Why your zombie survival guides are all useless

Recommended Videos
Aug 1, 2010
2,768
0
0
Talk about it not being possible as much as you want. Doesn't change the fact that while [i/]i[/i] will be the brave lone hero, traveling from town to town seeking ammo and shelter while ridding the world of the undead, [i/]you[/i] will just be generic zombie number 8,064.
 
Apr 29, 2010
4,148
0
0
Don't come crying to me when that zombie is nibbling on your face. Because then I would shoot you. Gotta stay safe, you know?
 

Eclectic Dreck

New member
Sep 3, 2008
6,662
0
0
Here we have an excellent example of magic being the easiest explanation for a zombie:

silver wolf009 said:
7: They cannot be killed by anything other than a head shot, not many animals go for the head. And if were talking about traditonal zombies all animals can detect and aviod infected beings and flesh 100% of the time.
By what means is the infection "detected". Moreover, how is this disease able to cross the species boundary for every natural predator and bacteria? How is the infection sustaining cellular function, a necessity for anything beyond sitting around and rotting? There never is an explanation for any of this.

silver wolf009 said:
6: Almost every bacteria avoids zombafied flesh and the few that do have a very slow process because there is so few of them. And even if they explode, that only increases the challange of clean up and as long as the brain works, atleast the head will be a threat.
What physiological change occured to the cellular makeup of each and every cell in an infected person's body that allows invulnerability to such bacteria. Also, how does bacteria "avoid" anything? Last time I checked, they rarely can move of their own accord and even if they can, their motion is best described as "very nearly random".

silver wolf009 said:
5: The cold will not kill them. Instead meaning that it will be almost impossible to find zombies that have frozen until they thaw. This means that if a sector is declared clean, one thawed zombie can restart the outbreak
Celluar damage would result regardless. Sufficient damage would mean that no matter what was keeping said flesh "alive" it would be unable to function. Even a zombie requires muscles to move bones. Unless we want to call upon magic again and ignore the first of many simple flaws with this argument.

silver wolf009 said:
4: Biting is not the only way to infect but it is the most iconic. Any piece of infected flesh can transmit the virus. Even in animals that dont ressurect. Eat a horse that was infected and you will die and turn into one of them. Touch a door knob that an exploding zombie bled on and your little cut or hangnail is the perfect entry point for the infection
Direct fluid contact is still a poor way to transmit a disease, which is what these methods of transmission generally rely upon. Most of the fantastically lethal diseases in recorded history have used vectors that are harder to defend against. Airborne transmission is common enough, as is having another creature as a carrier.

silver wolf009 said:
3: So what if they cant heal, they arent troubled by anyting short of total destruction, unless they have zero brain activity going on they are still going, with out a spine, they'd be crawling. Loose an arm, they would use the other one. Head got chopped off, they still control the head and can still bite. The fact that they dont stop until destroyed makes up for their inability to heal. And if undisturbed, they wont suffer and damage, they will just wait for prey.
The fact is that even if somehow said injuries never result in "death" their existance will inhibit the ability of said zombie to be an effective threat to anyone. Put a round through a zombie's femur and it you'll find it will drop to the ground like any normal person. Damage a ligament in the arm and motion is restricted. Of course, this argument relies on the magical invulnerability I have already lobbied against previously.

silver wolf009 said:
2: So, you underestimate the psychological damage that the sight of seeing your son, your loved one, your mother and father, turn into animals in front of your eyes. That alone would drive many people mad. And even the strongest door will eventually succumb to a relentless assult from hundreds of never slowing, never stopping hits. It would only be a matter of time. Even a sheer 90 degree cliff face could be over come by how many pile up. Hypothetically they would literally bury you.
This argument has a tiny bit of merit, but you'd find that the survival instinct is generally buried deeper than petty emotions. In a fight for the species you had better believe there are people who would get the hell over that sort of nonsense in a hurry. What's more, your argument is based on the assumption that there are unlimited zombies. Last time I checked, there were a finite number of people on the planet. And, if each and every one of those people were hurled into say, Palo Duro Canyon (a canyon system near Amarillo Texas, small when compared to the Grand Canyon) they would not even come close to filling said space. The average adult male occupies less than a cubic meter. Said canyon covers hundreds of square miles and has an average depth of nearly 300 meters. Do the math: 8 billion corpses aren't going to fill it.

