Worst. Idea. EVER...let's do it!
- Thread starter The Eggplant
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making a firework from:
matches
sparklers
fine sawdust
3 assorted aerosol cans
all placed in a small cardboard/plastic box and liberally soaked in petrol. we then used one of those really powerful laser pointers to light it on fire... and hid behind an old plastic shower door.
the fireball was about 4 meters across and there was shrapnel everywhere. lucky we did it in an old disused farmhouse hidden in our local wood or we coulda hurt someone pretty badly..
matches
sparklers
fine sawdust
3 assorted aerosol cans
all placed in a small cardboard/plastic box and liberally soaked in petrol. we then used one of those really powerful laser pointers to light it on fire... and hid behind an old plastic shower door.
the fireball was about 4 meters across and there was shrapnel everywhere. lucky we did it in an old disused farmhouse hidden in our local wood or we coulda hurt someone pretty badly..
Once went outside and kicked the shit out of a group of guys who were harassing one of my friends. Only realised when I was facing down the last of them that were seven of them. Then he hit me in the balls.
One time in Peru in a small town called Ollytaytambo (or something to that effect) me and the other chaps were looking for a bite to eat. It's a small village, and we come across one food place (not a restraunt, it's literally a room upstairs above the house). It looks a bit iffy...not shady or criminal, just a bit unpleasant. If we'd decided against it, we would have found the wonderful place down the street that we went to the next night.The Eggplant said:
Anyhoo, we went in. We're the only customers, and the floor by the window is covered in bird guano (crap). We order and wait. It takes an hour, and we're really bored, but the starter comes. It's tomato soup. It's nice. Not much wrong you can do with soup.
Another hour, and the main comes. It's alpaca steak (which is normally THE BEST MEAT IN THE WORLD) and chips. Chips are frigid and lumpy, alpaca is cold and tough. It's awful. Another hour. Before the main we were bored, hungry and depressed. Now we're hysterical. We can't work out if we've gone mad with dispair or they've ACTUALLY DRUGGED US.
Another hour. The dessert arrives with the drink (which is a bit useless at this point, who the hell serves the drink with the pudding?!) The dessert is Andean Cream. Never eat it, it's basically watery, thin, REALLY SUGARY porridge. Awful wallpaper-paste type stuff...WITH LOADS OF TOOTH-SHREDDING SUGAR!!
And the drink. It was Papaya Juice. My GOD. It's like...it's like...uh...You know when you're in a warm bath and it goes cold whilst you're in it? Has that ever accidently gone in your mouth when you wash yourself? It tastes like that : tepid bathwater. Warm, but slowly cooling, and with a nasty chemical aftertaste. And it's lumpy, so it's basically cold sick.
On the way out, we're all in tears of laughter as to how bad that was. Then suddenly Elly throws up. We ask him "Are you okay?" and he's fine! He's not ill and his stomach isn't sore or anything! His stomach just flat-out refused to even digest the food!
Later that night, Will was just retching into the toilet for hours on end. Between the coughs, I'd ask him if he was okay. He was also fine, his stomach just wanted to get rid of that awful meal.
...Good times
I was a bookie and racketeer in seventh and eighth grade. Extortion, petty thuggery, intimidation, illegal gambling. Probably a good thing I was (a) 12-13, and (b) the son of a woman who got three-fifths of the school board elected.
Although my mom is partially at fault. After my dad died she dated a degenerate gambler whose idea of "family day out" was to take the kids to the track. That's how I learned all about organized crime in the first place! (almost fucked the guy's daughter too---I was 11 and she was 12---but that's another story.)
Although my mom is partially at fault. After my dad died she dated a degenerate gambler whose idea of "family day out" was to take the kids to the track. That's how I learned all about organized crime in the first place! (almost fucked the guy's daughter too---I was 11 and she was 12---but that's another story.)
...I think you just won the thread. Seriously. I climb onto a bus...you do an impersonation of Dirty Harry...SimuLord said:
There's so many questions I badly want to ask, and just as badly want not to hear the answers to.
I've had it happen to me. Grilled rattlesnake. Try it, they said. It tastes like chicken, they said. You don't look so good, they said. Do you want some Pepto-Bi...oh, shit, he got it all over my shoes!, they said.GrinningManiac said:
Again, wasn't sick...my digestive system just staged a boycott.
Well it's my last weeks at school at the moment, and one of my friends just so happened to have a spanner in his bag. So we've unscrewed a bench, we're still not sure what's going to happen.
But not really old enough to be doing some awesome crazy shit. Can't wait though.
But not really old enough to be doing some awesome crazy shit. Can't wait though.
There is this tradition at my old high school that the seniors take over for a day after their exams are done and just fuck around with the school. So it is our senior year, and there is this hideous water fountain in the school yard, so we found it would be a funny idea to fill the whole thing up with ouzo ( hard greek liquor). 3 hours and a ton of drunk 12 year olds later...
My friend: "Let's jump off this garage roof, it'll be fun!"
Me: "Hmm, sounds like it'll hurt in some way, but sure"
We did, I hit my knees right into the concrete below and he landed flat on his arse.
Another time, same friend:
Friend: "Let's have a luge-race down this road, there won't be any cars."
Me: "What if there are cars then?"
Friend: "There are none, trust me."
I hit a taxi, my left foot was swollen from and including the knee to the hip, into double the normal size, I had trouble wearing normal pants and walked like House for over a month.
Me: "Hmm, sounds like it'll hurt in some way, but sure"
We did, I hit my knees right into the concrete below and he landed flat on his arse.
Another time, same friend:
Friend: "Let's have a luge-race down this road, there won't be any cars."
Me: "What if there are cars then?"
Friend: "There are none, trust me."
I hit a taxi, my left foot was swollen from and including the knee to the hip, into double the normal size, I had trouble wearing normal pants and walked like House for over a month.
Senior Prank, High School. We decided since the AC units in our school were all located directly outside of the classrooms, and for some reason access to the school from the Oceanside (I live on a small island chain) wasn't really well watched back in those days, to stage a mother-of-all stink bombs.
Shrimp, about 10 lbs, in every intake. We completed this overnight, the sunday before graduation.
Only then did we realize how bad it would be. Three wings of the school were closed, and graduation was delayed. Evacuation, incarceration and probation followed (somehow I escaped without any charges filed, and to this day am not sure how). Some of the kids weren't allowed to walk for graduation (but then again, they wouldn't have really graduated anyway, only 72 out of 150 kids graduated that year, thankfully I wasn't among the non-grads).
The other dumbest thing I've been party to, back before Jackass, friends of mine and I did many similar stunts, one such was jumping off a 3 story house into a 20 foot bougainvillea bush. I made it down with no broken bones, but if any of you know the bush I speak of, it is riddled with thorns. I had 3 branches stuck in my back that had to be removed with pliers. THAT HURT.
Shrimp, about 10 lbs, in every intake. We completed this overnight, the sunday before graduation.
Only then did we realize how bad it would be. Three wings of the school were closed, and graduation was delayed. Evacuation, incarceration and probation followed (somehow I escaped without any charges filed, and to this day am not sure how). Some of the kids weren't allowed to walk for graduation (but then again, they wouldn't have really graduated anyway, only 72 out of 150 kids graduated that year, thankfully I wasn't among the non-grads).
The other dumbest thing I've been party to, back before Jackass, friends of mine and I did many similar stunts, one such was jumping off a 3 story house into a 20 foot bougainvillea bush. I made it down with no broken bones, but if any of you know the bush I speak of, it is riddled with thorns. I had 3 branches stuck in my back that had to be removed with pliers. THAT HURT.
My friend lives next door to a house where the owners have gone on some enormous trip or something and the seperating fence has a simple door.
Needless to say one night me, him and two other friends went over there with a can of deodorant, matches and things to burn. Such things included a whopping great toadstool in their backyard and at one point my friend even lit the face of his watch on fire (While still wearing it).
Mind you we did have a hose on us, then the night descended into me using the hose as overkill and us being complete pyromaniacs.
This story's actually pretty tame compared to some stories here.
Needless to say one night me, him and two other friends went over there with a can of deodorant, matches and things to burn. Such things included a whopping great toadstool in their backyard and at one point my friend even lit the face of his watch on fire (While still wearing it).
Mind you we did have a hose on us, then the night descended into me using the hose as overkill and us being complete pyromaniacs.
This story's actually pretty tame compared to some stories here.
Potato cannon. School windows. thousands of dollars worth of damage.
Billboard. Big ladders. Large amount of paint. Large amount of money in damages. Many offended people complaining about the cocks on the billboard the following morning. Fun night out.
Billboard. Big ladders. Large amount of paint. Large amount of money in damages. Many offended people complaining about the cocks on the billboard the following morning. Fun night out.
Let me think of a few. Ok here goes.
Number One- "Hey Will! Eat this ENTIRE Habanero Pepper." I did.
Number Two- What happens when you play catch with a traffic cone? Nine stitches in the head.
Number Three- Throwing a rock into a camp fire. More stitches!
Number Four- My friend had a really mean cat.. he told me I shouldnt pet it. I did, well, tried to. My hand was really scratches up and bleeding afterward.
And finally- Never get dared to run across a driving range. People wont stop hitting balls to let you go.. they hit MORE.
Thats all the stupid crap I can remember, some were lame, yes. But stupid none the less.
Number One- "Hey Will! Eat this ENTIRE Habanero Pepper." I did.
Number Two- What happens when you play catch with a traffic cone? Nine stitches in the head.
Number Three- Throwing a rock into a camp fire. More stitches!
Number Four- My friend had a really mean cat.. he told me I shouldnt pet it. I did, well, tried to. My hand was really scratches up and bleeding afterward.
And finally- Never get dared to run across a driving range. People wont stop hitting balls to let you go.. they hit MORE.
Thats all the stupid crap I can remember, some were lame, yes. But stupid none the less.
"Let's go the McDonald's, ask for water, and then steal some Coke Cola while their not looking!"
Guess what. They were looking.
Guess what. They were looking.
Hoo yeah, done that. The only difference was that the pepper in question was a Scotch Bonnet. Dunno if you've ever heard of them...if you haven't, GOOD. They HURT.Niracas said:
