Worst advice ever given to you regarding dating/relationships etc?

[Danny Ocean]

snip

Maybe just a little

But, I know what you mean. I may be a bit too optimistic, but I still think people can be generally good (I more think that girls are typically nicer and less of assholes than boys. I'm a bit sexist in that sense. Funny that I'm sexist towards my own sex) but it seems often times split down the middle when it comes to the dicks and the nice kids. The last time I was in school, every single person was a total prick, while at the school before, everyone was as nice as can be.

Methinks the asshole ratio is about even. Girls are just more subtle about it, and are better at avoiding getting caught, and then the consequences of that. I had a massive chip on my shoulder about this when I was younger. Now I've just given up and decided to try and manipulate their manipulations to my advantage.

 

[Guitar Gamer]

"Just ask her out, worst thing is she says no" from a friend about a friend I fell head over MANLY heels for.
I ignored it.
A few weeks later she hooked up with my brother and got into smoking pot.
But that was because I kept on hanging out with her and was about to make an advance when I found out she didn't like me.

And now we are not nearly as close and she has a habit of being really mean to me.

The worst she can do is say no. one of my testicles is still M.I.A.

in all seriousness "just talk to them" is what I consider the worst advice. If I could fucking do that I wouldn't be asking for advice you twat >_>

I much less profanely concur

I'll have to agrue to the contrary, if you don't talk to her, you have killed off infinite possibilities, if you talk to her, you have a better shot of getting with her.

As for the worst she can say is no bit, I strongly disagree with.

I was being more...............reserved with my advancement, as to avoid that outcome that has happened (i.e a certain awkwardness that has come over our friendship that wont go away)
And yes I must say there is a lot of things worse that could happen than her just saying "no"

 

[MiracleOfSound]

'Girls like sensitive guys, be kind and sweet and give them compliments when you first meet them.'

Fast track to rejection 90% of the time.

Love it.

If I had a dollar for every time a female friend told me "my boyfriend just shit all over me - how come I never date nice boys like you?" only to date another asshole on the rebound... well, I'd be able to pay for a nice shiny new gaming laptop and a hooker to rub my shoulders (or whatever) while I played.

Fortunately I realized that I just needed to be myself, and that I was at least 50% asshole anyway. Things really looked up on the dating front after that...

Ha... that made me laugh

So true, once you stop caring what they think and just act like a selfish asshole, you tend to get lucky a lot more.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

"just be yourself"

nah nah nah, that doesnt work, you have to dole out your crazy in small amounts so as not to scare them off and to keep them from flooding you with their crazy

Scrubs tells it how it is. Honestly the worst ive got is:
"Give her an ultimatum, "do this or il leave you", it makes sense, trust me."

I didnt follow it. It was terrible.

 

[steampunk42]

just be yourself.....ha now you have advice boyo!

 

[Metal Brother]

'Girls like sensitive guys, be kind and sweet and give them compliments when you first meet them.'

Fast track to rejection 90% of the time.

Love it.

If I had a dollar for every time a female friend told me "my boyfriend just shit all over me - how come I never date nice boys like you?" only to date another asshole on the rebound... well, I'd be able to pay for a nice shiny new gaming laptop and a hooker to rub my shoulders (or whatever) while I played.

Fortunately I realized that I just needed to be myself, and that I was at least 50% asshole anyway. Things really looked up on the dating front after that...

Ha... that made me laugh

So true, once you stop caring what they think and just act like a selfish asshole, you tend to get lucky a lot more.

Hey! I never said I was selfish!

;D

 

[Shru1kan]

From my girl friend (notice the space) that acts kind of like Will Smith in that one movie (Hitch?). Basically gives me relationship advice.

She told me to kiss my girlfriend (no space) on the shoulder because that will turn her on. Just don't, all you get is a WTF face.

It's more of a kiss the shoulder then move on to neck and any exposed chest.


And guys.. be nice and sensitive, but let them know right off the bat that you like them in that way. Be assertive, but not overbearing, know when to give up, but know that its not all over if she avoids you right away. So be nice, let it grow, and to avoid the friend zone, just let them know. Don't play grab-ass and then whine when they moved on from even considering you.

 

[Vrex360]

"The key to a girl's heart is to go down on her."

The person who told me this was drunk so I'm prepared to let it slide.

 

[Betancore]

My mother told me never to have sex before marriage, but then said that if I loved him, that I should get pregnant and then he'll have to stay with me forever. And she wonders why I never listen to her...

 

[swolf]

How come single people that has never been in a relationship always insist on giving advice? I don't care how much they THINK they know from watching anime and porn, they have NO experience! It's like having a guy that plays "Tom Clancy's H.A.W.K.S" teach a trained pilot how to fly an aircraft...

