Words that assure your death in a zombie appocalypse

[FalloutJack]

"I'm black!"

Objection! So was the Dawn of the Dead guy!

OT: "Zombie Survival Guide? Never heard of it."

"But the Guide says we have to... Guys? Where you goin'? COME BACK!!!"

Because if you ever try to apply your nerddom to a real-life imaginary scenario, people will drop you like a bad habit, you'll be alone, and that's how they get you.

(And yes, I do indeed have a copy of the Guide.)

Ouch. Bad assumption is bad. You and I both know that while the book is fiction, it's studying a fictional event realistically. That's part of its appeal. The book is post-modernism at its best. Zombies do not exist, but this is a reasonable do-and-don't guide on how to handle them. In the event of zombies, the wrongful assumptions and bad ploys made in movies won't happen here. It may be the cart before the horse, but let's just say that the cart is ready if the horse ever shows up.

OT: "The authorities will figure this all out, any day now."

Worse assumption is worse. What person do you know in a situation like this ever listens to the guy who actually knows what's going on? I mean, before the guy in the know is dead themselves, and then they're all like "Gee, I guess he was right."

Wrong. The hollywood cliche is just that. A cliche. People hate cliches.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Let see-

"And to think before this had happen I was a few days away from retirement"

"Everyone for themselves!"

"What is a zombie?"
follow up with-
"How do you kill these zombies?"

"The government isn't lying to us!"

 

[SsilverR]

"I don't wanna die!"
"MY GOD WE ACTUALLY MADE IT!!"

 

[Stalydan]

Applied in any situation, not just horror and zombie media.

"I think we lost them"

Just bite yourself right now because you're about to get a whole lot of that in about two seconds. Better yet, kill yourself. EVEN better, don't say the above phrase.

 

[headbanger97]

"I prefer pistols as my main weapon, sure they are slow to load, but they allow me to be accurate. Now it's Zombie mulching time!"

 

[Black Arrow Officer]

"I think we're safe here"

"This barricade should hold them"

"I know exactly what to do!"

"Don't worry, we'll be fine."

"They'll never get us here!"

"I know their one weakness! It's.."

 

[Monty McDougal]

"Hi everyone, I'm the black guy!!"

"What do ya mean I got a cap gun?!?!?"

 

[Emilin_Rose]

"My inhaler ran out"

"here kitty kitty its okay" Made all the more sad that the scared little orange half-grown house cat with the little bell and the nametag reading "Simba, address here, phone number here" is going to get eaten now because he keeps jingling and the zombies will here him no matter what he does, because the human who tried to help him got eaten too and now no one will save him.

 

[Seives-Sliver]

"I need to go save [X] because [X] might be safe at [Y]"

 

[InfectedStar]

"Hey guys, watch this!"

 

[prince_xedar]

"Absolutely nothing could go wrong" is pretty bad Also:
"that was a close one"
"things are finally looking up" or
"I think thats the last of them"

 

[TonyVonTonyus]

Hey, what's that noise? I'll go check it out unarmed without a flashlight and by myself in the noisiest manner possible not paying attention to anything in the darkness.

 

[ThatLankyBastard]

Post what words that if said during a zombie appocalypse pretty much assure that you are going to die

Going to use an example from highschool of the dead
Guy1: Everyone get weapons
Girl: [Snaps end off metal broom making makeshift spear}
Guy2: [Picks up baseball bat] What about you?
Guy1: Oh don't worry I'm a blackbelt

Great show!

But the fanservice... the shameless, shameless fanservice...

OP:

Person 1: "They can't see me... because I can't see them!"
Person 2: "That's because your facing a rock"
Person 1: "Oh... yeah"

...pretty sure that death will come within 5 minutes...

 

[KaiserKnight]

Me "I don't know what kind of zombies I would prefer if an apocalypse were to start"
Random Guy "I've never played a zombie game or seen a zombie movie before"
Random Girl "Remind me to get the hell away from you when apocalypse starts"

Started to play the 'what if' game with some random people at a bookstore.

 

[Galaxy Roll]

"I just took out an entire horde without getting a single scratch!"

If more than 20 meters from everyone else "Don't worry, I'm ok!"

"I think we lost them."

When staying behind in a building loaded with explosives to take down a lot of zombies and give everyone else a chance... Actually any line would get you killed in that situation. "I'M THE SANTA CLAUSE, AND CHRISTMAS IS EARLY THIS YEAR, BITCHES."

 

[Shock and Awe]

"What could possibly go wrong?"

 

[bushwhacker2k]

"I have terminal lung cancer."

This is very applicable because it not only assures death in a zombie apocalypse but in almost any situation imaginable.

Kudos.

 

[TheRundownRabbit]

"I think we've lost em."
Well, almost anything because I think thats a witch over there and she's gonna come at me if I so much as cough.

 

[6_Qubed]

"I'm black!"

Objection! So was the Dawn of the Dead guy!

OT: "Zombie Survival Guide? Never heard of it."

"But the Guide says we have to... Guys? Where you goin'? COME BACK!!!"

Because if you ever try to apply your nerddom to a real-life imaginary scenario, people will drop you like a bad habit, you'll be alone, and that's how they get you.

(And yes, I do indeed have a copy of the Guide.)

Ouch. Bad assumption is bad. You and I both know that while the book is fiction, it's studying a fictional event realistically. That's part of its appeal. The book is post-modernism at its best. Zombies do not exist, but this is a reasonable do-and-don't guide on how to handle them. In the event of zombies, the wrongful assumptions and bad ploys made in movies won't happen here. It may be the cart before the horse, but let's just say that the cart is ready if the horse ever shows up.

OT: "The authorities will figure this all out, any day now."

Worse assumption is worse. What person do you know in a situation like this ever listens to the guy who actually knows what's going on? I mean, before the guy in the know is dead themselves, and then they're all like "Gee, I guess he was right."

Wrong. The hollywood cliche is just that. A cliche. People hate cliches.

People hate fat chicks too, and yet there they are. Your argument is invalid. *monocle*

 

[FalloutJack]

"I'm black!"

Objection! So was the Dawn of the Dead guy!

OT: "Zombie Survival Guide? Never heard of it."

"But the Guide says we have to... Guys? Where you goin'? COME BACK!!!"

Because if you ever try to apply your nerddom to a real-life imaginary scenario, people will drop you like a bad habit, you'll be alone, and that's how they get you.

(And yes, I do indeed have a copy of the Guide.)

Ouch. Bad assumption is bad. You and I both know that while the book is fiction, it's studying a fictional event realistically. That's part of its appeal. The book is post-modernism at its best. Zombies do not exist, but this is a reasonable do-and-don't guide on how to handle them. In the event of zombies, the wrongful assumptions and bad ploys made in movies won't happen here. It may be the cart before the horse, but let's just say that the cart is ready if the horse ever shows up.

OT: "The authorities will figure this all out, any day now."

Worse assumption is worse. What person do you know in a situation like this ever listens to the guy who actually knows what's going on? I mean, before the guy in the know is dead themselves, and then they're all like "Gee, I guess he was right."

Wrong. The hollywood cliche is just that. A cliche. People hate cliches.

People hate fat chicks too, and yet there they are. Your argument is invalid. *monocle*

Number one, that's not a valid rebuttal. Number two, shame on your insensitive self. And number three...

Mine's better. Good night.