why do some peoplel insist you'll want children?

[Lt. Dragunov]

Everyone i meet thinks ima have children for some odd reason, i have no idea why i DO NOT want kids. And if im not getting the your gonna have kids talk then it's the well you can babysit my kids, or you can be the godfather of my kids. I DO NOT want kids i dont want ANYTHING to do with em.

 

[BlumiereBleck]

I'll probably get married have kids, somehow get in freak accident, go missing, BOOM! 7 years later back. I don't think I could do the baby and early childhood thing :[

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

It's nature, isn't it. Every race's primal goal is to propagate, it's foolish to think we're any different. Sure our motives might differ, but it's always the same biological end.

 

[Dahni]

I'm only 16 so who knows if I'll want kids one day. But a lot of people ASSUME that I'm thinking about kids right now, because I'm female and my maternal instincts apparently should have started to kick in and all this shite.

 

[oppp7]

Ya, everyone keeps saying I'll want to get married and have kids eventually, but I just don't want to.

I do think most people do have a compulsion to have kids and raise them, but for some, especially the middle class in rich countries, that desire is replaced by the desire for lesure[sic].

 

[Meggiepants]

In my experience, I find it's either because they feel you are somehow judging their choices, and they don't understand or find it insulting in some way, or they think they know you better than you know yourself.

As to the second part of your question, I don't really talk much to people who don't know me, so I don't get these kinds of statements anymore. The people who know me, know better than to say such things.

But if anyone ever did say this to me, I would likely just politely nod and say, "you're probably right." But that's because I tend to be non confrontational and prefer walking away to sticking around and arguing with someone who clearly doesn't understand me.

 

[Wounded Melody]

I really appreciate everyone's thoughts on my question!
It seems like people who want children are acting on a more emotional level and those who don't are acting on a logical level (not saying one is better than the other, but different).
I'm just going to have to be really careful or else go get myself 'fixed' (haha they call it fixed, so you must be broken if you want kids).
The funny thing is, my mother had me when she was 42, but she wasn't trying--I was actually some kind of miracle back in the late 70s. My older sister was adopted. I know she wants a grandchild, but she is looking at it from the emotional level--besides me not wanting one, there is no money for a child and since I'm already caring for my mother, how the **** could I even manage a baby?
I'm glad to see a lot of people are opting not to have kids, and even opting not to get married. Yes, I know we won't exist as a people if we don't procreate, but I don't large numbers of people will ever stop ever children. There just needs to be a dating site for 'child free' people, because I *hate* getting into a relationship just to find out the guy is baby crazy.

 

[MelziGurl]

I'm only 16 so who knows if I'll want kids one day. But a lot of people ASSUME that I'm thinking about kids right now, because I'm female and my maternal instincts apparently should have started to kick in and all this shite.

Some people's maternal instincts come naturally while others become maternal once they've had kids. So, you may not actually feel maternal until the time ACTUALLY comes. I've always known that I wanted kids, but I became really maternal once my friends started having children. My best friend is a single mum, she became maternal when she saw the ultrasound and heard her sons heartbeat...keeping in mind, she was date raped. I guess that's why a lot of people assume that you're going to want kids.

 

[Motti]

Most people I believe, want to have kids because it's pretty much our basic instinct to make more of ourselves. Whether it's a logical decision or not can often become clouded when it's up against our most basic urge.
Personally I can't have kids and don't particularly want to. I'd rather be the cool uncle that shows up occasionally and brings awesome presents.

 

[ace_of_something]

I know about a dozen people that were damn near VIOLENTLY opposed to having kids. Most of my friends are over 30 now. Damn near everyone has kids. Different people want different things out of life though and some just are never ready for that stage.

 

[JoshLalic]

I do want kids but not right now.
Maybe in 10-15 years time

 

[Tjebbe]

It's not purposefully being rude or ignorant, it's just statistics; most people *do* eventually want kids, even if they were one hundred percent completely absolutely positively sure they didn't want them at an earlier age.

Since this is true for *most* people, other people tend to assume that it's true for everyone else (like, in this case, for you). And while in this case she might be wrong, it's generally quite a good guess.

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

Have you ever come across someone who insists you'll want to have children in the future, even if you are currently dead set against it? Recently a nurse came to our home and somehow the discussion got to children (she has 4 and 2 jobs). I said there was NO WAY I wanted children (I've contemplated surgery, but it's too expensive) but she kept insisting I'd change my mind. She even said her sister was like me and now has 2 kids. She isn't the first person I've met with this mindset. WHY are people like this? Have you ever come across people like this? What do you usually say to them?

There might be an element of fanboyism to it. People will buy shitty products and then give them good reviews(on sites like amazon), choosing to lie to themselves(and you)rather than admit that they have fucked up. Just like people will get defensive about their console, and insist it is the only logical choice...whether there is reason to believe so or not.

I'm not sure what my point is exactly...she just might be trying to convince herself of what she is saying as much as she is trying to convince you. It's the life she has, of course she wants to believe it's a good choice.

I have trouble imagining children in my future. It's not that I entirely dislike children, I just want my life to be as simple and stress free as possible.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

Because they get the idea that you're young and will change your mind when you get older and mature. It's just people looking down on those younger then them, thinking they are wiser because of their age I suppose.

 

[LeonLethality]

"ppl"
...
*eye twitch*
*sees OP's avatar*
*more twitching*
I'll try to ignore this and stay on topic...

I've never ran in to people like that and I don't want kids.

 

[BringBackBuck]

It seems like people who don't want children are acting on a logical level...
Yes, I know we won't exist as a people if we don't procreate.

That is some sweet logic you've got there

 

[ad5x5]

I've known people who were against having children, then they do a complete 360 in the other direction. I believe there is a possibility that you could, but at this stage your set against it. There's always the possibility.

I do hope you're not an engineer.
learn mathematics. seriously.
(or was that ironic and totally flew past my head?)



OT:
I don't get these people either - I don't want kids. Ever.
I don't like kids, and here's a few reasons why:

They're noisy and annoying.
You can't have a decent conversation with them at all about anything.
They cost a lot.
they get underfoot.


I've had a few people say to me (generally these people are mothers of youngish children) that I'd want kids as well someday, despite my protestations. Then the manager asked me to keep an eye on their spawn for a few minutes one day.
Suffice to say that they now all believe that I won't have kids.
Some people go all gooey when they see children - I just view them as minor irritants and couldn't really care less.

as an aside so people know:
ignoring the screaming 6 month old spawn of your boss has three effects
a) it doesn't stop the crying
b) your boss starts listening to you when you say "I don't like kids, don't know what to do with them and don't feel comfortable being responsible for their well-being."
c) your boss never asks you to keep an eye on their progeny ever again.

 

[MetalDooley]

I get this all the time from my mother and wives/girlfriends of friends(many of my friends have kids)who like to tell me that I'll meet the right girl at some point and settle down and have a family.Fuck it I'm in my 30's now and have no desire whatsoever to have children.Minding my brother's 2 year old daughter has only reinforced that belief

 

[Wounded Melody]

Heyyyyyy I used 'ppl' so my title wasn't really really long.
And what the hell is wrong with my avatar??? ;p