Why Should I Feel Bad for Being a Jerk?(A Rant)

[Space Spoons]

If you have to ask if there's benefits, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Don't be a good person because you think you'll get something out of it, be a good person because it's the right thing to do. No, it isn't easy, and yes, it's often a thankless endeavor, but do it anyway. You never know; you might bring other people around to your way of thinking and thus make the world a kinder place in general, and that's a worthy cause in and of itself.

 

[crazy_egyptian]

the best way to deal with it and still get the popular vote is being as sarcastic/sardonic as you possible can and sprinkle in a snide remark here and there but with a smile and a chuckle

people are stupid enough to think you are a funny guy and will love you.

it works for me

This a thousand times. People will not only find you funny and love you, they'll think you're intelligent.

You people are describing me to a 'T'. It still suprises me as to how many people think i'm amazing, funny and original, when I have a stupidly low opinion of myself.

 

[Scuzzymcfi]

It seems that the majority of people on this thread recommend not "being a jerk." And the reason is probably fairly obvious-

People don't actually like jerks.

Now, don't get me wrong, people like to stand next to jerks. But in the end nobody likes a jerk.

I'm not a jerk, or at least I don't think I am, and though keeping my trap shut has sucked some times, I only regret the times I hurt somebody else. Even if they deserved it.

I dunno. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the majority of the population likes a jerk. I don't. And I think you'd like me if you got to know me.

 

[maturin]

I watch assholes succeed around me everyday; they get the girls, they get the trophies, they yell at me and say stuff behind my back.

They don't generally get the real friends.

And why associate with jerks anyways?

 

[hazabaza1]

We're similar. I'd like to be a bit more of a dick but my conscience kicks in.
I like to remove my frustration with a bit of sarcasm, not bad enough to make me feel like a dick, but still insulting!

 

[spartan231490]

I can tell your not naturally a jerk, so don't try to be one. Those who succeed at being a jerk are the ones who have been one their whole lives so don't try to imitate it or it'll turn out wrong. Believe me, I tried it. It is really unfair and you can say you have waited long enough, but it does turn out better eventually. If you just try to be a jerk you'll be buggering this up and whole-heatedly regret it. I know if doesn't help console much now, but it's the best I have to offer.

Disagree. I spent the first 17ish years of my life being the "nice guy", finally got sick of being shit on and stood up for myself. I gained a lot of self respect, and it definitely improved my life. One thing to keep in mind: I only think this works if you contain your douchebaggery to those who deserve it. Then your not really being an asshole as much as you are being expressive of your disaproval.

 

[Dark Knifer]

I can tell your not naturally a jerk, so don't try to be one. Those who succeed at being a jerk are the ones who have been one their whole lives so don't try to imitate it or it'll turn out wrong. Believe me, I tried it. It is really unfair and you can say you have waited long enough, but it does turn out better eventually. If you just try to be a jerk you'll be buggering this up and whole-heatedly regret it. I know if doesn't help console much now, but it's the best I have to offer.

Disagree. I spent the first 17ish years of my life being the "nice guy", finally got sick of being shit on and stood up for myself. I gained a lot of self respect, and it definitely improved my life. One thing to keep in mind: I only think this works if you contain your douchebaggery to those who deserve it. Then your not really being an asshole as much as you are being expressive of your disaproval.

This was based on my personal experience, it's what worked for me. You had a different experience that worked for you so it just comes down to what the people around you are like and what circumstances your in I suppose.

 

[TWRule]

Maybe you ought to reassess your priorities. If your only goal in life is material successes, then yeah, -maybe- it sometimes pays to be a jerk.

If there's a reason why doing good and treating people ethically are good for their own sakes, then maybe the jerks are the ones losing out.

 

[Nedoras]

Don't stoop down to their level. I don't see how winning a stupid trophy or getting "all the girls"(mind you those girls are pretty much always shallow and stupid) is living the good life. After all, being a jerk and picking on people who you think are lesser beings because you have such a high opinion of yourself makes you look like, well, a completely ignorant prick. I've had jackasses like that come up to me when I was in high school saying things like "cut your hair ******"(I have really long hair) or just trying to belittle me and make themselves look good. Honestly I just looked them in the eye and started laughing, following it up with me saying "aww, isn't that cute? it's trying to talk" or saying something like that. Honestly just try to either ignore them, or be as sarcastic as possible to them. I noticed people who act like that are basically never that intelligent and it's really easy to make them look stupid. Just keep your chin up man, that pisses them off the most. Don't let the bastards grind you down ^_^

 

[V TheSystem V]

I've been waiting for ages for this to happen as well. Have turned into an arsehole, but have restrained from being an arsehole to those that don't deserve it. Have been a douche to some of my friends, but sometimes I try and help but end up being labelled a douche (told my friend to dump his somewhat manipulative girlfriend, for example. I regret that immensely due to their reactions). Act a douche towards those who deserve it, but to those who don't, there is no point. They don't deserve it. If you are nice to people and they start walking all over you, however, any form of resistance or saying something they don't like will look douchebaggy, even when it isn't and you're just trying to stop them from doing something stupid. People might start using you if they know you are a nice person who will help in whatever way you can, just be aware of that.

