Why is it almost taboo to enjoy being alone?

[Moonlight Butterfly]

I hate being around people I'm not comfortable with. My sister, who is an extrovert really doesn't understand this and tries her hardest to make me act more like her. She's not vindictive about it but it can be very tiring.

I'm the sort of person who has close friends but very few of them rather than many average friends. I like being alone and I'm happiest curled up with a good book or a video game.

My best mate and I co op on loads of games but I'm no social butterfly on them.

I think it's case of extroverts not understanding rather than there being something morally wrong with wanting to be alone.

 

[The_Waspman]

I don't have any kind of social life at all. Why is that? Because all of my friends are either married, in serious relationships and/or have kids, which eat up all their spare time.

So if anyone accuses me of spending too much time alone, I will go right ahead and blame them for it.

On a more serious note, I don't see it as a problem really. Sure, I have this empty void inside me, but thats more to do with the fact I am frequently bored. And I don't much enjoy being around other people. Hell, I cant stand being around mself for more than a few hours at a time, so i don't really get how anyone else could either...

 

[someonehairy-ish]

What's your job then, out of curiosity?

 

[wrightguy0]

i'm an introvert, though i'm not above going out to the pub for trivia or to a dinner party with friends, I like getting out, i like having people to hang out with, i just sort of need a certain kind of crowd to hang around with, people who know games and pop culture, geeks to the highest degree, but they're also introverted and are therefore hard to spot

i'm a surprisingly Likeable and Congenial fellow who's easy to get along with and easy to like, i'm not unapproachable, just don't expect me to warm up to you as quickly as others would, and i'm much more comfortable typing my conversations than talking, though once i'm comfortable around new people they find me to be a verbose individual and a voracious conversationalist.

So i prefer my alone time and despise wasteful disturbances, i'm not the only man who would rather read a good book than go to the latest jersey shore imitation nightclub.

 

[someonehairy-ish]

I know both unsociable and sociable people who are assholes
I know both unsociable and sociable people who are pleasant

As long as you're not in the first group, you're fine.

I personally like to keep most of my time to myself. I still find that I have enough good friends to stay happy.

 

[Dubiousduke]

I've never seen anyone being insulted for enjoying their own company. In your examples it seems the people are implying not that you've chosen differently than them, but that you're unable to get what they have.

People don't shame virgins because they haven't had sex, but because they seemingly can't get it.

That was very eloquently nutshelled.

 

[Lonewolfm16]

Humans are naturally programmed as a social species. Wanting to be alone is therefore weird. We are also programmed with a fear of those diffrent from us, therefore being a outsider is scary and bad. I generally prefer being along, though I get along fine with most people when I am near them. I just generally like the freedom and calm that comes with being alone and I am largely independent so don't see being with other people as all that beneficial. This has lead to some worry of-course.

 

[GraegoriHauss]

Bragging about having more friends is basically bragging about having more people to talk about the same god damn things with; week after week, the same.

Excuse me if I only have one person to talk about the weather with, as opposed to 10. You ignorant fucks. Society used to be about who you are, not who you know.

 

[KerryBamBerry]

Dont worry, I hear this a lot too. Nothing wrong with enjoying your own company

 

[Violator[xL]]

It's not a taboo? How in the hell do people come up with this stuff?

 

[The Night Shade]

I like to hang out with my friends but sometimes you just want to stay home and watch a movie, I also don't like to go to parties with my friends to much i rather hang out in their houses.

 

[Coffeejack]

I have learned to respect introverts more because the ones I have met tend to be quiet, well-spoken and intelligent. Their actions are careful and deliberate, whereas I keep seeing and hearing about how the stupidest and most destructive aspects of human behaviour come out when people act with a group mentality.

People (young and old) on a lot of the forums I visit are beginning to complain that people just can't leave them "the f*** alone". We're pressured into 'joining in' constantly by invasive advertising and even our own neighbours now. Resist. Don't let yourself be pressured into being something you're not. With any luck, people around you will come to learn a quiet dignity and intelligence from your example. After all, the less time you spend drinking at social events, the more you can spend on your own intellectual pursuits.

 

[darlarosa]

Most social interaction is hopelessly shallow. My life has been short, but I have noticed so many "friends" who can't stand each other. People are often false or phony creatures who waste time messing about with facts or emotions or lies. You have to pick and chose the people you associate with. Truth be told too many people consider others "friends" without really knowing them.

I have never had a large group of friends, but I've almost always had one or two. When I have not had many friends it is because the people who seemed nice were just fake. That and even with the friends I have now while I am an Introverted personality with gregarious tendencies I find social interactions emotionally draining and need a lot of recharge time.

Also tell people who try to assert they have more friends or significant others that having a bunch of apples doesn't mean they aren't rotten. Just because you know a lot of people or consider them friends does not mean your life is superior

 

[Shadow-Phoenix]

You're not alone Op, I've had the exact same phrases thrown at me by my sister and sometimes even my own mother but while I have a roomie living with me and my folks currently I get next to no alone time and you can probably imagine what that does to one person when they don't get to at least be alone for some time to actually think let alone read,game and listen to music in a peacefull and quiet area.

I for one enjoy taking solitude in having my own alone time for extended periods because I sometimes want to be alone so I can do what I want and obtain knowledge without being interrupted and for those that spite others for wanting to have alone time well they just don't quite understand how some humans work at all.

 

[Joccaren]

Why?
Because civilization, that's why. Humans are an inherently social species, and are pretty much programmed to seek out others and form groups - resulting in nations and cities and such. As such, not wanting to be around other people is seen as different and weird.
In this day and age I don't think that holds as much water, but its still ingrained into a lot of peoples minds.
Its also partially because people are ignorant and can't understand someone wanting to live their life differently to them, so they assume that since you're single you're unhappy all the time and keep wanting someone but can't find them, regardless of what the truth actually is.

 

[StylinBones]

Being alone is the best. It's good to be able to entertain yourself, however, you need balance. Social interaction is a part of the human experience.

 

[Davroth]

Western society as a whole favours extrovert mindsets over introverted ones. It gets perpetuated in many ways, too. Like the school system, for example. That said, a lot of really successful people are introverts who learned to 'fake' being extroverted to make it big in the world. Not that that's easy, but it's something to keep in the back of your head.