But reading your post, "because most other women are jumping up and down to be with me but it's kinda like... having a pantry full of Ramen Noodles and fucking hating Ramen" And the Wal-Mart comment, you just sound like
And that's probably why the gamer girls aren't into you!
I was looking at your picture (if that's you) and you aren't bad looking, pretty cute if you ask me...
But reading your post, "because most other women are jumping up and down to be with me but it's kinda like... having a pantry full of Ramen Noodles and fucking hating Ramen" And the Wal-Mart comment, you just sound like
And that's probably why the gamer girls aren't into you!
I dunno bro. I feel the same way as OP and I can see where he's coming from.Fagotto said:You're pretty much just confirming the theory that some of us put forth that it's your personality that's the problem.ks1234 said:This is me going out on a limb and saying- you're not that cute...Princess_Dee said:
But thanks for playing.
She's having a go at him, he just wants a little advice.
I think they are supposed to match the background shade. And the lettering that was used in the ad.Dags90 said:
Though, a designer I am NOT.
I have no fashion sense....
While no expert myself Ill toss out the theory that it is entirely possible to be too good looking for your own good. Really attractive women face the same problem as you in that most people will assume that they arent good enough for this super attractive person even if they say otherwise (which is difficult to do without sounding arrogant).
My other theory is that different girls are into different things. It is entirely possible that these girls relate more to the guy with the minimum wage job still living with his parents as that is more where they are in their lives
My other theory is that different girls are into different things. It is entirely possible that these girls relate more to the guy with the minimum wage job still living with his parents as that is more where they are in their lives
having read your post, i know your problem. it's not because you're big, it's because you're not very nice. they're looking for an excuse, to avoid telling you that you're just a douchebag, but that's the big secret.
At the risk of being labelled a misogynist or just offensive, I'd like to say the following. I know that's like saying "I'll tell you if you promise you won't get mad...", but here goes:
Women select characteristics in a man which are suitable to their society and lifestyle.
If we lived in a time where physical danger from other people / predators is very high, then you, sir, would be a god among men, and any woman on your arm would be the envy of all others because you are a protector, a wall of muscle that shields her and her offspring from danger.
However, we don't live in a time where physical danger is the norm. Your bulging muscles and hulking form are unnecessary. Hell they may even be considered a hindrance. Just as being a bit of a sensitive, kind, egg-head is great in a developed, stable society but a draw back in a primitive violent one - you are the reverse. Your most obvious, easily advertised traits - your size and strength - are in today's society unnecessary.
Sure, they're very functional and (I daresay) essential things in your line of work as a police officer (kudos for the hard work in that role btw - cops, like soldiers, deserve respect and acknowledgement), but there are hundreds of other jobs and traits that provide 'suitable' protection to women in this society. Added to this, once they learn you are a police officer they think "wow, sexy job, good body ... but in 5 years time is he going to get shot and leave me with three kids and a mortgage?" ... well, maybe not so clearly as that but there will be an *instinctive* warning in their head saying 'he is high risk'.
It's a risk that they won't want to take, especially when compared to, say, the physically less stunning accountant sitting behind you who is just as intelligent, just as nice, and makes just as much money - he's not going to be shot by a junkie. Thus, his chances of supporting her are far greater than yours, despite what her loins may think about your manly manliness.
Look at it this way - evolutionarily, she's more likely to shag you as you demonstrate powerful genes, but she'll marry him, because he's gonna be able to keep her provided for better and more reliably in the current society.
An example: I'm similar to you - I'm quite heavily muscled after 15 years of weight lifting - although I'm not as tall. My wife gets angry when I do more weights because she says 'you don't NEED to be that big'; she got angry when I considered joining the military or the police force because - and I paraphrase (she's Japanese-Korean so this wasn't in English) - 'you're more useful to me alive, poor and stable than dead, rich, and no longer providing'.
However, she, like me, is a bit of a nutjob zombie survivalist -- and she positively goes wild when she realises I have my bug-out bag, weaponry, medical supplies, and everything else ready for TEOTWAWKI - for the express purpose of keeping her and my son alive - but it is also abundantly clear from my physical appearance that I do not spend vast amounts of my time and resources in maintaining the body of a Greek god (because I look more like a stockier, slightly rounder god ... maybe Sumerian?).
Women select characteristics in a man which are suitable to their society and lifestyle.
If we lived in a time where physical danger from other people / predators is very high, then you, sir, would be a god among men, and any woman on your arm would be the envy of all others because you are a protector, a wall of muscle that shields her and her offspring from danger.
However, we don't live in a time where physical danger is the norm. Your bulging muscles and hulking form are unnecessary. Hell they may even be considered a hindrance. Just as being a bit of a sensitive, kind, egg-head is great in a developed, stable society but a draw back in a primitive violent one - you are the reverse. Your most obvious, easily advertised traits - your size and strength - are in today's society unnecessary.
