Why nerds are unpopular (this is lengthy)
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i think perhaps you are in some cases mixing up a lack of social skills with unused social skills.ravensheart18 said:
i many cases, i know perfectly well how to be a tool pretender relate-able with the native fauna. I just plain don't want to fit in/hang out with people who talk almost exclusively about men kicking a ball around a piece of grass (not to mention an innate interest in the outcome of this), and yet i get blank stares like I'm some sort of retard when i announce something of actual interest, like a breakthrough in quantum computing for example.
Also:
nice deflection on the 3000 post thing.
you would think the game would get in the way of the socializing, what with being unable to hear the voice of people near you.ravensheart18 said:
you would also think people could have fun without inducing harmful amounts of alcohol (IE >0),
but perhaps they are trying to dumb themselves down so the "social events" are more bearable.
ive only ever been in three different schools in my life time (im currently 17) and those were my primary school (5-11 years old) where people didnt care how popular you were.
my secondary school (12-16) where the school numbered a size of 150 pupils and 14 of those were in my year and my smallest class had me, the teacher and two other pupils so there wasnt really any popularity hierachy there due to lack of size and if you tried ostracising someone you would get ostracised by the entire group. that being said i still felt lonely there since there was no one else there that had the same interests as me because music and sports wern't high up on my list of favourite things
now im in a boarding sixth form college (16-18) where since this college doesnt hesitate to kick out failing students its ranked as one of the best colleges in england in terms of grades (96% pass rate in law last year for the lower year with 45% or something like that getting A's for their overall AS year) and this school has anywhere up to 2000 pupils if i remember correctly. im getting B's in my subjects yet i feel like the dumb one here which was the complete opposite in my secondary school since i was always seen as the smartest one there.
afaik there is very little bullying here as well
btw i was in a british forces school in cyprus for secondary and primary school and am in england now
my secondary school (12-16) where the school numbered a size of 150 pupils and 14 of those were in my year and my smallest class had me, the teacher and two other pupils so there wasnt really any popularity hierachy there due to lack of size and if you tried ostracising someone you would get ostracised by the entire group. that being said i still felt lonely there since there was no one else there that had the same interests as me because music and sports wern't high up on my list of favourite things
now im in a boarding sixth form college (16-18) where since this college doesnt hesitate to kick out failing students its ranked as one of the best colleges in england in terms of grades (96% pass rate in law last year for the lower year with 45% or something like that getting A's for their overall AS year) and this school has anywhere up to 2000 pupils if i remember correctly. im getting B's in my subjects yet i feel like the dumb one here which was the complete opposite in my secondary school since i was always seen as the smartest one there.
afaik there is very little bullying here as well
btw i was in a british forces school in cyprus for secondary and primary school and am in england now
Seeing as how you got defensive and not really refute my point, I think you make a good example of what I am talking about. When I say "I know everything", I meant what you know about you and how you are per se than what you know about technology, universe, and who? timbieber?RadiusXd said:
I apologize if you found what I said offensive. That wasn't the intend. It's just like a
mini-game of life like mid-life crisis. People go through that. Doesn't mean everyone does.
So you think that you are unpopular because you have no interest in sports and movies are going down the toilet because they seem to come out of some factory line making the same things? Well, maybe you are not popular because you don't have a good attitude about things and you seem to criticize everything? Everyone has good and bad thoughts with almost everything, pro and cons. But if you live thinking all cons, it gets people down and no one wants that. With a little imagination and a good attitude, you can make mundane, boring things fun. And who doesn't like fun? Just takes effort and attitude.
I... I want to find the man that wrote this. Shake his hand. And give him money.Darkauthor81 said:
Clearly, he's a genius, or at least one of the adults who actually cares about the fact that school makes people miserable.
Not weird, just cruel and hateful pits of hell.Danzaivar said:
OT: I consider myself halfway between popularity and nerd-dom. That being said, I hate school. Both because of the asshats that are asshats, and because of the fact that school forces people to be asshats, including (and something I'm not proud of) at one time, myself.