silver wolf009 said:
1: Everyone sleeps, you cant shoot in your sleep. Everyone gets scared, no one can draw, aim, fire, and hit bulls eyes constantly, no matter how good a shot. The sheer hoplessness of a world where they have taken over would make many people turn their own weapons on themselves. Not everyone knows that a headshot is needed to destroy them. How many people would aim for the heart only to see them keep going? How many after that would panic and fire the whole clip at the chest in a vain effort to kill them? After that, how many would have their wits collected enough to reload, especially when there are more coming? And how many of zombies would the wasted shots attract?
Humanity has long had a solution to this problem: it's called traveling in a group. Do you suspect that the military operates under the presumption that people can indefinitely avoid sleep, even in crisis scenarios? The answer is a resounding no. Here we have the biggest flaw in the zombie theory that doesn't rely on magic: that people will somehow avoid working together in sufficient numbers such that they can be readily overwhelmed by the realities of the situation.

silver wolf009 said:
My rebuttle has completed. I have poken many holes in your argument Cracked. Good day.
Your rebuttal is based on the presumption of a magical solution to innumerable problems and incorrect and often irrelevant assumptions.
 

Sinclair Solutions

New member
Jul 22, 2010
1,611
0
0
Ah well, I would have killed myself anyways. Nice to know that humans can not fuck up for once and actually get something done.
 

Gonswell

New member
Aug 16, 2010
52
0
0
one thing i never understood about the left 4 dead/ 28 days rage virus is how come the zombies didn't attack each other? i mean if they truly were enraged, why didn't they just get in fights/kill each other? is the virus telling them to get mad at the uninfected specifically? or do the uninfected just have a scent they don't like? i'm confused.
 

Ravinak

New member
Nov 5, 2008
166
0
0
isawdrones said:
Mr. Gency said:
isawdrones said:
Mr. Google said:
isawdrones said:
I'll just give in and become a blob of tentacles like everyone else when Uroboros hits.
i smell a hentai spin off hahahaha *shivers*
I'm sure it already exists. Darn Internet.
Since you imagined it, it must exist.
Indubitably! ...Now I'm curious. *googles*

AH NO! What's really scary is somewhere, someone is gettin' their jollies from it.
Rule 34 never fails, and I am not brave enough to do the search O_O
 

ecoho

New member
Jun 16, 2010
2,093
0
0
ok first off my "zombie" plan also works for say a complete ending of govnments so i think ill keep it around:) Second screw this the animals avoid it the animals may become infected you think killing a human zombie is hard try a grizzly or hell just a dog(they tend to travel in packs:)now your all under the idea that there would be a few hundred hell a few thousand zombies. Let me ask you if you had a virus that killed very quickly and you were say a terrorest would you release it in a small city? no youed do it at the world series,the super bowl, or hell just downtown LA. You would also release it in more then one location in the case of the US the points theyd use would be orlando, New York,LA, Denver, DC, and Atlanta. trust me if you want to use a bio weapion you take out the people best suted to stop it first. If you see a problem with what ive posted please point it out if i find your reasons good enoth ill retract my statment.
 

Malgorath

New member
Jul 13, 2010
155
0
0
I would stockpile supplies, then buy/steal/obtain a large boat and bring anyone I know who isn't infected (without overcrowding or causing supply rationing, of course) and live out on the ocean or a large freshwater lake. Zombies (at least through my gaming and movie experience) cannot swim. So I am safe and would fish for food (And maybe grow a little garden for veggies). I would possibly have to go back onto land at some point for supplies but would spend my time on the water training with my weapons and working out to become a zombie-killing machine!
 

Eclectic Dreck

New member
Sep 3, 2008
6,662
0
0
Gonswell said:
one thing i never understood about the left 4 dead/ 28 days rage virus is how come the zombies didn't attack each other? i mean if they truly were enraged, why didn't they just get in fights/kill each other? is the virus telling them to get mad at the uninfected specifically? or do the uninfected just have a scent they don't like? i'm confused.
There is no explanation given. Without something inhibiting such a response, presumably there wouldn't be many rage zombies simply because any victim of said zombie would be beaten to death.
 

dlawnro

New member
Jul 2, 2010
178
0
0
silver wolf009 said:
This. Also, I believe infected flesh is toxic, so most predators would be killed within a very short time after the infection began. And urban centers would be hell for a zombie apocalypse. So many people so close together, and a mass exodus by car to leave that hell would cause traffic jams that would basically leave people stuck in their metal boxes behind fragile glass where the horde could easily get to them.
I'm not saying it's in any way likely, but if all the pieces were perfectly in place, it could be devastating.
 

blankedboy

New member
Feb 7, 2009
5,234
0
0
K, good to know.
Now I'll continue doing something other than writing stupid, almost fanboyish mega-articles that only about 50 people will ever see.
 

Drazeric

New member
Feb 24, 2010
381
0
0
Hey seeing as i dont think anyone has said this yet....The dead would be coming back to life! After that im pretty sure its not a normal day at the office.