Sure, they're very functional and (I daresay) essential things in your line of work as a police officer (kudos for the hard work in that role btw - cops, like soldiers, deserve respect and acknowledgement), but there are hundreds of other jobs and traits that provide 'suitable' protection to women in this society. Added to this, once they learn you are a police officer they think "wow, sexy job, good body ... but in 5 years time is he going to get shot and leave me with three kids and a mortgage?" ... well, maybe not so clearly as that but there will be an *instinctive* warning in their head saying 'he is high risk'.
It's a risk that they won't want to take, especially when compared to, say, the physically less stunning accountant sitting behind you who is just as intelligent, just as nice, and makes just as much money - he's not going to be shot by a junkie. Thus, his chances of supporting her are far greater than yours, despite what her loins may think about your manly manliness.
Look at it this way - evolutionarily, she's more likely to shag you as you demonstrate powerful genes, but she'll marry him, because he's gonna be able to keep her provided for better and more reliably in the current society.
An example: I'm similar to you - I'm quite heavily muscled after 15 years of weight lifting - although I'm not as tall. My wife gets angry when I do more weights because she says 'you don't NEED to be that big'; she got angry when I considered joining the military or the police force because - and I paraphrase (she's Japanese-Korean so this wasn't in English) - 'you're more useful to me alive, poor and stable than dead, rich, and no longer providing'.
However, she, like me, is a bit of a nutjob zombie survivalist -- and she positively goes wild when she realises I have my bug-out bag, weaponry, medical supplies, and everything else ready for TEOTWAWKI - for the express purpose of keeping her and my son alive - but it is also abundantly clear from my physical appearance that I do not spend vast amounts of my time and resources in maintaining the body of a Greek god (because I look more like a stockier, slightly rounder god ... maybe Sumerian?).
I think one of the problems, ks1234, is that in frustration you're looking for a simpler pattern than there is. I don't know how many gamer girls have rejected you specifically due to your size, but I doubt that is representative of all, or even most girls who like and play games. If it really is a matter of that, you just need a larger sampling of women who game.
If you are consistently getting rejected by everyone, it may be a personality issue. Just like we're scared of the crazy ones, we're also afraid of people that might be too impatient, who drink too much, who overly insist their own way, who ridicule those things we think are important, and so on. In that case, it's time to figure out what that is, and seek to change.[footnote]ks1234, Your story about the loser who works at Wal-Mart and lives with his parents reminds me of a study of a band of Chimpanzees in which an elder was getting a bit on the side with one of the higher-echelon females, despite the efforts of the alpha. The elder was kind and gentle, shared his food and was well liked by the rest of the band. The alpha was just the biggest and strongest. But this is basic Buddhism: if you really want what the Wal-Mart loser is getting, he becomes your master; find out what he's doing to get it.[/footnote] With your motivation, If you really want it, I doubt it would be long before you had your pick of cool gamer chicks.
238U.[footnote]In the event that Escapist requires me to view a commercial before getting a code, I will simply not post. Depending on the frequency, this may temper or cease my future participation in the Escapist community. Apologies in advance, if this policy prevents me from replying to you when it is proper to do so.[/footnote]
If you are consistently getting rejected by everyone, it may be a personality issue. Just like we're scared of the crazy ones, we're also afraid of people that might be too impatient, who drink too much, who overly insist their own way, who ridicule those things we think are important, and so on. In that case, it's time to figure out what that is, and seek to change.[footnote]ks1234, Your story about the loser who works at Wal-Mart and lives with his parents reminds me of a study of a band of Chimpanzees in which an elder was getting a bit on the side with one of the higher-echelon females, despite the efforts of the alpha. The elder was kind and gentle, shared his food and was well liked by the rest of the band. The alpha was just the biggest and strongest. But this is basic Buddhism: if you really want what the Wal-Mart loser is getting, he becomes your master; find out what he's doing to get it.[/footnote] With your motivation, If you really want it, I doubt it would be long before you had your pick of cool gamer chicks.
238U.[footnote]In the event that Escapist requires me to view a commercial before getting a code, I will simply not post. Depending on the frequency, this may temper or cease my future participation in the Escapist community. Apologies in advance, if this policy prevents me from replying to you when it is proper to do so.[/footnote]
Needs more Wii and Farmville.Mallefunction said:
[/sarcasm]
Don't bother quantifying your gamerness. You're on a gaming website, you're obviously a gamer.
I remember when I tried to tell my girlfriend how to play a game and she pointed out that she's been gaming about 5 years longer than me. It's one of those things that plenty of dude gamers have trouble grasping because most of us haven't met gamer girls (or girls at all
*forever alone*).
It's a bias we have. We tend to think of bigger, more physically fit men in terms of stereotypes. It's the same with very pretty women - especially if they have larger breasts and longer hair, or are blonde, etc. It sucks, but there it is. You have to work harder to overcome those mental barriers that society has set up for you with generations of sitcoms and formative movies, literature, and games. Sorry.ks1234 said:Long story short, i'm fairly successful (for my age, i'm 23 FYI). I own my own home (yes, own, no roommates) I have two vehicles, a great job, and I go to school...and when I graduate i'm going to have a career as a police officer. Now here's the thing, i'm a pretty big and fairly ripped (i'm 6'3, 260, with about 10% body fat) I workout as a hobby but I just have great genetics so I pack on muscle and loose fat like crazy... but I love it, I love looking this way and it's also good because, as a police officer, I will need to be bigger, stronger, and faster than the criminals i'm chasing down.
