Worse dumping?

[ginty2]

A few on here were interesting, but I figured I'd put my own personal trainwreck on display. Sorry about the length.

I have never been ditched before (except once when a girl claimed she did, except I said the magic words "it's over" before three hours of her arguing it, so I give her a moral victory at least), but to most of the girls' various credits, I didn't typically give them enough time. Then again, maybe I did, because after 17 I started the passive-aggressive "be a jerk to make them ditch me to save me some effort" when I wanted to get out. I'm 26 now, and the process is probably too refined to be healthy.

My first few actual "relationship" breakups were pretty mundane. I had the courtesy to meet 'em, told them it was over, whatever whatever. Well, whenever I needed to speed up the timeline to fit a new girl into the works without technically cheating on anyone, I would just give a call (or text, once I joined the modern world) and be done that way. Some of them were more catastrophic and illustrate why I should not be around any self-respecting female, though there are always more willing to subject themselves to it for some reason:

One, I woke up after a nap just after a (what I then considered) long shift at work to a pretty terrible smell floating around my apartment. My girlfriend, who had come in to make me dinner as a surprise, was cooking corn on the stove and put some parmesan cheese on it. She tried to make me sample some when I wandered into the kitchen. I refused, and after her repeated attempts, I took the bowl with a smile... then marched it outside, chucked it into the snow, and told her to get out.

A similar event happened when I was watching a movie and making turtle brownies for another girl at her place. She went into the fridge for something, and apparently noticed I'd forgotten the caramel you're supposed to put onto the mixed-but-not-baked brownies before I put them in the stove, and they were almost done. "Oops!" I said, and held out my hand for the little packet. Well, she made a game of it and said she was going to eat it right then, and made to open the packet, and for some reason this made me blow a gasket. I jumped up, ripped it out of her hands, put the stuff on the brownies, and left, never to return.

A third had this annoying habit of doing some kind of weird jazz hands thing over her face while laughing, which sounded like an irritable pigeon to begin with. I began forcing myself not to joke around her, 'cuz that would make her laugh. I think that ended with a text message.

A girl wanted me to give her the mardi gras beads I had found on her floor, so she flashed me. I'd seen her naked dozens of times before, but the light this time was just right, or wrong, as the case may be; all I could see were the veins throughout her breasts. So I gave her the beads and bailed out.

Another like that. I'd dated this chick for a couple weeks, and was pretty happy thus far. For some reason we never found time alone, and one fateful night, she and I were off work together and a power outage had shut down most of the town, so she suggested we go back to my place. Her shirt came off, I saw her push-up bra had grossly misrepresented the situation at hand, and that was that.

I'm sure there are more, but that's okay. You get the point. These stories are equal parts pride and shame, as they don't allow much closure for the girl. Some are strong about it, others go nuts and stop eating for weeks or whatever. Maybe a slightly less sudden end would be better. As for pride, at least I know I'm uncompromising and won't let these chicks spend their lives with me once I know I don't appreciate them anymore.

Fuck, man you sound like a Seinfeld epsiode!! have you dumped a chick for beating you at chess before??

 

[ae86gamer]

I told a guy he was a douche and walked out of the room. >_> It was the truth....

 

[QuirkyTambourine]

I had this chick that I was on and off with for about a month, and literally ten minutes before I was gonna call her and tell her it was over (I'd found someone far more interesting) her best friend called me to tell me it was over.

I wasn't surprised that she didn't have the balls to say it to my face, or even over the phone, but I also surprised the hell out of her friend when I gave a big WHOOOHOOOO and went on a date with the new girl that night.

The new girl and I dated for two and a half years

 

[similar.squirrel]

She ended it. Which was fine. Okay. Finito.
Then she accused me of stalking her sister instead of telling me that she didn't want to remain in contact.
Also, throughout the relationship, she whined about me behind my back to all her friends.

Think she's sorted herself out now, though. These little incidents messed up a lot of friendships for her.

 

[Captain Pancake]

I got dumped after one day. And the day that it started was on my birthday.

 

[The Rockerfly]

I found them making out...

and to me, I broke up over msn

 

[data_not_found]

My first girlfriend dumped me for a literally retarded guy because he was taller. Even worse, she was my neighbor, so I got to see them walk to school and back everyday. That was I while ago.

After reading some of these stories, I'm considering never getting in a relationship ever again.

 

[RanD00M]

the greatest gaming store ever

What store would that be?

 

[Hikikomori Ookami]

I once got dumped by silence, She didn't talk to me forever, So I assumed she broke up with me. No texts nor nothing.

Yup, I've been dumped this way. Twice. By two different gals. Within a couple months of each other. On two Two different sides of the country.

I've also been told I was too young after we'd been going out for about a month. At the time I was 21 or 22 and she was 24 I think.

 

[teisjm]

Ok here goes.

I sat on the toilet to take a dump, at first it was more like a spray, and then game the dump which slashed into the water with enough force to cause the now fluid-feces-infested water to spray back on me... it hit the lowe rback of my t-shirt for christs sake!

Though it's not the worst i know of... my brother was once so constipated that he passed out while trying to take a huge rock-hard dump... seriously.

while I to this day haven't dared to search it up and watch it, i still think from what i've hard that the infamous video called "two girls one cup" is a worse dump than the above two

oh wait.. wasn't this what we were talking about? Thank god i figured that out before i posted any pictures...

 

[RanD00M]

her reasoning was golden though "Matt, it could never work between us, you're vampire, I'm mage, we're too different, too incompatible."

That is the best reason for a break up i have ever read,seen or heard.

 

[drakenlot]

I've been dumped over webcam. She started making out with some other dude, then said we are through and that she's sorry.
Seriously? You're sorry yet you go on webcam and kiss some other guy?



Worst I've witnessed was my close buddy was dumped at his wedding, she walked in, said she's sorry, then left. No explanation at all.
Couple days later we found out she ended up hooking up with her ex at her bachelorette party.(he was the bartender)

 

[Numb1lp]

No, becuase anime doesn't make me horny.

 

[SmartIdiot]

I once shouted at a girl in front of a load of people at a party for being a promiscuous little whore, then dumped her(for fucks sake she was all over this other guy in the same room as me!). She ran away crying. I got a beer and had a blast with my friends for the rest of the party. Was good.

 

[Gutterslime]

the greatest gaming store ever

What store would that be?

It was a store called toys-n-joys

http://www.toysnjoys.com/

check it out, it is one of if not the coolest store I've ever been in

 

[gidet]

Once through a text message another on yahoo instant messenger.

 

[nWovance]

I once got dumped by silence, She didn't talk to me forever, So I assumed she broke up with me. No texts nor nothing.

Were you sure if she was even alive?

hahahahahahahahaha

 

[Tron900]

my previous girlfriend took me out for breakfast and dumped me over that.....things kinda went down hill after that.....but I was talking to a mutal friend and said that straight after she dumped me see went straight into the arms of her house mate.

I was past caring at this point and moved on, but if I hadn't I'd have knocked the guy out....why?

Cos during my final year at uni, he had a lab bench opposite me, we would make passing "hello"'s cos we knew each other from when I went round to hers.....then he stopped.....

....spineless muppet!

 

[Julianking93]

While on vacation, ex girlfriend decides to break with me by text message.

Text message...what the fuck?