Really interesting and well thought out. I think you definitely got a good grasp on the two main camps of popular e.g. sports/cheerleaders and nerds but i'm interested to hear what you (or anyone else) thinks are the other groups in a school. I know that at mine we had kids that were essentially mini-thugs who took hard drugs (as opposed to cannabis) and the arty/musician's etc as well as the sort of drifters who went from group to group.
I was fortunate enough to be good at music, drama, languages, history, psychology i.e humanities and I was pretty good at science (particularly biology) and I.T. the one thing I was crap at (and still am in many ways) is maths. I really go blank when I see numbers to the point where I was placed in the bottom set for most of my school career. Not only was I patronised by my teacher but also despised by my fellow students who were not impressed to see a 'geek' in their midst. To some degree though I sympathised with their complete apathy for learning. We had four teachers in our first GCSE year and three in our final, every teacher treated us like we had severe mental difficulties and often just covered material over and over again. All of them truly despised their job and resented being given the 'thick' kids to teach. As such I ended up spending most of my maths lessons catching up on homework from English, reading a book, or writing music. I'm just wondering if anyone else ever felt entirely let down by the system to the point that, despite a desire to learn, you just gave up and did other things?
I was fortunate enough to be good at music, drama, languages, history, psychology i.e humanities and I was pretty good at science (particularly biology) and I.T. the one thing I was crap at (and still am in many ways) is maths. I really go blank when I see numbers to the point where I was placed in the bottom set for most of my school career. Not only was I patronised by my teacher but also despised by my fellow students who were not impressed to see a 'geek' in their midst. To some degree though I sympathised with their complete apathy for learning. We had four teachers in our first GCSE year and three in our final, every teacher treated us like we had severe mental difficulties and often just covered material over and over again. All of them truly despised their job and resented being given the 'thick' kids to teach. As such I ended up spending most of my maths lessons catching up on homework from English, reading a book, or writing music. I'm just wondering if anyone else ever felt entirely let down by the system to the point that, despite a desire to learn, you just gave up and did other things?
I go to a private school, in Australia, so we don't have such a popularity split. I mean, we have the really unpopular people, but there are those who don't give a shit about that and they hang out together, then you have the 'popular' people, who range from athletes to ladies-men to the slightly arrogant, semi-stereotypical black students. Then you have groups like mine somewhere in the middle; very few members are well-loved (we each have our base of hate-dom), but apart from a small group we can all mingle a bit with everyone else. And even though we all hang together, we are all wildly different. Just as a small example, in my group, there is me (an agnostic-atheist, insightful, sort of benevolent nerd), one of my best friends (an artistic rugby player, also the greatest ladies man in the school, and smart but lazy, as in, he understands even the hardest concepts I can think of when he tries, but he normally doesn't), my Anglican friend (he's agnostic anglican, and we frequently discuss philosophical and relgious topics in great depth), and aother one of my friends doesn't get involved in anything in school (except I think cricket ... maybe), he isn't good at academics and his sense of homour is entirely different to mine. That is only four out of about twelve, so yeah, the class system in my school seems to have malfunctioned some time during the late eighties.
Agreed on that. I mean I have nerdy tendencies, but Im friends with people from every clique, even the 'popular' ones. Actually, im not really friends with the nerd 'clique', and do you know why? They just bore me with their constant talk about video games. Yes i like them to, but honestly shut he fuck up.ravensheart18 said:
Also, I really think people should just shut up about stuff like 'cool people' and drinking. Don't act so high and mighty, what about you try it just once for fucks sake before you start whaling on about how much you hate social interaction.
Yeah, rant over. Rage just builds every time I read a nerdy comment here
Edit: Also, when I was reading a psychology book, I read that business success is very heavily influenced by how good you are at social interactions. Just saying, it isnt all smarts.
I was in public school until 9th grade so I did experience some public high school. At that point I did realize that socializing and all the extra bells and whistles of popularity was just too much. I had tried to be popular like my brothers but by the time I reached high school I noticed that I didnt want to do what they was doing and that a number of the popular people were not all that intelligent. It wasnt till i went to a private school that I gained popularity but that was really only because of my gf, then football. But all in all I would agree with this almost 100%. My brothers (though step legally) seemed to naturally have the charisma to be popular and myself I was too interested i books.
