Why do so many guys here suck at talking to or doing pretty much anything with girls?

[zombflux]

Saying "because we're nerds" is stupid. I'm as nerdy/geeky as anyone here and have no trouble talking to/getting girls when I want to.

 

[sokka14]

WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, I can speak to girls.


[sup]I just can't speak to boys[/sup]

oi oi. there's a reason for that.
love the avatar and location btw.

OT: it's pretty simple, i have less in common with most girls. it's also why i don't talk to like jocks and that either.

My tiny female brain can't handle manly conversation?
Chris Morris is a genius. So are people from Newcastle. Possibly.

i was referring to the fact you can talk to girls, but yes probably because you can't handle the sheer intesity of manly conversation. haha.
geordies are definitely genii, that's a proven scientific fact.

 

[Crazycat690]

Dude, you cant just "oh look some guys dont know girls, everyone here are sexist jerks!". I dont got any trouble talking to a reasonable girl, but today, is there any? Theyre either "oh Im sooo pretty!" or "I hate myself, I want to die!". Guys isnt any better-.- I really hope evolution does something really soon or we can just go back to BAGGA GOOOK!!! HACKA HACKA!!! ZZZAAAAAHG!!!

 

[Turing]

To all you people attributing your social ackwardness to being "geeks", however the definition, being a gamer DOESN'T mean an inability to talk to women.
Wake the fuck up.

To take myself as an example, I've been playing computer games since I was around 6 or 7 avidly, and roleplaying games and nerdy strategy games since around 10 and consider myself certainly above average concerning my "skill and luck" with women both platonic and romantic.

As I see it, most of these nerds are digging themselves into a hole due to practicing the socially ackward gamer facade so long it becomes real.

No one can help you but yourself, you whiny brats, go out and relate to the world

 

[Shoukyaku]

Confidence and lack of diversification, most guys cant talk about anything but videogames/anime/ gaming hardware because it is a subject they know at the expense of all others.and on confidence, find a subject outside of gaming you have an intrest in and get comfortable talking about it, to anyone.Then when you accidently bump into an attractive female at a bookstore, you can compare notes on books you like(from books, movies, music to other intrests), offer a discussion over coffee and then finally a date. the formula is kinda simple.

As for confidence you dont have to have it in large amounts just be secure in your knowledge of your subject and try not to think to far ahead of the present moment. Focus on the step you are on and dont rush.

 

[crypt-creature]

We're a generation of men raised by women, I'm wondering if another woman is really what we need.

And men are really that much better?
The same can be said for both sexes, all depends on which side of the fence you're standing on.
"The grass always greener on the other side".

 

[Spitfire175]

Because you know who we are?

[HEADING=1]WE ARE NERDS. Or geeks, at least.[/HEADING]

One of the drawbacks is being socially awkward.

Too true. Nothing to add.

 

[Erana]

Despite hanging around such online sausagefests, I haven't actually had a face-to-face conversation with a male other than my professors in months. I don't avoid 'em, or anything, its just they kinda aren't any around here.
I must admit, I am a little more awkward with the typical male my age, but then again, I'm a bit awkward with the typical female of my age, too...
Really, though, put me in a more mature environment, and I'd be fine.

 

[Neosage]

Bah, I am fine talking to girls. Infact, I would even go so far to say as I enjoy it! You just need some self confidence is all.

Despite hanging around such online sausagefests, I haven't actually had a face-to-face conversation with a male other than my professors in months. I don't avoid 'em, or anything, its just they kinda aren't any around here.
I must admit, I am a little more awkward with the typical male my age, but then again, I'm a bit awkward with the typical female of my age, too...
Really, though, put me in a more mature environment, and I'd be fine.

.......Hi Erana...

 

[tjarne]

Dont really have any problem talking with girls, its they who have problem with me. Altough its generally easier to talk with men/boys due to a greater pool of shared interrests. Im also a bit shy and dont like small talking people I dont know, doesnt matter if they are boys or girls.

 

[Erana]

Bah, I am fine talking to girls. Infact, I would even go so far to say as I enjoy it! You just need some self confidence is all.

