Worst advice ever given to you regarding dating/relationships etc?

[Jack and Calumon]

"When in doubt, Stick it in."

What the Fu...

Calumon: Now, now Jack, stay calm.

 

[Klarinette]

"I can just sense these things," is a terrible thing to believe, whether they're talking about someone being into you, or it being over (mostly the first one). 9 times out of 10, these people are wrong. That one time, they're just lucky. You're wrong, you don't know what you're talking about, and your intuition is broken.

 

[StarStruckStrumpets]

'Girls like sensitive guys, be kind and sweet and give them compliments when you first meet them.'

Fast track to rejection 90% of the time.

That my friend, is a sure-fire way to head straight into the realm of friendship. You have no idea how many times that has happened to me.

I'm starting to think girls want guys who try to get into their pants...

OT: "Tell her you don't know whether you like her...she'll make an effort then."

I swiftly replied "Screw that, you crazy bastard."

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

"She's just testing your feelings when she says I just want to be friends. Don't assume its over."

Dude, when they say that, its over.

 

[FinalHeart95]

Someone told me to go after someone that I didn't even like so I could "hit and run". That is, get some and then end the relationship. I was about to tell him off, but I simply said it wasn't worth it because it was someone that greatly annoyed me.

He's my friend, but he can be such a fucking prick sometimes.

 

[ICantBelieveItGoesBoom]

From my girl friend (notice the space) that acts kind of like Will Smith in that one movie (Hitch?). Basically gives me relationship advice.

She told me to kiss my girlfriend (no space) on the shoulder because that will turn her on. Just don't, all you get is a WTF face.

 

[hyperhammy]

Wait until you're married to have sex... HA!

 

[Metal Brother]

'Girls like sensitive guys, be kind and sweet and give them compliments when you first meet them.'

Fast track to rejection 90% of the time.

Love it.

If I had a dollar for every time a female friend told me "my boyfriend just shit all over me - how come I never date nice boys like you?" only to date another asshole on the rebound... well, I'd be able to pay for a nice shiny new gaming laptop and a hooker to rub my shoulders (or whatever) while I played.

Fortunately I realized that I just needed to be myself, and that I was at least 50% asshole anyway. Things really looked up on the dating front after that...

 

[cormacdffy]

"If she says no, punch her in the face"

I wish I was fucking kidding...
Needless to say I didn't take the advice

 

[Woodsey]

My older cousin overheard me talking about my crush to my sister. She pulled me aside and (knowing I'm a shy person) said that I just need to "get over being shy, go up to him, and just get in his pants." And yes, she was dead serious.

You know, it's a tempting piece of advice...except that I didn't want to seem like a whore. >.<
And no, I didn't follow her advice. Worst advice ever, especially from your older cousin.

I thought that said crush on your sister - had to read that one again...

OT: My advice and my friends' advice normally extends to "stop being a pussy and bang her". At least we're all equally shit at giving it.

Advice that is.

 

[Kevlar Eater]

'Girls like sensitive guys, be kind and sweet and give them compliments when you first meet them.'

Fast track to rejection 90% of the time.

If you're accepted with that mentality, you'd just end up friend-zoned, which is a hell of a lot worse than rejection.

 

[Valkyrie101]

Be yourself.

 

[hyperhammy]

Be yourself.

Why is that so bad? If you just one to screw someone then it's fine not to be yourself, but if you want a relationship you should be yourself or she'll expect someone else.

 

[thahat]

"There's someone for everyone."


Empty, trite & generally meaningless gesture of attempted sympathy.

no, just simple mathematics unfortunately.
3.700.000.000.000 possible people -roughly- on the planet means half of them will be woman.
if you cant find a girl in 1.85 bilion of em, then i propose you havent seen them all.
keep searching, i wish you the best of luck

 

[Normalgamer]

"Girls don't like nice guys"
Guys, let's stop the charade, it's the 21st century(I think),no longer are the days every housewife wants a big strong Sailor who slaps their asses and tells them to get back in the kitchen and make them a sammich. Either most of you have never actually talked with a girl or just think they are some wierd sub-human, the truth is, most girls don't want assholes, really. They usually want funny, charming guys they can relate too. You know what you like in girls(Well most of you), someone you like to be around. Girls want that too usually.

So please, let's stop this "I'm a nice guy! Girls only want douchebags!".

 

[Emilox The Great]

"type !athkzcxnrsf888824, into the hard drive."

dont ask...

 

[thahat]

'Girls like sensitive guys, be kind and sweet and give them compliments when you first meet them.'

Fast track to rejection 90% of the time.

If you're accepted with that mentality, you'd just end up friend-zoned, which is a hell of a lot worse than rejection.

indeed it is. the trick is to shock em sometimes with stuff they dont expect. keeps em on their tows and on their guard. making them not able to friendzone you XD. dont though, ever think about your moral sense afterwards. ( the trick is indeed always be yourself...but change yourself in slight ways towards the other, they might notice, and go your way ^^

 

[zhoominator]

Well one of my friends has tried to set me up with one of her friends... and I never ever plan on letting her do that again...

Thought I'd also mention something perhaps a little Off-Topic. Ironically, I've heard many comments about guys who want girls being wary not to get into the "friend zone" but I've had experiences of it happening the other way around with a female friend cornering me in my room and asking me out. My first thoughts were "Oh...shit. How will I get out of this one without hurting her". Needless to say I did end up hurting her. Is that's what it's like for girls too?

 

[Chogg Van Helsing]

"Compliment her through the teeth". Just made me look needy. FYI, anybody who doles out relationship advice is just trying to make things harder for you.

hey, i tried to help you guys!

anyway OT...
'just find out where she lives, and then go to her house and tell her how you feel! she'll know that your genuine coz of the effort!'

yeno. i didnt follow that advice from my mother obv lmao. that was quite a while ago now tho lmao. do not follow the advice from your parents! ever! it rarely works out ok

 

[^=ash=^]

Be yourself.

Ninja

But alas, this. Then again I can adapt so maybe myself isn't myself anymore ...