Also BEJEEZUS MOUNTAIN OF TEXT, I finished it but damn that it one long post for a forum.
Also BEJEEZUS MOUNTAIN OF TEXT, I finished it but damn that it one long post for a forum.
For every single point made in this essay, I thought of a real life experience I encountered.
That is no coincidence.
Bravo.
That is no coincidence.
Bravo.
I was sort after a lot, even chased after school & beaten to the point of cuts, or, unable to move on the ground for a few hours. Purely because I was a nerd/geek/unpopular.
This wasn't gender specific at my school. Both male and females were attacked by other male and females. We couldn't fight back because they'd wait until you were alone. If you told they'd just get you worse. They were also always in a gang.
Oddly enough, not one of them [6 years on] has an education that will ever earn them more than 25K while some companies I've been applying for start at 28. =] pwned in the long run.
-- Incidentally, I'm now bigger than the majority of them. Gave them a ruddy good hiding when they tried it on as if we were still in school, in the pub 2 years ago. XD
This wasn't gender specific at my school. Both male and females were attacked by other male and females. We couldn't fight back because they'd wait until you were alone. If you told they'd just get you worse. They were also always in a gang.
Oddly enough, not one of them [6 years on] has an education that will ever earn them more than 25K while some companies I've been applying for start at 28. =] pwned in the long run.
-- Incidentally, I'm now bigger than the majority of them. Gave them a ruddy good hiding when they tried it on as if we were still in school, in the pub 2 years ago. XD
British, not American, but that was a fantastic read none the less. While I think, from my purely 3rd person accounts, that British schools are not quite so bad as US ones in secularising people, its defiantly still there. You summed it up beautifully.
I think Secondary school (our 11-16 education) loses a lot of the bright kids. I think there is also 2 voids within the "nerd" classification thats its very easy to get lost in and not find your way out. If you so smart you finish classwork, and homework, and next weeks class work in one lesson. And where you are good enough to finish all work with ease in a lower class (say set 2 instead of 1) but arnt quite good enough to be set 1, or because you have always been in set 2, you lack the time to catch up to be moved up.
In these casses children are not only left in the school system but they are bored as well. I found myself in the later of those 2 groups in nearly all my subjects. I actually found the height of my popularity (which was never going to be top but I wasnt unsafe for people to talk too) in years 10 and 11, the years that are supposed to matter, because I become so disillusioned with repeating things we did in years 7 through 9 (11-14).
I had a massive argument with my tutor over something to do with college (The payment of EMA if anyone knows what that is and how its evaluated and distributed) that she had got wrong, she refused to mark me present, ever. After that I gradually just stop turning up to school till I could be bothered, which was frequently 12:30, 13:00, which made me one of the bad kids. I immediate became socially acceptable with them, in fact I dare say in hindsight some of them were amazed I had the balls to do it, gaining me a measure of respect, while still being a straight C/B student, making me smart enough to be accepted by both teachers and the smart kids.
I think Secondary school (our 11-16 education) loses a lot of the bright kids. I think there is also 2 voids within the "nerd" classification thats its very easy to get lost in and not find your way out. If you so smart you finish classwork, and homework, and next weeks class work in one lesson. And where you are good enough to finish all work with ease in a lower class (say set 2 instead of 1) but arnt quite good enough to be set 1, or because you have always been in set 2, you lack the time to catch up to be moved up.
In these casses children are not only left in the school system but they are bored as well. I found myself in the later of those 2 groups in nearly all my subjects. I actually found the height of my popularity (which was never going to be top but I wasnt unsafe for people to talk too) in years 10 and 11, the years that are supposed to matter, because I become so disillusioned with repeating things we did in years 7 through 9 (11-14).
I had a massive argument with my tutor over something to do with college (The payment of EMA if anyone knows what that is and how its evaluated and distributed) that she had got wrong, she refused to mark me present, ever. After that I gradually just stop turning up to school till I could be bothered, which was frequently 12:30, 13:00, which made me one of the bad kids. I immediate became socially acceptable with them, in fact I dare say in hindsight some of them were amazed I had the balls to do it, gaining me a measure of respect, while still being a straight C/B student, making me smart enough to be accepted by both teachers and the smart kids.