Despite hanging around such online sausagefests, I haven't actually had a face-to-face conversation with a male other than my professors in months. I don't avoid 'em, or anything, its just they kinda aren't any around here.
I must admit, I am a little more awkward with the typical male my age, but then again, I'm a bit awkward with the typical female of my age, too...
Really, though, put me in a more mature environment, and I'd be fine.

.......Hi Erana...

You are in Australia.[b/] Or Britian, Or however you spell that thing. Or maybe in both at the same time.
Point is, I can't ignore you if you aren't here.

 

[TOGSolid]

We're a generation of men raised by women, I'm wondering if another woman is really what we need.

And men are really that much better?
The same can be said for both sexes, all depends on which side of the fence you're standing on.
"The grass always greener on the other side".

Why would I try commenting on (or caring about) what it's like for women? I'm pretty obviously not a woman. To be fair, most men are honestly pretty fucking useless, but I don't have to give a fuck about that now do I?

 

[crypt-creature]

We're a generation of men raised by women, I'm wondering if another woman is really what we need.

And men are really that much better?
The same can be said for both sexes, all depends on which side of the fence you're standing on.
"The grass always greener on the other side".

Why would I try commenting on (or caring about) what it's like for women? I'm pretty obviously not a woman. To be fair, most men are honestly pretty fucking useless, but I don't have to give a fuck about that now do I?

Never said you should, nor did I honestly expect you to.
My point was, both sexes can obviously be assholes. Does 'what you need' matter if both options suck equally?
It's what you want. Not need.

 

[Littlee300]

i'm having sex with a girl right now!

Either your performance of posting is going down or your performance of sex is going down then

Or your really talented...

Talking to a guy so much funner (at least at my school) a girl just laughs and agrees with I say usually, a guy cracks jokes, and says things i can agree with him about.

 

[President Moocow]

OP: If you think that it's bad here, try checking out 4chan some time...

Nah, I only count human beings.

So, why is is? Now before you announce your abilities, keep in mind that I don't care how badly afraid you are or how long it's been since you felt the touch of a woman and I especially don't care if you actually can talk to girls or have a relationship or have had sex. Telling me your exploits doesn't help determine WHY people here are so bad.

Well, I don't see where the discussion is, if you plain out do not want to hear our opinions or arguments. I can't speak for anyone here but myself, but I don't talk to girls mainly out of spite(and I'm not just basing this argument off the girls in my college (although that is a pretty big demographic)), I simply find the women I've run into to apparently be cut from the same piece of pink hypocritical paper (group into which I include my female family members (in fact, all my family members).

I won't ever get laid? True, I won't, but so long as I don't have to stick up with the emotional side of women, I'm guud

No, I want to hear what people think. I just don't care for everyone announcing "well I, as a matter of fact, do have a girlfriend". Telling me how many girls you've had sex with doesn't help answer the original question. See as you went on to develop and explain why in your own post I find that interesting. Question:

What do you mean by "same piece of pink hypocritical paper"? And why are emotions so bad?

In college, I was in a gaming club. I went to a women's college, but one year the club decided to hold an annual event: Get Your Geek On, a geek dance party! For once, a dance at my school probably had more/at least an equal ratio of men to women. But you know what? Everyone was fucking awkward. Geek women too afraid to approach geek men, and vice versa. So it is not just guys.

Not surprised. Dancing kinda needs LOTS of confidence a lot of regular party-goers are terrified to dance without being drunk first as well as someone with enough self-confidence to throw them self out there and ignite the dance floor. Probably better off with DDR.

Have a shave.
Have a haircut.
Have a wash.
Get a shirt that fits.
Get some Jeans that fit.
Have a drink.

Sorted.

that's my philosophy too. look good get pissed and find some shallow pointless girl to have a one night stand with.

life's good for us, right???

Except if that was actually the case, you'd know that it takes more than good looks to get in a girl's pants.

Now I could go on all day replying to some actually interesting insights but I'm out of time and I wanted to end these next two are in the category of "people who 'get it' an have advice that's well suited for a lot of the people here complaining about why they are somehow incapable of getting girls":

To all you people attributing your social ackwardness to being "geeks", however the definition, being a gamer DOESN'T mean an inability to talk to women.
Wake the fuck up.

