Why is it when someones relationships (or lack of) go bad, they blame the entire sex

[Corekrash]

Ignorance? Blind Anger? I've known girls in the past who went through a nasty breakup start ranting over the evils of all men as some hideous plague of womankind. Of course, when asked if they thought I was part of that plague, they would quietly refuse, somewhat adding an admittance that not all guys are that bad.

An ugly breakup is rough, but the part that irks me is when those initial feelings of anger stick with a person, and permanently skews their outlook on the opposite sex, really only because they suck at picking significant others. Guys who only date crazy chicks who then complain about how all girls are psychotic really have no right to when they only go after the crazy ones. Sick of your girlfriends paranoia and unexplained sneak attacks of breaking up with you by gluing parts of you together or burning your tv? stop dating those kinds of girls and look for someone who has a chance of being less nuts. Another is girls who only date the stereotypical "Douchebag" guys who always treat them like a home appliance or punching bag. Tired of it? ok, start looking for guys elsewhere who might actually treat you like a fellow person.

Sorry to rant, but this really peeves me

 

[Biosophilogical]

Unfortunately you don't get to do this when your gay.
We just say 'Watch out, all the hot ones are crazy'

I'd assume that would be true for hot people in general [sub]Kidding, of course ... though when I think about it, most of the hot people I know are either arrogant or insane, but not really more than the arrogant/insane people who aren't hot[/sub]

OT: I'd imagine it is a combination of emotional pain and preconditioned perceptual bias. As in, there exists a stereotype for either gender, and there exists the idea that each gender is radically different (more than just physically) from the other. So when you look for people of the opposite sex on a scale larger then you can keep track of to definitive terms (so let's say, 50+ people), you tend to notice more of the people that conform to prior knowledge (like gender stereotypes) than there actually are. When you are in a state of pain, and presumably some level of guilt, the normal response is to hide your pain with anger, so you aim your anger at another possible source of your pain that cannot be related to you; so if you blame women/men in general (and your perceptual bias confirms this to you), then you are essentially blaming something that is exclusive to the other person by virtue of a biological absolute (and absolutes are great for shifting blame, because if you aren't something, then you aren't that something, period. There is no scalar measurement, it is us vs them).

 

[aba1]

from what ive seen this only happens when u are in highschool

 

[newwiseman]

It's not fair but after one of my exes I really cared for cheated on me I found it very hard to talk to any woman without seeing them as evil. I wasn't calling anyone out as evil or griping to my friends but I still saw women as full of malice. It's part of the grief process.

It's like the flu, You get over it.

think about this...

high school girl decides for shit and giggles to accuse a guy of rape just because hes ugly. starts spreading rumors that this guy rapes women. friends doubt him with the female members of the group. no girl even wants to date him no matter what. hes excluded from all social events that his friends go to(prom, dances, class trips etc.). since he never had a proper social life/dating life he cant maintain a successful relationship nor can he trust anyone he befriends. now you tell me its not justified for this guy to hate women

Have we met? You just described in almost perfect detail what my ex did when we were seniors, after I called her out on cheating on me. When my female friends stopped talking to me I started telling everyone "If I've ever done anything to anyone then go tell the police", because for all the rumors she spread no one ever actually accused me of anything. I had forgotten why I felt woman were evil... I remembered the cause but not the why.

Thanks for reminding me, now I feel that hate bubbling back up. Heartless Harpies

 

[Biosophilogical]

Yes, I know people who are like this, even when the guy was obviously a dick to start with.

I have no way to explain it, but I had drawn a conclusion from it. Since everyone seems to feel the opposite after dating someone, then the only way to get a girl to like me is for them to date me.

I actually know a girl who became a lesbian after several bad relationships with guys, but that's probably more to do with psychology than misandry.

HAHAHAHA seriously? She was bi beforehand. People do not BECOME lesbian.

Though people's sexual attractions may be set in stone, I'd guess that it is entirely possible for people to be influenced by emotional biases on a more conscious level. So while a person may be bi and not realise it, they could be emotionally hurt by guys on a fairly large and consistent level, which makes her view men in a far more negative light, meaning that she instinctively represses any sexual urges she feels towards men. Similarly, there is a difference between being gay as a result of your sexual orientation, and 'going gay', which is more about the emotional aspect of it creating a love attraction to the person, rather than a sexual attraction to their image (you may have found 'the perfect person' of the same sex, and while you may not have a basic sexual attraction to them, your own emotional bias can make up for it[footnote]Though in order for someone to completely override your sex-drive would mean that they'd have to be damn-spanking perfect in every way, or the other sex has being soiled for you, creating a sort of 'attraction shift', where it is a relative attraction[footnote]Which does lead into the idea of the scalar sexuality, as in "Everyone has some degree of attraction to both sexes". So you may have only the tiniest attraction to your own sex, but after your experiences with the opposite sex, your own emotional bias adds to it[/footnote][/footnote]).

So there is a difference between being gay because that's who you are, and 'going gay', where there isn't a sexual attraction, but you are emotionally attached to them (after all, straight guys could have sex with a man even if they didn't feel attracted to him. There isn't some physical obstruction that is going to stop a guy from sticking his dick in another dude)

 

[ObjectiveReality]

It's a quirk of the way that we learn. Humans tend to be a bit over zealous with our pattern recognition for survival reasons. It's great when it's teaching us not to eat the poison berries anymore, but it's not so great when it makes us equate an entire gender with heartbreak, or an entire nation with cowardice, or everyone with a certain skin colour with *insert xenophobic character trait of the week here*.

Combine this with a culture that's always telling us how incredibly different we are from each other and it's easy to see how the "Us vs. Them" mentality might trigger in someone who is looking for someone to blame for his/her pain.

This, but also projection. If you have a string of bad relationships because (for the sake of argument) you have anger issues, it might well be easier for you to rationalise that "women are overemotional and fragile" rather than admit that you have some character traits that need attention. Combine this with the solid wedge of denial you need to maintain really destructive habits and traits for an extended period, and this gets really likely (and potentially dangerous for your next partner).

 

[SquidVicious]

It's emotion, plain and simple. After a break up you are in a heavily emotional state, especially if you were the one who was dumped. There are differing stages of grief, one of which is anger. You need to have someone to blame and while you already blame the person you were dating, you also reflect on past experiences and draw make believe parallels between what had just happened and what happened prior to that relationship. You see these connections and come to the conclusion that it must be something wrong with the entire opposite sex because there's no chance that there's something wrong with you, because you're perfect.

I know it seems like an overly simple answer but it's the best one I can offer and I think it carries the most weight.

 

[remnant_phoenix]

It's called "scapegoating."

 

[UmJammerSully]

I'm gonna be as blunt and offensive as to say only complete dumbasses do that. Generalizing an entire gender is no different (correction: It's worse) from stereotyping an entire nation or race of people. It's basically sexism.

Fortunatly I don't really know anyone who has pulled the "Why are all men/women cheating liars??? T_T" other than a few girls on facebook who I have now deleted.