Hard Rock Zombies
While watching this movie, audience members might have some valid questions, such as: Why are the movie's main characters all killed by Hitler, a werewolf, a young naked lady and some midgets? Why is half of Hard Rock Zombies composed of video clips taken from earlier in the same movie? Why do some of the zombies move like they're doing the robot, or why did that midget ghoul decide to cover himself with sugar and gradually eat himself over the course of the film? But the most frequently asked question from Hard Rock Zombies' audience is simply:
Why did the creators decide to make the film's main love story about a rock musician and his love for a very, very young girl? Not young as in 17-18. The girl is 15 years old!
Before the main horror action starts, Jessie battles for Cassie's affections while avoiding the wrath of her father, who doesn't approve of the pure love that blossoms between a mulleted, herpes-ridden guitarist and his school-age daughter. This is a sentiment that runs through the entirety of Hard Rock Zombies: The backward, ultraconservative townspeople just don't understand. Why, they're even determined to ban rock 'n' roll music because of its evil influences. But it's hard to sympathize with the plight of rockers when the rock musicians in question are actually raising the dead with rock while banging underage girls.
Much like in Romeo and Juliet, the love of Jessie and Cassie is cut short when Jessie is disemboweled by a fat Nazi with a lawn trimmer (the director's cut of R&J was way different). Since his rock band had already released their zombie-raising musical spell, though, he and his bandmates are able to come back for revenge. But their victims also rise from the dead, eventually leading to a classic showdown between townspeople, ghouls, Hitler and a crippled werewolf version of Eva Braun. Just because.
Luckily Jessie, inspired by the power of his highly inappropriate, illegal love, eventually overcomes his zombieness and kills Hitler by leading him into a gas chamber. The movie seems to think that's some kind of poetic justice, but in reality, it's just ridiculously offensive to all parties involved: Jews, Aryans, war vets, pedophiles. Hell, even the NAAWW (National Association for the Advancement of WereWolves) is thinking about registering complaints.
Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_18776_the-5-most-baffling-horror-movies-from-around-world.html#ixzz17kyKirxK
