Women and 'sensitive' men

[The Great JT]

Yeah, the original poster isn't a feminist rug-licker or anything obvious...

 

[Collymilad08]

Sorry but so many of the reasons you give for things are basically generalisations, most likely based on what YOU think and feel or what YOU are like.

For example you say that men aren't afraid to "show weakness" in front of women because they don't value their opinion. Ever thought that maybe they aren't afraid to "show weakness" (or be sensitive) because they actually do feel that way and they know some women will appreciate this but they will be berated by men for doing it as it's not "manly" so they hid it in front of "the guys" Yes i know you mentioned this ("Men think that all women are suppose to have a nurturing soft soggy heart, and men will have little reservation vomiting all their thoughts and feelings into them."), but again you are only looking at it from the perspective that everyone thinks and feels as you do.

Your post is full of assumptions about how women and men think and feel, as is mine. What can you do though? You go on with life and you don't pick it apart because at the end of the day, there are a lot of things people just don't know. Its up to each individual person or "couple" to sort all this out.

 

[Boaal]

I try to act much the same around everyone. I am just me all the time, for everybody. And anybody who doesn't like it can go fuck themselves.

 

[DoW Lowen]

You can be a nice guy, women find kindness and consideration attractive. But what they NEED is a man. And a man is confident, assertive and a able to assume responsibility for himself and if need be added responsibility for her when she needs it.

Really? Are you sure? You see, my mum really loves my dad. You can tell. And he's not exactly the most confident or assertive man in the world! What grounds are there for saying that what all (or even most) women look for above all else are the characteristic testosterone markers? And if other factors are more important then does it matter that guys play these mind games, if the majority of women can either see straight through or are unfazed by all the macho bull-hinky?

To respond to the main post: When i was single i would be slightly more willing to share personal secrets with close female friends than with close male friends, maybe in the name of furthering those friendships in a romantic direction. Does that make me manipulative, consciously or otherwise? It's not that my character with either my friends or that particular woman was an act, both of them were the real me. Similarly, can you really expect a jock with romantic aspersions to treat the girl of his dreams like another jock? In reality i think people behave differently around anyone, and the accusations depend on whether the two groups being considered are males and females, locals and foreigners or co-workers and bosses.

I'm not going to make any presumptions, so I'm just going to ask. Would you say you're mother is an assertive person, or would you at least say she's the more assertive person in the relationship? I never said ALL women need to look for those above qualities, but it has been shown that women generally prefer two things - health and security. And the male archetype that I speak of are more likely to provide both.

 

[konkwastaken]

I wouldn't open up to many men just as i wouldn't sneak up behind many girls and slap them in the face as a HILARIOUS joke.

Maybe men feel more comfortable telling women their problems/worries etc etc because they know they won't be judged a pussy little ***** for it?

 

[Tanequil84]

I'm not going to make any presumptions, so I'm just going to ask. Would you say you're mother is an assertive person, or would you at least say she's the more assertive person in the relationship? I never said ALL women need to look for those above qualities, but it has been shown that women generally prefer two things - health and security. And the male archetype that I speak of are more likely to provide both.

My mother's fairly assertive, certainly the more assertive in that relationship. I think it's something she's picked up from first teaching then lecturing at a university. I don't know, maybe i have a skewed perspective. I've been very lucky, brought up in pretty good neighbourhoods and let into a nice university. Most of the girls i've met have been rising through the academic process and making lives for themselves, maybe that's what makes the difference.

I just can't mesh the idea of the "evolutionary" approach to dating with my experiences of how girls choose their parteners. Sure there's a lot of very basic psychology that kicks off when a group contains guys and girls, but when they're seriously considering whether to go out with someone the girls seem to be a bit more savvy than that.

Now when you say women prefer health and security, how do you mean that? Yes the traditional alpha-male is in the best position to ensure a woman is healthy and safe, but that assumes that the woman needs them provided for her. If she can provide these things for herself then what cause is there for her to seek their provision from a prospective partner? I'm just saying that those may be factors that affect what women look for in a man, but nowadays with so many other factors available to consider and so much less emphasis on men doing all the providing i'd question whether they're still significantly dominant factors.