Why is bullying still an issue?

[NinjaDeathSlap]

I don't want to sound like the devil's advocate here. As someone who has been properly bullied I despise bullies. However, it is a sad yet unavoidable fact of life that 'bullies gonna bully' and 'haters gonna hate'. It doesn't matter how harsh your punishments are, or how good you are at catching them at it, the douchebags are always going to find a way to torment the weak. In response to situations like this, your only option is to 'deal with it'. When my bullying stopped it had nothing to do with my teachers or parents, and everything to do with my realisation that nobody was going to look out for me until I proved I was both willing and able to (at least partially) look out for myself.

I think it's also important to distinguish between what is actual bullying, and what is just 'boys will be boys' kind of stuff. A lot of cases I know where the word 'bullying' has come up, I've found it to be 6 of one and half a dozen of the other. The accused are indeed taking things too far, but by the same token the accuser is also being too sensitive, sometimes even asking for it. There's actually a lot positive to be said for the more minor stuff. It keeps adolescent ego's in check and stops people from getting too big headed for their own good. It also sharpens your wit.

Bottom line is, you won't find that this sort of stuff just stops when you enter the adult world, so when you're a kid you have to learn the difference between what is real bullying and what isn't, and how to look after number 1, otherwise you've got no chance. That doesn't mean that the bullies are in the right, not at all. But committing suicide, going on a killing spree, or just generally playing the part of the helpless victim that they're trying to make you play, isn't going to win you any friends and it certainly isn't going to make them stop.

 

[BabyRaptor]

Because Humans have an innate needs to pick on the Scary Other.

And then you have people in positions of Authority who actively encourage it. See certain Republican politicians, or groups like Focus on the Family.

It won't stop until people as a collective grow a sense of decency and realize that "different" doesn't mean "bad."

 

[SeriousIssues]

You think they wouldn't love to flip a switch that said "STOP ALL BULLYING"?

 

[Dragonforce525]

Too many parents rely on kids TV to teach moral lessons, but one episode of Dora The Explorer where the lesson is "bullying is bad" isn't enough, my parents knew this and made damn well sure that I knew that picking on others is disgusting, and I remember the conversation so vividly, I was 4-5 and my mother talked to me like I was 30, she sat me down, looked me dead in the face and told me how bad bullying is, why it's bad and why people who bully are bad, she made it seem like if I bullied anyone ever she would lose all respect for me and never forgive me, and I've never bullied anyone and haven't associated with anyone who bullies others.

Now I'm just one guy so can't say if this approach would work well for others, but I know when I have children I'm gonna do the exact same as my mother did for me.

 

[BabyRaptor]

Balls. it DID post twice. Really sorry. >.<

 

[quantumsoul]

If you've any friends that will get your back in a fight then travel in packs you should be ok.

I haven't been physically bullied as it turns me into a beast of pure rage and if bleed I make sure they bleed more. They will only respect you if they have a reason to fear you. Just don't do anything too extreme like using weapons. I'd much rather you not have to ever resort to any violence. Maybe a martial art like aikido would be good. It'll let you take opponent down without hurting them much, if you so choose.

 

[hotsauceman]

I myself think its two things.
1: Bullying and hardships like bullying are still considred part of growing up. You need it to "Toughen up" for real life.
2iscretion cant be emphasized more. You either stop all bullying or none. And just like all crimes are not the serious so is not all bullying. You need to teach the school to differentiate between "Kids being kids" and Life threatening bullying.

 

[Zyxzy]

Because not much tends to get done about it.

I myself think its two things.
1: Bullying and hardships like bullying are still considred part of growing up. You need it to "Toughen up" for real life.

If the abuse and emotional trauma that bullying can inflict is something one needs to get used to for real life, then something is seriously wrong.

 

[darkorion69]

Bullying will never stop. One of the negative aspects of human nature is a desire to control others by asserting social dominance over them. The best you can do is not bully anyone yourself, and if you know any bullies personally, refuse to be around them after telling them that their behavior is unacceptable. Tell everyone else you know to do likewise, and maybe you can eliminate bullying in your life.

 

[hotsauceman]

If its physical bullying? Kick them in the fucking nuts!

If its not physical? Tell them to FUCK OFF! and get on with you're life.

Wow. Where you giving this sound advice when i was dealing with bullies? Surely telling the bullies that have 5 friends and could easily kill and is in all my classes will leave me alone if i tell them To fuck OFF.
Seriosuly. That is a simple minded view. Billies follow you. They dont leave you alone.

 

[Marsell]

and people still blame it on VGss.

 

[John Appleby]

In honestly, I was a bully for quite some time of my life, all i can say is it was fun and made me feel powerful, of course once I stopped I relised what I was doing.... bit sucky yeah but hell, you live you learn

 

[Carbonyl]

Then its natural selection. Might be sick to say, but if they are weak willed to stay down, then STAY DOWN and die.