Now here's the thing, I love when a girl plays video games. There's nothing that is more of a turn on to me than to see a pretty girl with a controller in her hand or to be interested in all of the nerdy crap I do (build computers, game, read... all of that stuff that chicks hate) Anyway, i've tried talking to a few(and by a few, I mean a lot) of those girls but i'll almost immediately get shut down bc they're like "look, you seem like a great guy... but you're just too fucking big." and then i'm all like "aww...damn...
Okay, so I know that story wasn't short... I was wondering what it is? Why will a gamer girl (because most other women are jumping up and down to be with me but it's kinda like... having a pantry full of Ramen Noodles and fucking hating Ramen) And like I said, this isn't an isolated incident... it's happened more times than I can count. So anyway, what gives?
-EDIT- I like how many who have posted in this thread have made the assumption that having big muscles means that someone is lacking intelligence. In-fact, I believe that both the body and mind have to be strong... I could not of made it to where I am in life today if I was lacking intellect... so I would greatly appreciate it if people would stop assuming that I am not as smart as my nerdy (and slightly smaller) counterparts.
-EDIT2- Apparently people have me mistaken for the typical frat boy, jock, party/drinker, jackass, etc. etc.
I don't party, I don't drink, I don't do drugs... I work, I go to school, read, and play games... about the most exciting thing I do is train in Mixed Martial Arts. Just thought i'd throw that out there.
Then there's the other thing society has saddled you with: big guys are more dangerous to women, particularly women with weaker emotional backgrounds or social skills (hi female gamer, it's ok I'm one of you, I'm not talking about all of us). Lots of women get raped, lots of women get abused, and lots more women know another woman in that situation, even if they are not - or have known of one - or have virtually experienced that some way. Threat assessment says go with a guy you could take if you had to - somewhere very quietly and insistently. Not always, but it might be part of your problem - big can be threatening without knowing where that sense of threat comes from.
If you're serious about landing some special gamer girl I recommend building trust from the word go and being alert for subtle signs of discomfort paired with either addressing them or adjusting your actions as needed.
I sense some frustration in your initial post too, and I do sympathize - it can't be easy to realize that what you've been told is every woman's ideal is actually a barrier in dealing with women. (It's actually the idealized male from a male perspective that we've been primarily exposed to, far as I could ever tell.)
People find musicians attractive? I should be playing this... Nah my instrument (clarinet) is seen as 'lame' :\.Princess_Dee said:
Anyway:
1. If you're going for the sexy body look, some don't like it being too big, same reason most guys don't like girls with abnormally large breasts. Slimming down a bit COULD help if you believe it's your appearance.
2. The tool comment pretty much sums up the rest, you come across as enormously arrogant and in Australia you'd get laughed at if you tried to date a girl with that attitude. Sweeten up your personality a bit and don't play the 'fully awesome jock life YEAH'. It's a benefit to a woman, not their biggest draw-in (unless it's a one night stand). Don't go flaunting it around, but if they ask, tell them about it. Your personality is what will get you a girlfriend, not what you look like.
To the OP: I am in the same boat as you. Big ripped guy, not as big maybe, welterweight, professional soldier and have never had a date. Been skimming through this, there is some advice to be had. My favorite is the intimidating one. That is what I have been told at least. Also just have to try to show that we can be affectionate. That's the best advice I have gotten so far at least. Haven't had a chance to try it out yet though. But it seems to be the biggest difference between us alpha males and the skinny little nerdy guys that still live with mommy. They are not afraid to show sensitivity and act corny and affectionate. Throw out some pet names to the girls and act a bit corny with it. I'm not sure if I can do it, but maybe you can. Best advice I have ever gotten.
Oh! Damn!Devornine said:
You gave him a Kung Lao fatality!
His ego may just be what getting him though.....or rather his Id is too strong for his ego to balance what it wants and what his super-ego wants him to do, making him come off as a bit of a jerk to the girls. However, I could never be sure without first seeing his actions firsthand, or a least talking to these girls about the behavior in question.
I believe I've said too much.
Trust me, I've been told I'm not a real gamer before just because my first system was the PS1 rather than the SNES or Genesis or Atari. Apparently you have to have been born in the 80s to be a real gamer. >.>StBishop said:Needs more Wii and Farmville.
[/sarcasm]
Don't bother quantifying your gamerness. You're on a gaming website, you're obviously a gamer.
I remember when I tried to tell my girlfriend how to play a game and she pointed out that she's been gaming about 5 years longer than me. It's one of those things that plenty of dude gamers have trouble grasping because most of us haven't met gamer girls (or girls at all
I've gotten more crap for that than I ever have for being a vagina owning gamer. Go figure.
