she could just be trying to make you jealous to see how far you would go to be with her. women are really complicated don't expect to know them at all.
Why does she keep telling me about guys hitting on her? Is she even interested anymore?
- Thread starter Sabiancym
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Maybe you can find a nice girl who enjoys watching MLP with you, hopefully one who isn't 10.Loop Stricken said:
OT: Girls are complicated(Not saying dudes can't be, so I can't give any advice I think is 100% sound. Seems like other people have good ideas though, but I'd at least like to add that you shouldn't take it too bad if things don't work out.
Hi!
Okay, since I'm a girl, maybe I can help give you some possible scenarios. Hopefully this will help.
Scenario One: She's not into you, but enjoys the attention.
This is probably the least pleasant scenario, but not necessarily the least common. Some women just like to sleep with men and move on. In order to feel more "desirable", some women like to have "hanger-ons", men who lavish the woman with attention to help her attract more attention from men...Men who aren't you...
From what you've described, this scenario doesn't seem entirely likely, but don't rule it out. Especially since you've had sex with her, but now she's gone completely cold-turkey with you. Which brings us to why it could be the next scenario...
Scenario Two: She's into you, but you've done something to upset her or you're not "boyfriend material".
Women are pretty much looking for two types of guys; guys that are forth-coming and assert their dominance over other men for a woman's favor, or men who really show a girl that they want her. Gifts, favors, phonecalls, etc. From what you said about getting that article about her mom's death and helping her move from her abusive-ex's place, it seems to me that you have the latter category pretty much covered. Which brings us to the former...
Maybe she just doesn't feel like you're "asserting your dominance" as much. That you're just a "nice guy" that she can rely on, but she really can't see you as anything more than that. I mean, think about it, she might even lean towards more of a "dominant" type of guy if her last ex was physically-abusive. That guy was definitely some type of Alpha male. I know this sounds really sexist and old-fashioned, but some women just want a guy that they feel wants them and can protect them. Bring out your inner caveman.
Edit: Wait, maybe she thinks you're into guys? I mean, I know you were just joking around with her about finding the waiter hot, but from the way the conversation was phrased (yes, I know you were joking around with her), she might be trying to playfully imply that you're into guys. Just an interesting insight.
Scenario Three: She's into you, but she has no idea that you're into her, thus, she moves on.
This could possibly be the most likely scenario. Have you told her how you felt? Did you ever mention wanting to be in a relationship with her? Chances are, if you haven't, she just thinks that you're interested in just having strings-free sex and has moved on. Because she tells you about the other guys, however, this makes me think that she would like to have a relationship with you, but you've not given her any direct words about wanting to have a relationship with her. If this is the case, I think you should tell her that you're interested in having a relationship with her, point-blank. Trust me, women can be just as clueless to a man's true intentions, especially if she has been in an abusive relationship before. Her ex could have lied to her or kept things from her constantly; just to get what he wanted from her. She could (sadly) be expecting the same of all or any man out there. I think you should just tell her how you feel and your true intentions about having a relationship with her. I think that just talking to her, openly and directly, will help.
So yeah, go talk to her, and goodluck!
Okay, since I'm a girl, maybe I can help give you some possible scenarios. Hopefully this will help.
Scenario One: She's not into you, but enjoys the attention.
This is probably the least pleasant scenario, but not necessarily the least common. Some women just like to sleep with men and move on. In order to feel more "desirable", some women like to have "hanger-ons", men who lavish the woman with attention to help her attract more attention from men...Men who aren't you...
From what you've described, this scenario doesn't seem entirely likely, but don't rule it out. Especially since you've had sex with her, but now she's gone completely cold-turkey with you. Which brings us to why it could be the next scenario...
Scenario Two: She's into you, but you've done something to upset her or you're not "boyfriend material".
Women are pretty much looking for two types of guys; guys that are forth-coming and assert their dominance over other men for a woman's favor, or men who really show a girl that they want her. Gifts, favors, phonecalls, etc. From what you said about getting that article about her mom's death and helping her move from her abusive-ex's place, it seems to me that you have the latter category pretty much covered. Which brings us to the former...