To take myself as an example, I've been playing computer games since I was around 6 or 7 avidly, and roleplaying games and nerdy strategy games since around 10 and consider myself certainly above average concerning my "skill and luck" with women both platonic and romantic.

As I see it, most of these nerds are digging themselves into a hole due to practicing the socially ackward gamer facade so long it becomes real.

No one can help you but yourself, you whiny brats, go out and relate to the world

Weak spirit. Most(I say "most" because there are exception, if you are an exception then roll with it and stop telling me wrong because I ain't) gamers are losers who can't open their mouth for anything. Dude I attend a grammar school and are doing my A-levels now and I see people so often failing at the most simple things because they can't open their mouth or be direct for one goddamn fucking second. It's just a lack of confidence. I had the same problem until I started telling myself to stop being such an idiot and forcing myself to do things.

And people: Stop treating women like some mysterious, divine creatures. yes I know, it's hard to do if you're standing in front of a really nice and hot and popular girl not to fuck up. but every time you're in this situation think about this: This same girl that floods your system with her pheromones right now hangs out and is friends with those stupid main-stream douchebags who think you're a freak because you like to game several hours a day, thinking they're cool. But you, who think that those pricks should go play with something radioactive or impale themselves do not fall for their tricks. YOU are superior. And if you are superior, then behave the right way. This doesn't mean that you should be rude to this brainless instrument of society or act like she's not worth to talk to you. just KNOW that you're superior. Be nice, if she's nice to you. Don't let her get too cocky though, you gotta show her that you're not just some prick she can toy with. Never be her dog.

Little intense on the idea of assertiveness, Triple G, but for both of you that's spot on.

It seems here that people here just go "well I'm a nerd so I'm going to come up with some shitty excuse as to why I will never be able to get a girl". Wrong. You don't fail because you only care about gaming (even if you play all the time, there's gotta be something else you do as well), you fail because you don't even try. You don't even make the effort of finding out if the person has any interesting passions, you just assume none and believe your only chance resides with "gamer-girls". This is complete self-sabotage on 3 levels:

1. Disregarding the possibility that maybe you share an interest with someone that isn't gaming as well as the possibility that you can be interesting in talking to someone who doesn't actually particularly know about gaming.

2. Unwillingness to put yourself out there, find out what people like and be surprised to find that there are people you have stuff in common with. With that attitude, nobody (even those sharing your interests) will enjoy your company.

3. Not even trying to do new things yourself that aren't gaming. Even if gaming is the only thing in your life (which is pretty sad), people change and discover new interests all the time. Make a genuine interest to try stuff you might like (that means don't enroll at a gym for the sole purpose of getting girls) and you'll learn more about yourself.

Even people who get rejected constantly and have never had a relationship are light-years ahead because they actually fucking try.

 

[Tonimata]

OP: If you think that it's bad here, try checking out 4chan some time...

Nah, I only count human beings.

So, why is is? Now before you announce your abilities, keep in mind that I don't care how badly afraid you are or how long it's been since you felt the touch of a woman and I especially don't care if you actually can talk to girls or have a relationship or have had sex. Telling me your exploits doesn't help determine WHY people here are so bad.

Well, I don't see where the discussion is, if you plain out do not want to hear our opinions or arguments. I can't speak for anyone here but myself, but I don't talk to girls mainly out of spite(and I'm not just basing this argument off the girls in my college (although that is a pretty big demographic)), I simply find the women I've run into to apparently be cut from the same piece of pink hypocritical paper (group into which I include my female family members (in fact, all my family members).

I won't ever get laid? True, I won't, but so long as I don't have to stick up with the emotional side of women, I'm guud

No, I want to hear what people think. I just don't care for everyone announcing "well I, as a matter of fact, do have a girlfriend". Telling me how many girls you've had sex with doesn't help answer the original question. See as you went on to develop and explain why in your own post I find that interesting. Question:

What do you mean by "same piece of pink hypocritical paper"? And why are emotions so bad?