I am sorry but i feel as if im strong willed enough to go down in a blaze of glory. I'd sooner die trying to hurt the person trying to hurt me before killing myself.

Snake, you have no idea what you're talking about. It's obvious you've never felt so entirely helpless that you shut down and can't even bring yourself to resist believing what bullies say. When you're a kid, no one takes you seriously, no one gives you agency and you don't have any rights. When no one is your friend and no one is willing to back you up, when you don't conform to the normal standard of childhood behavior, your word is a good as dirt. No one listens to a kid and no one wants to. There was no one to help me. I lived in fear. I had no idea why people didn't like me and why they were hurting me and I thought it was my fault because I was small, and alone, and trapped. How was I supposed to contradict a grownup, who could I tell that I was bullied by the people I told on the bullies to? Between the ages of 4 and 10 you have about zero options for escaping that. By the time you get out of elementary school you have been so damaged by the experiences of your formative years that you don't even understand the idea of fighting back, you don't get to fight back, you're you and you're not worth fighting back for because it won't do ANYTHING. That's what you learn. You learn to shut up and sit down and TAKE IT. The ONLY reason I started to fight back was for my brother, I never would have done it for myself. I'm lucky, without that reason to fight I never would have, and I would have been one of those kids on the news.

Kids who are bullied are not the weakest. No one is the weakest and Social Darwinism is bullshit. No one can fight back against almost everyone that makes up their world, especially when they're 6. When the elementary school equivalent of the Third Reich decides you're enough standard deviations from the master race of coolness, no manner of advantageous characteristics will make it better. The problem is, if you get caught fighting back, you get beaten back down by the school or police, you're not allowed to fight and if you do you're the trouble-maker. Words will get you nowhere and you're not allowed to hit.

I had to fight kids on the way home from school, and no one was willing to tell anyone that the smallest girl in fifth grade just beat them and their six friends up. Little girls don't give boys black eyes.

Bullied kids aren't weak, they're afraid, and they're indoctrinated.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Bullying is never going to stop. Its a constant in the world, like war, death, and life. As long as their is bad feelings and hate int he world, there will always be someone insulting another person, or hurting them, or abusing them. Its not going to stop, because you cant tell someone not to hate someone or not to have any bad feelings toward someone.

You just gotta get tough and roll with the punches. life isnt sunshine and rainbows, and not everyone in the world is going to like you.

 

[Char-Nobyl]

At least once a month I hear of a kid killing themself or going insane. Why does it happen? Bullying is the answer.

Well, more for the killing themselves bit. But that's off-topic. Moving on.

I want to ask though WHY DOSEN'T THE SCHOOL GET INVOLVED? I can understand cyberbullying but the ignore button is there for a reason, plus police care more about the bullying online than bullying that happens in schools.

Apparently, my situation still happens to this day. Day after day I was beaten down to the point where I had bruises, a bloody nose etc. The schools response? "We didn't see anything." A teacher actually encouraged me getting beaten. The schools response? "We can't do anything, she's a teacher." What if another teacher saw and we were dragged to the principals office? "Well, the kid with the bruises everyday probably started it so we're gonna suspend him for three days while the other gets a days suspension."

I was with you until that last sentence. I don't really follow the logic that's supposed to be at work, even though I know that you're trying to depict an unfair situation. Is that something that actually happened, or...?

I mean what do you do? Whats it gonna take foor this shit to stop?

Improve school conditions, to start with. As it stands, public schools are getting worse and worse funded and population is moving in the only direction that you'd expect it to in a time of relative prosperity. Beyond that, there's probably plenty more, but I'm rather tired and want to wrap up this post.

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

People need to stop being a bunch of pansies and fight back. I mean what drives someone into suicide or a school shooting spree. Opposed to just closing your fist and smashing the shitface bully in the face. Or if you are too weak, maybe hire someone even. I don't care, but all i know is i do not respect the idiot who committed a shooting or suicide at all, especially over something as silly as bullying.

Worst way to deal with this situation, ever.
Kids minds are not that bloody big, and thus won't be strong willed. And in this state you can be more likely to become a murderer, its just true. You can look at how we tell why serial killers... Well, kill. Many times its something from their childhood.

You spend 8 hours in a room with these bullies, 8 hours with them, and more then likely, the teacher won't stop them from bullying you. So it becomes a personal hell. Kids won't punch a bully in the face because your spending 8 hours in hell, it loses point when you only get two days away from the assholes, then five with them. Its a simple principle, when you are dealing in hell for a year, and have kids fucking with you, one punch doesn't matter because your still outnumbered by bully, and likely, its more then one kid.

Trust me, I bloody fought myself from playing hangman in real life, and it becomes a prison, personal hell. Very few times did a teacher try to help, and very little they did when they did help. I had to get pulled from a school because I was thinking of bringing a knife one day.

