Worst advice ever given to you regarding dating/relationships etc?

[Julianking93]

snip

Maybe just a little

But, I know what you mean. I may be a bit too optimistic, but I still think people can be generally good (I more think that girls are typically nicer and less of assholes than boys. I'm a bit sexist in that sense. Funny that I'm sexist towards my own sex) but it seems often times split down the middle when it comes to the dicks and the nice kids. The last time I was in school, every single person was a total prick, while at the school before, everyone was as nice as can be.

Just depends on where you are, but as I look at the average teen in my town, I lose faith, little by little in my age group.

They seem to be getting dumber and more asshole-ish every day.

 

[A random person]

Not given to me, but treating her as an inferior. The crazier (but surprisingly large) end of the men's rights movement is a goddamn goldmine of bad dating advice involving subjugating or mistreating her.

that could be good advice, some girls are into that.

Perhaps, but they seem to think you should generally be condescending and an asshole. Of course, a good bit of these people seem to take Mystery seriously, so some of it can be chalked up to good ol' fashioned idiocy.

 

[Blueruler182]

How come single people that has never been in a relationship always insist on giving advice? I don't care how much they THINK they know from watching anime and porn, they have NO experience! It's like having a guy that plays "Tom Clancy's H.A.W.K.S" teach a trained pilot how to fly an aircraft...

I've actually noticed that people with experience failing at relationships all go through the same motions and assume themselves experts, while when I start thinking it's a stupid idea to be dating so and so that they generally tend to explode. Granted, I don't mess with middle ground, but I also generally don't care. The explosion could be interesting.

I have managed to get some good advice from people in failed relationships. One was "don't date 16 year olds when you're five years older or more". True voice of experience he was. We've called him Paedophile Paul ever since.

You see, I was the one telling the sixteen year old not to date the twenty year old. Maybe they knew each other! We called her titillating Tylyn, though it probably wasn't for the actual meaning of the word. The fact that I don't know what the word means just adds weight to that probability...

 

[Danglybits]

It wasn't given to me but I read in an advice column someone telling a guy that carrying tampons in his backpack just in case one of his girl friends needed one was a good way to show them he was caring. Or was that his idea? I don't remember, either way there is a creepy dude out there toting tampons to help you.

I knew a guy with an Asian fetish who noticed that a S.K. guy on our hall was always hanging around with other Koreans, many of them females. Some of them very good looking. He decided that he'd put his good tests on the fridge in his room to show how smart he was. "Chicks dig smart guys." Then when this failed he concluded, "Peter always has Korean chicks in his room -- I think you have to be Korean to get Korean chicks." After he kept trying to chat them up said women wouldn't come by the hall any more.

 

[Danglybits]

After my first serious relationship ended, a girl I knew tried to convince me to get back with the guy. Her main argument was that he and I were "so cute together". What she didn't know was that I had broken up with him because he raped me. She didn't have much to say after I filled her in.
Moral of the story: Don't tell someone what to do with their life if you don't know the details.

That's really terrible and she shouldn't have tried to meddle ("so cute together is a really stupid reason on it's own) but how the hell was she supposed to know? Most of the time things aren't that serious. I hope you sought legal action.

 

[Zombus]

"Date as many girls as you can so when you finally date one that you like you know what to do. Even date ugly girls or girls that you hate but date alot and dump 'em quick"

Yay for drunken tools at parties, preaching stentorian from their place slumped on the couch, with a beer half spilled on their face.

 

[Chancie]

My older cousin overheard me talking about my crush to my sister. She pulled me aside and (knowing I'm a shy person) said that I just need to "get over being shy, go up to him, and just get in his pants." And yes, she was dead serious.

You know, it's a tempting piece of advice...except that I didn't want to seem like a whore. >.<
And no, I didn't follow her advice. Worst advice ever, especially from your older cousin.

 

[arsenicCatnip]

My older cousin overheard me talking about my crush to my sister. She pulled me aside and (knowing I'm a shy person) said that I just need to "get over being shy, go up to him, and just get in his pants." And yes, she was dead serious.

You know, it's a tempting piece of advice...except that I didn't want to seem like a whore. >.<
And no, I didn't follow her advice. Worst advice ever, especially from your older cousin.

I've gotten that same advice, ha ha. "Stop being a pansy and go get 'em, *****!" Yeah, no.

The absolute WORST one I ever got was "If he likes you, he'll make the first move. Just wait, and don't be pushy." Ended up with me dating a bunch of assholes and not knowing that the guy I wanted secretly liked me too. Of course, I find this out years later, when we're both dating people (and at the time I learned, I was engaged).

 

[OneKlicKill]

Be nice to girls.

They'll either ignore you or walk all over you. I mean, why wouldn't they? All you're doing is politely asking them for sex.

That just made my day lol, "politely asking them for sex"

hahaha, its one thing to be nice but it sure as hell don't work when you want some.

 

[asinann]

'Girls like sensitive guys, be kind and sweet and give them compliments when you first meet them.'

Fast track to rejection 95% of the time.

Much better. PLus the girls in my neighborhood loves the types the are tough,jocks,bullies and then they get them pregnant and leave them.

And THEN the girl comes to you to take care of the kid.

 

[Hunter6475]

This was a funny moment i remember when I was hanging out w/ my friend after i finished my FIRST date w/ my girlfriend.
Friend: "So how'd it go?"
Me: "Pretty good, looked like she had a lot of fun."
Friend: "No I mean AFTER the date.."
Me: "Oh I just drove her home, walked her to her door and she gave me a kiss on the cheek"
Friend: "Are you serious!?
Me: "What's wrong with that?"
Friend: "You went through an entire date and only got a kiss on the cheek?!!? You idiot! Next time you should go all the way!"
Me: *stares at friend with a "WTF look" and goes back to playing video games*

I'm sure that would go smoothly...

 

[Deleted]

"She put you in the friend zone...
PUT HER IN THE RAPE ZONE"

from your friendly neighborhood Courage Wolf.

 

[General BrEeZy]

Worst advice given to me was "ignore women - it makes them interested in you". Even if this theory was correct, it basically means you have to talk nonestop to girls you don't like/aren't interested in just to keep them at arm's length.

I tried this one out recently (for the sake of experimentation) on a charming young lady I liked. Unfortunately, it completely failed. She was probably uninterested (and thought I was too). Meanwhile her ugly, awkward, albeit friendly, compadres all took a shine to me for being so attentive/listening to them yak. I know I am coming across as shallow, especially as I consider these ladies as friends, but I really could do with them not trying to hug me or offer me anything. They happen to be astonishingly ugly. Worst case scenario, charming girl might try to set me up with one of these women.

Looks like I'll just have to resort to the old trick of clubbing women and dragging them by their hair back to my cave.

boy have i got an internet article for you!
(language and r-rated content advisory, a few f-bombs and sexual references, but probably stuff you can handle.)
http://www.cracked.com/article_18440_6-things-men-do-to-get-laid-that-science-says-turn-women-off.html

 

[Mordwyl]

Girls trying to change you? Is that why this girl has been trying to... Ohhhh.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find the right girl for you." - What I believed was the right girl for me, repeat tenfold.

 

[vento 231]

'Girls like sensitive guys, be kind and sweet and give them compliments when you first meet them.'

Fast track to rejection 90% of the time.

Why does that have to be the truth? I like being a kind person.

Are you in a relation ship still? Not to be rude, but this doesn't really work well for me, I'm still nice, but I'm assertive now, I learned from my mistakes.

 

[oppp7]

"You should try dating."