I've actually noticed that people with experience failing at relationships all go through the same motions and assume themselves experts, while when I start thinking it's a stupid idea to be dating so and so that they generally tend to explode. Granted, I don't mess with middle ground, but I also generally don't care. The explosion could be interesting.

Haha, I would say that's because they know all the different ways that they fail. At least, that's how it was with me. I've since learned from my mistakes and am now in love, married, and have a daughter.

 

[The Stabilo Boss]

"Girls don't like nice guys"
Guys, let's stop the charade, it's the 21st century(I think),no longer are the days every housewife wants a big strong Sailor who slaps their asses and tells them to get back in the kitchen and make them a sammich. Either most of you have never actually talked with a girl or just think they are some wierd sub-human, the truth is, most girls don't want assholes, really. They usually want funny, charming guys they can relate too. You know what you like in girls(Well most of you), someone you like to be around. Girls want that too usually.

So please, let's stop this "I'm a nice guy! Girls only want douchebags!".

Pretty much this, "be a douchebag asshole and girls will be all over you" doesn't really work. It's a misunderstanding of what women actually want, the so called "nice guys" see a man playfully insulting a woman and think "WHAT AN ASSHOLE! WHY DO WOMEN LIKE THAT? WHY AREN'T THEY IMPRESSED BY MY CREEPY OBSESSION WITH THEM AND THE ENDLESS STREAM OF COMPLIMENTS I GIVE THEM?"

Sorry if that was a bit of a rant, but this really bothers me. A lot of my friends try to pull the "women don't go for me because I'm a nice guy" card, when, in reality, women don't like them because they lack confidence. Cause they keep playing the victim, they never try to learn or improve their skills, and I have to watch them fail over and over again, then listen to them ***** about it.

 

[Soxafloppin]

"Keep your socks on, it drives them crazy"....


..Dammit.

 

[Elle-Jai]

Almost anything from feminist literature, and the suggestion you need to "train" your man like some kind of tame ape.

Yeah, alright, I agree we should be equal.... BUT DIFFERENT. Obviously allowing for individual personalities, I don't think women should force themselves into more masculine roles for the sake of work, while men shouldn't have to feminise themselves for the purpose of personal relationship. JUST LET US BE WHO WE ARE, dammit!

If he, say, fixes whatever goes wrong around the place on a regular basis, or cleans out the gutters (one job I am NOT doing), then I should be reciprocating by doing the vacuuming without bitching. There's equal, and then there's "equal".

OOOH and another terrible piece of advice was that he must constantly tell you he loves you. Why? If he does, he's normally constantly showing it anyway. I've just watched my Uncle get divorced, and he showed his wife he loved her with everything he did. She just wanted to hear it, and her twin sister was reinforcing this ridiculous assumption.

Grow up already, my sisters!

 

[Eggsnham]

Is it too late to comment in this thread? I fear I may thread necro...

Ah, the hell with it.

My friend once told me to be sexual about everything on the first date with a girl, i.e. Sex jokes, sex stories, having a generally dirty mind etc.

His reasoning was that it would open up sexuality in the relationship down the road and make us both more chill about it. I didn't do it because I know that that's just a stupid thing to do and is just asking for a failure of a first date.

 

[Mr Smith]

All dating/relationship advice is bad. The only exception comming from a friend of mine, who said "If her Facebook page reads like a personal ad, stay away."

I know that's not what this thread is about (the complete opposite in fact), but I just thought I'd put it out there.

 

[Mr Smith]

"No means yes!!!"

Yeah.... mace is awful.

Fucking hell...I got maced a few years ago when I groped a girl's tits.
She looked like an emo, so for a minute I thought she'd start crying - when she actually threaten to mace me, I put on my swimming goggles and told her to give me her best shot! Then she took out one of these:

Spoiler

And started chasing me. I'm lucky to be alive...it turned out she was a Napalm Death groupie on her way to an AD&D game. She probably thought AD&D stands for Attack Destroy & Decapitate.
I mean, what were the fucking chances she'd be carrying THAT thing?

Truth be told, she did have a sweet pair of boobies though...

\

Firstly, what are you doing groping a girl?

Secondly, I admire a girl who's familiar with medieval weaponry.

 

[Ironic Pirate]

This would probably work for everybody else, but "Just ask her out".

I started too, blanked, said something about how snowy it was. This was a week ago, by the way.

Now she thinks I'm really weird and won't talk to me.

Fucking yay.

 

[Enigmers]

And I still don't know what you use a fork for!

For tuning, obviously.

 

[Scobie]

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