Maybe she just doesn't feel like you're "asserting your dominance" as much. That you're just a "nice guy" that she can rely on, but she really can't see you as anything more than that. I mean, think about it, she might even lean towards more of a "dominant" type of guy if her last ex was physically-abusive. That guy was definitely some type of Alpha male. I know this sounds really sexist and old-fashioned, but some women just want a guy that they feel wants them and can protect them. Bring out your inner caveman.
Edit: Wait, maybe she thinks you're into guys? I mean, I know you were just joking around with her about finding the waiter hot, but from the way the conversation was phrased (yes, I know you were joking around with her), she might be trying to playfully imply that you're into guys. Just an interesting insight.
Scenario Three: She's into you, but she has no idea that you're into her, thus, she moves on.
This could possibly be the most likely scenario. Have you told her how you felt? Did you ever mention wanting to be in a relationship with her? Chances are, if you haven't, she just thinks that you're interested in just having strings-free sex and has moved on. Because she tells you about the other guys, however, this makes me think that she would like to have a relationship with you, but you've not given her any direct words about wanting to have a relationship with her. If this is the case, I think you should tell her that you're interested in having a relationship with her, point-blank. Trust me, women can be just as clueless to a man's true intentions, especially if she has been in an abusive relationship before. Her ex could have lied to her or kept things from her constantly; just to get what he wanted from her. She could (sadly) be expecting the same of all or any man out there. I think you should just tell her how you feel and your true intentions about having a relationship with her. I think that just talking to her, openly and directly, will help.
So yeah, go talk to her, and goodluck!
Now now, men do it too.Ragnarok185 said:
Wonder why this isn't on Love FAQs boggles me, but yeah, fucking talk to the woman. If she's playing a game like making you jealous you'll figure out what you'll need to do from the talk.
People in a relationship will play games like this if there is shoddy communication for all they have is passive aggression.
It probably doesn't help the OPs case that it's only been a month and this girl has been physically abused before. There is that to remember.
I'll be honest, I didn't read all of your post.
But it's a common tactic among the female species. If the context is right that is.
Basically it means that she is giving you subtle hints that other males, other than yourself, are interested in her. Now it could be a sign that you should act upon it, or it could be a bit of a... female equivalent to a libido boost.
But it's a common tactic among the female species. If the context is right that is.
Basically it means that she is giving you subtle hints that other males, other than yourself, are interested in her. Now it could be a sign that you should act upon it, or it could be a bit of a... female equivalent to a libido boost.
The fact that her old boyfriend hit her may have scarred her a bit, well you know it has, as that's her reasoning for not wanting to rush into a relationship. She's jerking you around a bit, but forgive her, it is a scary thing to have your boyfriend hit you.
Also, have you been expilicit with your feelings? Have you told her how much you like her, what you want from her, how her recent change in behaviour has effected you? If not do so as soon as you are sober. She may reject you, that's her right, but the relationship won't progress at all unless your completely up front with her.
Good Luck
Also, have you been expilicit with your feelings? Have you told her how much you like her, what you want from her, how her recent change in behaviour has effected you? If not do so as soon as you are sober. She may reject you, that's her right, but the relationship won't progress at all unless your completely up front with her.
Good Luck
A more vindictive man would report you for this obvious bait. but instead I shall thank you for your well-wishes.Itsthefuzz said:
It's not a dealbreaker though, it must be said - I am not a "Ponies or GTFO" person. Might be headed that way for glasses though; just realise dhow they seem to do wonders for my estimation of a girl's attractiveness.
And if she's half blind I'm in with twice the chance!
And lookie, the OP has an (apparently) actual woman REGISTER with advice! Congratulations!
NAILED IT. Thank you kind sir.The Lugz said:
It's true, she wants to see you care. That's how women are!!!! Complicated, but for a dude with that much experience, you should know.
I would talk her into it.