 

[Labyrinth]

This is a tired track you tread, weary from the self-righteous grumblings of disgruntled "nice guys" decades old as they slowly become the "jerks" they so derided. It's not a track you have to tread.

There are not two types of men, "Nice Guys(tm)" and "Jerks(tm)". That particular sliding scale of irritation is not something all people subscribe to, nor is it one I would recommend. I doubt that the jobs, the friends or the 'girls' gained by that behaviour are worthwhile or long lasting. No evidence has suggested to me that they are anyway and I've only met unhappy people who fit into either category. I recommend instead pushing yourself to be a compassionate and conscientious individual, self confident, engaging. It's a better recipe for success and you might just find that you have much more self worth and self respect than you gain from the Nice Jerk scale.

As for why one should feel bad for being a "Jerk" I would say it is because Jerks are unpleasant individuals who do themselves no good, and do no-one else any either. A selfish, self-centred lifestyle which is thankless for all involved.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

The "benefits" you describe are not really the "benefits of being a jerk". They are the benefits of self confidence (or at least seeming self confidence). "Jerks" do not have the monopoly on this. You can be a "nice guy" and be confident and stand up for yourself (and get chicks and be a rockstar or what have you).

I know it's a lot easier to say than to do but being confident is about all you need to have the same "success" and if you are a nice guy to boot you will get that much more respect.

 

[Gigano]

OP

Some measure of self-assertion and a certain ruthlessness against unethical elements doesn't really equal "Jerk"; Just like "Good guy" doesn't have to mean "passive silent doormat" either.

That whole "turning-the-other-cheek" thing is nothing but an invitation to be slapped, and a behaviour which reinforces jerks in a notion that it has no consequences to slap others. I don't see such sentiment as anything to be proud of, really, however much effort and energy it takes to maintain. Just how is hurting while teaching others it's free to hurt "keeping the moral high ground"?

Just be a lawful good Paladin who goes forth and vanquish evil with righteous fury an ordinary guy who allows himself to get pissed at those who deserve it; and show it.

 

[Sarah Frazier]

Being a jerk may give the immediate satisfaction of seeing others react and give you attention now, but over time they either start avoiding you or offer less resistance which gives less sense of fulfillment. Being the good guy may not give immediate rewards, or even any reward that you can directly measure, but people will be more likely to hear your name or see your picture and say "Hey, I remember that guy. They were a great person. I wish I got to know them better." and so the friends you make will be better friends.

Kids and teens tend to not get that and live more in the moment. What are the people doing right to get things now? Usually things that give quick rewards that lessen with time. Be assertive and stand up for yourself and friends (Or those you don't know as well, but who aren't standing up for themselves) but try not to be a complete jerk about it. That will get you noticed. That will get people thinking and talking about you. That will set you up to have solid friendships and praise for being there when times were tough.

 

[Dzil]

Any businessman will tell you that you have to balance the short with the long term. So be good, but don't discard the option to stand up for yourself if someone is hurting you or those you care about.

Girls (and people in general) aren't so much attracted to jerks as they are attracted to confidence. Your average person will follow the lead of a confident jerk before following a nice guy that second guesses himself all the time. It's biological wiring. Some never grow out of it, others learn to respond to the stimuli around them rather than react to it.

 

[Brazilianpeanutwar]

There's nothing stopping you from being an asshole (except the law obviously)

But if you go down the ashhole path eventually you'll look back on your life and see alot of anger and stress.

It might even kill you,then you'd be a dead angry asshole.

And who needs another asshole?,one's enough :]

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

Essentially you can be whoever you want to be in highschool, just don't be weird, fat or wear thick glasses and it helps to be good at a sport.

"You can be any one you want, as long as you want to be like everyone else"

To pretty much everyone: Alright, I've cooled off a little from yesterday, and I have a few points I suppose.

First of all, I know I shouldn't do good for any reason beyond "It's how it should be." But I just find it so unjust that the world promotes asshole behaviour and cuts down the good.

As for if I actually will become a bit more of a dick; probably not, although I will try to have more of a spine

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

You clearly haven't found the balance. You try to be nice to people and the ones who are nice back you make your friends. The dickheads are the ones you be the asshole to, the ones you kick the shit out of for saying things behind your back. Just have to find the balance.

Being an asshole to everyone will get you absolutely nowhere.

 

[macfluffers]

Your personality changes on a reward/punishment system. Letting yourself get angry at things more often will release endorphins to your brain more often, encouraging you to get angry more often. It's a positive feedback loop. It's safer to play the cool guy.

 

[Ghengis John]

Essentially you can be whoever you want to be in highschool, just don't be weird, fat or wear thick glasses and it helps to be good at a sport.

"You can be any one you want, as long as you want to be like everyone else"

That was the joke, incase your sarcasm detector was not active kid.