Longest chain quote ever dude. Achievement unlocked.
Anyways

OP: If you think that it's bad here, try checking out 4chan some time...

Nah, I only count human beings.

So, why is is? Now before you announce your abilities, keep in mind that I don't care how badly afraid you are or how long it's been since you felt the touch of a woman and I especially don't care if you actually can talk to girls or have a relationship or have had sex. Telling me your exploits doesn't help determine WHY people here are so bad.

Well, I don't see where the discussion is, if you plain out do not want to hear our opinions or arguments. I can't speak for anyone here but myself, but I don't talk to girls mainly out of spite(and I'm not just basing this argument off the girls in my college (although that is a pretty big demographic)), I simply find the women I've run into to apparently be cut from the same piece of pink hypocritical paper (group into which I include my female family members (in fact, all my family members).

I won't ever get laid? True, I won't, but so long as I don't have to stick up with the emotional side of women, I'm guud

No, I want to hear what people think. I just don't care for everyone announcing "well I, as a matter of fact, do have a girlfriend". Telling me how many girls you've had sex with doesn't help answer the original question. See as you went on to develop and explain why in your own post I find that interesting. Question:

What do you mean by "same piece of pink hypocritical paper"? And why are emotions so bad?

Longest quote chain ever man. You have a dedication to your discussion contributers, and I respect that. Achievement unlocked.

Anyways, I have that rather skewed, misanthropical vision of women due to the fact that I've been mostly rejected not only by women but by my peers as a whole. Sadly, yes, I have been constantly surrounded by snobby, self-assured teenagers with a rather annoying tendency to whine too much and enjoying playing the martyr. However, in the case of girls, it has been rather much more painful than mere rejection, with which I deal just fine (after all, the day I have even the slightest impulse to join their social circles will be the day I freeze hell over), but what's even more painful, and here now referring to the hypocritical paper, is that I've been constantly given hope by them, just to be rejected even more harshly, to the point of being called "disgusting". Now, oneself is one's worst judge, but I profoundly doubt I can be classified as such. But then again, it's hardly untrue, since any time I try to have the slightest hint of an intelligent conversation with them, they either dismiss me or start talking about what they did in the weekend. And honestly, it sincerely worries me that that's all not only girls, but a great percentage of the teenagers nowadays think about. Surely, I like to think that I stand out from the crowd when it comes to the pleasures I indulge in, but surely there's something better than getting drunk every single weekend and then bragging about being an alcoholic, which to me sounds like a prediction of brain and liver cancer (simultaneously). So as far as I go, I pretty much ignore women. Sure I feel attracted to them (specially long haired ones), but the rejection I feel from their almost identical habits in every single one can only be symbolized by two electronic magnets set to the same polarity.

And just to really address your initial point this time, I don't suck talking to women. They suck talking to me

 

[DemonicVixen]

I can not understand why guys are scared to speak to girls. To be honest all you have to lose is some pride and dignity. If you like her, ask her out. You want to be friends with her? Get chatting somehow. Its simple in so many ways and yet so many guys just get tongue tied and lost. WTF is wrong with just chatting about anything? I got a boyfriend by talking about random hypnotised penguins (please do not ask). He found it amusing and we spent ages going on about it. Ok so im not an average type of girl, but if that gets me started, imagine the less extreme posibilities that await you for some other girl...

 

[sokka14]

Except if that was actually the case, you'd know that it takes more than good looks to get in a girl's pants.

Now I could go on all day replying to some actually interesting insights but I'm out of time and I wanted to end these next two are in the category of "people who 'get it' an have advice that's well suited for a lot of the people here complaining about why they are somehow incapable of getting girls"

1) yes, obviously i'm being sarcastic.
2) actually no, it IS as easy as that.
3) this paragraph lacked any resemblance to coherency, but obviously you didn't want to waste time on something as trifling as "trying to make sense".

 

[Kimjira19]

I can, but maybe i don't want to. I see them as cruel beings, that will rip out your soul and feed it to dogs.

Awwww. You make me sad. While there definitely are girls like that, there are also a decent number who are completely the opposite. Like me. And my friends.

 

[President Moocow]

Longest quote chain ever man. You have a dedication to your discussion contributers, and I respect that. Achievement unlocked.