What? The fact is, if you are ready to kill yourself. You have nnothing to lose, so why not make the kid suffer who was making you suffer. Beat his skull in with a wrench, maybe even just kill him if you are so inclined to do so. But maybe try to get away with it just for the thrill. Become the joker later in life.

This is to where you just seem idiotic, whats the point, you have about 5 other kids doing the same thing, and when depressed you lose all feeling to do anything. You have nothing to try and explain since you don't seem to care to change. This is exactly why kids suicide or go on a killing spree, because the adults will only tell you to "suck it up" or to "punch them in the jaw" but that doesn't solve the problem, and you already know that you shouldn't do those things.

Then its natural selection. Might be sick to say, but if they are weak willed enough to give up, then GIVE UP and kill yourself.

I am sorry but i feel as if im strong willed enough to go down in a blaze of glory. I'd sooner die trying to hurt the person trying to hurt me before killing myself.

Dude. Snake. Not all of us are badasses, ok?

I, for one, am pretty much a pacifist. I know what pain feels like, and I don't want to make other feel it, because I know it sucks. Plus, if I would have just cracked one of those guys in the jaw, it would just have made things worse. They would have come down hard on me to "show me my place" so to speak.

Fortunately, I managed to pull through. Took me 5 years before I had recovered enough self-esteem to be a normal person. And I still have a few scars in my physche. I'm one of the lucky ones. Violent video games helped me relieve my hatred and frustration during those dark times.

Here's the thing, though...I worry that if I would not have had an outlet at that time...I think I might have eventually snapped, and brought a baseball bat to school and....well...gone to school on someone. And then BAM, I would have been thrown out, my future would have been ruined, I would probably have a criminal record for assault with a weapon, and I might be borderline psycho. Somehow, I doubt baseball bat attacks would be categorized with the "well, our boys are sports guys. They all have their little locker room rituals!" excuse my school kept giving for the shit that went on in there, the memories of which I have repressed.

There's also this thing that you're overlooking. Kids are involved here. Kids are (by default) weak minded, since their minds have not fully developed yet. And this bullying happens DAILY, over a long period of time. This WILL cause the bullying to become ingrained into their minds, since it's so often. Most of the kids that kill themselves just want the pain to STOP, they aren't thinking about the fact that they will die.

 

[snake4769]

People need to stop being a bunch of pansies and fight back. I mean what drives someone into suicide or a school shooting spree. Opposed to just closing your fist and smashing the shitface bully in the face. Or if you are too weak, maybe hire someone even. I don't care, but all i know is i do not respect the idiot who committed a shooting or suicide at all, especially over something as silly as bullying.

Worst way to deal with this situation, ever.
Kids minds are not that bloody big, and thus won't be strong willed. And in this state you can be more likely to become a murderer, its just true. You can look at how we tell why serial killers... Well, kill. Many times its something from their childhood.

You spend 8 hours in a room with these bullies, 8 hours with them, and more then likely, the teacher won't stop them from bullying you. So it becomes a personal hell. Kids won't punch a bully in the face because your spending 8 hours in hell, it loses point when you only get two days away from the assholes, then five with them. Its a simple principle, when you are dealing in hell for a year, and have kids fucking with you, one punch doesn't matter because your still outnumbered by bully, and likely, its more then one kid.

Trust me, I bloody fought myself from playing hangman in real life, and it becomes a prison, personal hell. Very few times did a teacher try to help, and very little they did when they did help. I had to get pulled from a school because I was thinking of bringing a knife one day.

What? The fact is, if you are ready to kill yourself. You have nnothing to lose, so why not make the kid suffer who was making you suffer. Beat his skull in with a wrench, maybe even just kill him if you are so inclined to do so. But maybe try to get away with it just for the thrill. Become the joker later in life.

This is to where you just seem idiotic, whats the point, you have about 5 other kids doing the same thing, and when depressed you lose all feeling to do anything. You have nothing to try and explain since you don't seem to care to change. This is exactly why kids suicide or go on a killing spree, because the adults will only tell you to "suck it up" or to "punch them in the jaw" but that doesn't solve the problem, and you already know that you shouldn't do those things.

Then its natural selection. Might be sick to say, but if they are weak willed enough to give up, then GIVE UP and kill yourself.

I am sorry but i feel as if im strong willed enough to go down in a blaze of glory. I'd sooner die trying to hurt the person trying to hurt me before killing myself.

Dude. Snake. Not all of us are badasses, ok?

Quite obviously i guess, Mad Stalin gets me. Guys honestly, you have to fight your battle, cause batman ain't gonna swoop down and make the bad people go away. And all im saying in a crude way is, you gotta fight. Suicide is not an option, and i share no sympathy to the kids who choose the easy route of suicide.

 

[Loonyyy]

If you try to beat them back a la Ziegrief kid, that doesn't end well. Turns out that when people try to gangbash you, their buddies stick up for them, so punching back can almost get you expelled. Lesson learned: If they can still speak, they can still lie.