I don't think a woman would bother telling the "rebound guy" about all of the men hitting on her. Usually, in my experience (I've been dating guys for over 10 years now), most "rebound guys" aren't usually made into friends afterwards. Most rebound guys that I or my friends have had were just dumped after they served their purpose (hey, men do this too!). It seems like this girl just wants the OP to step up and make things official between them. Like I mentioned before, it just kind seems like she was interested (she had sex with him every day for two weeks), but then he just never took it any further? I really think she wants verbal confirmation from him.Acrisius said:
Welcome to the friend zone.
As far as I can tell it just sounds like she's trying to make you jealous, seeing if she can get some kind of reaction of out you. Or, she might just see you as one of her little girlfriends that she cant chat to about cute guys.
Either way you need to be heard, I know all too well about that situation and it's not one you want to stay in.
Just ask her directly what the status is between you two and if its possible to get any further. If she says she just wants to be friends (which is definately a possibility you need to accept) then tell her you can't listen to her talk about guys in that way.
Number one rule that you MUST comply with : Do NOT come across as needy, clingy or overly-aggressive...Just play it cool and bring up the question casually in a conversation. Talk about something else first to break the ice.
As far as I can tell it just sounds like she's trying to make you jealous, seeing if she can get some kind of reaction of out you. Or, she might just see you as one of her little girlfriends that she cant chat to about cute guys.
Either way you need to be heard, I know all too well about that situation and it's not one you want to stay in.
Just ask her directly what the status is between you two and if its possible to get any further. If she says she just wants to be friends (which is definately a possibility you need to accept) then tell her you can't listen to her talk about guys in that way.
Number one rule that you MUST comply with : Do NOT come across as needy, clingy or overly-aggressive...Just play it cool and bring up the question casually in a conversation. Talk about something else first to break the ice.
im really sorry dude, thats awful. as people have said, i dont think shes trying to reject you or blow you off and that shes trying to drop you hints. you need to make her aware that you dont know what she wants but that she is fucking with your head and making you miserable. make it clear to her that, if she cares about you at all, she'll at least be considerate enough to let you know what caused the sudden change in behavior
Sounds like you dropped the ball somewhere along the way. If youre this broken up about the girl, and think you need her, Im going to guess that you dont have a lot of experience dealing with women.
You blew it. Just get over it.
Odds are you are doing a lot of things wrong and dont realize it. The differences between what to do and what not to do are subtle, and vary from woman to woman. Learn to read people better, and if that doesn't pan out, settle for less. That is the boat some people are stuck in.
The thing about not realizing what you're doing wrong is that you will always think you're doing it right. If I were a fly on the wall, and later on told you what you did wrong, you would be likely to argue with me. You would find a way to justify why what you did was correct. After all, you wouldn't take the actions you take if you thought they were wrong; but if you are not getting the desired results, then you obviously are doing something wrong.
So why does she string you along like this if she's not interested? Because girls are fucking crazy. Some are evil, some are fickle, some are like fire and ice. I dont know what her specific deal is, but what I can tell you is that girls do that.
Lesson #1: Girls are like gamers. You cant give them what they think they want and expect them to stay interested for long.
You blew it. Just get over it.
Odds are you are doing a lot of things wrong and dont realize it. The differences between what to do and what not to do are subtle, and vary from woman to woman. Learn to read people better, and if that doesn't pan out, settle for less. That is the boat some people are stuck in.
The thing about not realizing what you're doing wrong is that you will always think you're doing it right. If I were a fly on the wall, and later on told you what you did wrong, you would be likely to argue with me. You would find a way to justify why what you did was correct. After all, you wouldn't take the actions you take if you thought they were wrong; but if you are not getting the desired results, then you obviously are doing something wrong.
So why does she string you along like this if she's not interested? Because girls are fucking crazy. Some are evil, some are fickle, some are like fire and ice. I dont know what her specific deal is, but what I can tell you is that girls do that.
Lesson #1: Girls are like gamers. You cant give them what they think they want and expect them to stay interested for long.
I do know the make the guy jealous thing, it's normally very simple, but when you add the rest of the stuff she's doing it's a bit confusing. If she wanted me to just ask her out she wouldn't have stopped kissing me. Does she really think that will make me want to ask her out so I can start kissing her again?easternflame said: