Worst loading screen-tip

[Davey Woo]

"Conceal your light, like the moon hiding behind clouds" - Tenchu Z
Seriously, what the fuck? How is this helpful!
"Watch out for the drop" - Tenchu Z
What drop? Oh...

 

[Xyphon]

"Conceal your light, like the moon hiding behind clouds" - Tenchu Z
Seriously, what the fuck? How is this helpful!

It means stop running around in a bright yellow suit while screaming "ERDFUHGBNOFSDGHRTGFH'KFGHFDGJJFGJHGSIGHRU!!!!!!11!1" at the top of your lungs.

Put in a simpler way, be more stealthy.

 

[Whodat]

One from Fallout 3 really made me want to hit something. "Mirelurks have plated bodies shoot the face, leg's, or arm's." Thanks because I never woulve guessed their face was weak. I love you Bethesda always looking out for the average stupid gamer.

 

[Magnatek]

Guitar Hero III had one key tip that surprised me:

"All record companies are evil. Except the one that offered you a contract."

I got this right before the guitar battle with Lou. Can you imagine that the one record company that wasn't evil was owned by the Devil? Crazy stuff, Activision. Crazy stuff...

 

[Zombie_Goasts]

Not a loading screen, but every first kill you get on a map in CS:S will earn you a message saying something like: "You killed an enemy! Kill all enemies to win the round."

Really? I thought we had to negotiate with them to end the conflict without bloodshed!

"You have spotted a team mate!"

Oh, so that WASN'T the ice cream man I just was in a firefight with?

It feels like the game thinks I'm retarded.

 

[Aura Guardian]

[HEADING=2]You were killed by a grenade, watch out for the grenade danger indicator.[/HEADING]

 

[AlexTheBucket2112]

"Conceal your light, like the moon hiding behind clouds" - Tenchu Z
Seriously, what the fuck? How is this helpful!

It means stop running around in a bright yellow suit while screaming "ERDFUHGBNOFSDGHRTGFH'KFGHFDGJJFGJHGSIGHRU!!!!!!11!1" at the top of your lungs.

Put in a simpler way, be more stealthy.

NARUTO!?!?

 

[NeedAUserName]

Ahh so thats how you do it... Here I was just throwing the bullets at him, that makes a lot more sense.

 

[Xyphon]

"Conceal your light, like the moon hiding behind clouds" - Tenchu Z
Seriously, what the fuck? How is this helpful!

It means stop running around in a bright yellow suit while screaming "ERDFUHGBNOFSDGHRTGFH'KFGHFDGJJFGJHGSIGHRU!!!!!!11!1" at the top of your lungs.

Put in a simpler way, be more stealthy.

NARUTO!?!?

GAH! I wasn't thinking about him while typing that, but now when I look at it.... I just described him perfectly.

 

[Whodat]

Just remembered another from Fallout. "Centaurs serve as watchdogs for supermutants. So if you see a centaur watch out for super mutants." Thank you for telling me twice, just so i understood. Also theres, "Use Radaway to get rid of radiation." Ohhh, so that what it does... I thought it got rid of radroaches.

 

[Triforceformer]

"if you launch an air strike make sure you are out of the blast radius"
-some game i don't remember the name of

5 bucks it was Mercenaries 2: World in Flames, a game Yahtzee reviewed.

Be sure to take a 15 minute break ever hour.

yeah...

oh i remember that one!

It's on blockbuster game boxes, too.

 

[Julianking93]

"Stay away from danger to regenerate health"

wow, really Prototype?

 

[Rezfon]

I recently played magic the gathering on the xbl arcade. One of the messages on the loading screens said "Don't eat the cards"

 

[Gondito]

"Smoking is a danger to you and and all around you, be sure to use an ashtray"

(Solid Snake flicking the tip of the cigarette on the floor)

WRONG. That is probably the best tip ive seen on a loading screen, they made snake doing the complete opposite of the tip on purpose, just to show what a no-rules badass he is.

 

[RootbeerJello]

I'm not sure what game it's from, but I remember a tip from a crappy game my brother had that was something along the lines of "remember to stop playing for bathroom breaks." And it was dead serious.

-applies palm directly to the forehead-

 

[Ultra_Caboose]

Generally the ones explaining the controls, because they don't change if you remap them. If it doesn't change, then it isn't specific enough to be helpful anyway. (e.g. Press the shoot button to shoot.)


Or- I hate this one...

[HEADING=2]You were killed by a grenade, watch out for the grenade danger indicator.[/HEADING]

Really?? WAS I KNOW?? I never did notice the grenades, or the grenade danger indicator. Especially here on the LAST FUCKING LEVEL OF THE GAME!!
I really thought that message would stop showing up after a few times, but no! Dear god no, it just shoves the obvious into your face every time!

 

[nicholaxxx]

"aiming down the iron sight is more acurate than firing from the hip"

Spoiler: O RLY?!?

 

[phatty500]

"Nobody ever makes the first jump."

Call of Duty 4 after failing to jump into the helicopter at the end of the first level.

yh i found this patronising as well lol

your kidding me. please tell me that im not the only one who got the matrix reference.

 

[L4Y Duke]

From FEAR:

"You can use SloMo to get out of a tricky spot."

Good tip, except 100% of the time I was in a tricky spot because I'd run out of SloMo without being able to take out all the enemies.