Anyways, I have that rather skewed, misanthropical vision of women due to the fact that I've been mostly rejected not only by women but by my peers as a whole. Sadly, yes, I have been constantly surrounded by snobby, self-assured teenagers with a rather annoying tendency to whine too much and enjoying playing the martyr. However, in the case of girls, it has been rather much more painful than mere rejection, with which I deal just fine (after all, the day I have even the slightest impulse to join their social circles will be the day I freeze hell over), but what's even more painful, and here now referring to the hypocritical paper, is that I've been constantly given hope by them, just to be rejected even more harshly, to the point of being called "disgusting". Now, oneself is one's worst judge, but I profoundly doubt I can be classified as such. But then again, it's hardly untrue, since any time I try to have the slightest hint of an intelligent conversation with them, they either dismiss me or start talking about what they did in the weekend. And honestly, it sincerely worries me that that's all not only girls, but a great percentage of the teenagers nowadays think about. Surely, I like to think that I stand out from the crowd when it comes to the pleasures I indulge in, but surely there's something better than getting drunk every single weekend and then bragging about being an alcoholic, which to me sounds like a prediction of brain and liver cancer (simultaneously). So as far as I go, I pretty much ignore women. Sure I feel attracted to them (specially long haired ones), but the rejection I feel from their almost identical habits in every single one can only be symbolized by two electronic magnets set to the same polarity.

And just to really address your initial point this time, I don't suck talking to women. They suck talking to me

Well thanks, once I get rolling on an idea I like to go pretty far.

Now your response had some pretty interesting points that I'm curious to ask about. Before I proceed, I'd like to disregard the immaturity of teens in general as that is something every teen goes through. I think you'll find that eventually, when people grow up, small talk becomes less and less frequent. It doesn't lead anywhere, it doesn't help you make any actually connections with people it only serves the purpose of starting a conversation off and breaking the ice before talking about stuff that's actually interesting. I'd also like to disregard the cultural phenomenon of all teens drinking alcohol for the sake of alcohol. That's a problem of American society. Over time, I feel that drinking becomes less for the sake of itself and more as a way of overcoming that initial social anxiety and letting everyone relax much more freely. This, of course, differs by culture and depends on parties.

Anyways, the hypocrisy you mention. Now I've seen girls ebb people on and reject, I've seen them state something and do the opposite. I've seen a lot and that's let me to believe that a lot of girls do things that aren't based on logic and trying to justify their actions using logic just simply doesn't work. Sometimes it's based on a different kind of logic, sometimes people just do stuff that simply doesn't make sense (like impulsive decisions, which can be advantageous). Perhaps a lot of the frustration you feel is simply because you expect a rational understanding for actions that are, themselves, irrational? Perhaps there's a more acceptable understanding behind what lead someone to act in a certain way?

One thing I'm curious is how you ended up getting viewed as "disgusting" after, presumably, your advances on someone (am I correct?). Now, rejection itself is extremely common and normal but being called disgusting is something different. What did you actually say or do to be rejected so harshly?

Except if that was actually the case, you'd know that it takes more than good looks to get in a girl's pants.

Now I could go on all day replying to some actually interesting insights but I'm out of time and I wanted to end these next two are in the category of "people who 'get it' an have advice that's well suited for a lot of the people here complaining about why they are somehow incapable of getting girls"

1) yes, obviously i'm being sarcastic.
2) actually no, it IS as easy as that.
3) this paragraph lacked any resemblance to coherency, but obviously you didn't want to waste time on something as trifling as "trying to make sense".

Even if it was, you wouldn't know.

I can, but maybe i don't want to. I see them as cruel beings, that will rip out your soul and feed it to dogs.

Awwww. You make me sad. While there definitely are girls like that, there are also a decent number who are completely the opposite. Like me. And my friends.

I'd say very few girls are actually genuinely malicious like that. Most (of the ones that act cruel) may be good people but end up acting in a hurtful way because of something that happened or someone that did something. Some of it may also be seen by someone else as evil despite not being incredibly cruel (like a rejection). Few people, in general, are cruel beings.