Why can I not forgive this person for what happened?
- Thread starter ddrmatt
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Ok that is just dump man. Emos are little wussies who think the world revolves around them and join cults to tick of there parents. Depression is something serious.The_Yeti said:
But i have a question. Does that sound like your friend AT ALL? If he is normally different something may have happened that day that ticked him off. Im normally mild mannered but a few time i have went ape when i was having a bad day.
But like i say. Holding onto a grudge is the easy thing,Letting it go is hard.
It might be better to talk to him. If you are uncomfortable to be in a room alone with him, then bring along a friend that you both trust to act as a mediator of sorts. Try and present it as a friendly chat and don't force him into anything. That would not work. If you have no desire to see him or speak to him, it might be for the best to cut ties with him. It does sound like he needs professional help, and if he is, you never know, both him and his therapist might be trying to work through it, to try and identify his triggers. There is also a possibility that he could be just trying to pull the wool over your eyes, but hearing about his behaviour that does seem rather unlikely.
Yeah, I was thinking that as well when I read the OPRabish Bini said:
Back off and give him some time. Might be a good idea not to invite him to any partys (or ohter stuff) for a few months. After that if he's feeling better and made his apollegies invite him again to do stuff.
When he fixed his act you should be a man about this and not hold it against him though.
When he fixed his act you should be a man about this and not hold it against him though.
a lot of people these days go 'oh you have to forgive him'.(especially at my church) and sure you can understand why he did this obviously since you said he has depression.
But forgiveness in my opinion is more of an emotion or feeling or whatever and not something you can just do on demand. just saying you forgive someone isnt worth much. And you shouldnt say that you do until you really do, otherwise forgiveness is just a word.
But forgiveness in my opinion is more of an emotion or feeling or whatever and not something you can just do on demand. just saying you forgive someone isnt worth much. And you shouldnt say that you do until you really do, otherwise forgiveness is just a word.
Try and talk him through (preferably in person but I'm not an expert) it but you are definitely within your rights to not wish to immediately forgive him. He was going to attack you with a knife. That is one of those things that can't be forgotten easily regardless of condition. I think the main thing is to make sure he is getting help and if not possibly suggest or if you want to organize it.
If he had intention to harm you then it depends what he was going to harm you with. A stick isn't going to do much damage, whereas a knife can kill. As he used the latter, have a talk with him and if you can't get any sense out of him, then tell him to GTFO.
Seriously, he may be depressed and all, but I know clinically depressed people, and they have never tried to harm others. That kinda thing is just mental instability, not depression.
Seriously, he may be depressed and all, but I know clinically depressed people, and they have never tried to harm others. That kinda thing is just mental instability, not depression.
Seriously?ddrmatt said:
Get him to a mental hospital or at least have a psychiatrist talk to him and maybe perscribe him something. All these "give him some time" or "talk to him about it" advice are nice but if he's trying to hurt others and himself, he should get some professional help.
How about:Rabish Bini said:
"Would you be so nice and fuck off"?
Im very depressed and often freak out on people. So I was empathetic to the depressed guy...until the knife. There is a line. People who do bad things, but dont cross that line deserve some pity and should be understood as needing help. But if the line is crossed, then they are truly the villian. That knife, maybe not crossing the line, certainly touched it. (School shootings are an example of crossing that line from victim to villian)
I wouldn't be able to forgive someone either if they threatened to kill me or a close friend, at least not straight away; I probably would eventually, but even then the bond of trust is irreparably shaken, if not shattered outright.
If you really care for the guy, get him to see a shrink. Like, NOW. And don't pussyfoot around it - tell him to get professional help immediately or the friendship is over. If he's been diagnosed with clinical depression, it's borderline criminal anyway if he hasn't been in therapy until now. Mental illness doesn't necessarily exonerate you if you take a knife to another person.
If you really care for the guy, get him to see a shrink. Like, NOW. And don't pussyfoot around it - tell him to get professional help immediately or the friendship is over. If he's been diagnosed with clinical depression, it's borderline criminal anyway if he hasn't been in therapy until now. Mental illness doesn't necessarily exonerate you if you take a knife to another person.
Yeah id make sure he is actually suffering from clinical depression, people seem to think being unhappy isn't natural we all go through it its part of life. Then they say there suffering from it no your nan died and your girlfriend left you thats life grow a fucking back bone being sad isn't a disease nor is it an excuse to act like a git. If hes just going through a hard time he can fuck right off in my opinion no one is worth the effort if they threaten your life.
And if he is suffering from clinical depression well then thats slightly different but not much i could probably forgive him but I wouldn't consider him a friend.
And if he is suffering from clinical depression well then thats slightly different but not much i could probably forgive him but I wouldn't consider him a friend.
If there was some serious (and real) reason for him acting this way, he should explain it to you, actively seek your forgiveness and also look for a way to prevent this from ever happening again. If he did this, you *might* consider forgiving him (but not forgetting). Depends on how forgiving a person you are.
In my opinion even a clinical depression is no excuse for a lack of self control.
In my opinion even a clinical depression is no excuse for a lack of self control.
