Would this kill a zombie?

[qbert4ever]

...and the old Shaolin Spade are the superior zombie-slaying implements if you're foolish enough to get close to them.

See, this is what I don't get. According to the Zombie Survival Guide, a Shaolin Spade is one of if not THE best weapon to use against zombies. My question is: Where the HELL am I going to get a Shaolin Spade? Oh, I've looked in magazines. I've even checked E-Bay (a while ago, but still).

I guess if you're one of the lucky few to live as a Shaolin Monk, you're all set for zombie attacks. But for the rest of us, a .22 rifle is one of the best weapons to use. Light, accurate, easy to find and carry ammo, magazines that can hold upwards of 25 shots, powerful enough bullet to enter the head, but light enough to either shatter or bounce inside causing plenty of brain damage, not to mention all the different shapes and sizes.

Yep. I'll go with the .22.

 

[PatientGrasshopper]

A whackamole hammer?

 

[ZombieFace]

Why waste time with diamond?. An ordinary steel weapon would work just as well.

Agreed. Try a katana or battle axe Dead Rising style. And if that dosnt work get a megabuster that shoots out nerf balls.

 

[ellimist337]

i agree with the sentiment that you should sell the diamond sword. all these diamond and diamond-tipped weapons- imagine what you could buy if you sold a diamond sword, diamond-tipped bullets, and a meat tenderizer with diamond tips. not to mention the others. and all viewers of The Office know that a wooden stake to the brain is the most satisfying way to kill a zombie... the only problem is force...

 

[101194]

I've got my zombie plan, A room in my house with all sorts of fucking guns and ammo that I know how to make and use for the guns, Knifes , fuck loads of ammo, I know how to make all sorts of explosives and have a refrigerator in the room with booze and food (booze to Cocktails) double plated door and a well pumper for freash water. and Two years worth of food. OW SHIT forgot the toilet. Anyhow learn how to make bullets and explosives so you don't HAVE to get hand to hand with a Zombie, Thats the safest way. I know Funny part is half this shits from Y2K. But I like to be prepaired.

 

[Fenring]

When you say hammer I think a large two-handed warhammer. The sword may be able to decapitate the zombie, but the head would still be alive and need disposal later (121 A.D. Fanum Cocidi, Caledonia (Scotland)). A hammer, if used correctly and swung with enough force could finish a zombie in one blow, thus being more efficient as a zombie killing machine.

The other side of this is that a sword is most likely lighter and easier to travel with.

 

[The Wooster]

Okay the way that we kill zombies is by destroying the brain.
So we started talking about weapons that would be most effective against this type of zombie.
I brought up a sword made entirely out of diamonds considering that diamonds are the hardest known material and most likely could easily destroy a skull.
Brandon however said that it was brittle and could not do such a thing and that a hammer would serve better.
So how was right? Me or Brandon?
Which weapon would actually not suck?

Swords and hammers are a bad idea.

For example, go get a stick, now lift the stick into a swinging position. What's left between you and your undead friend? Nothing at all. Swords, knives, anything that leaves you open to being grabbed when you're using it is a bad idea. The best weapon would be, as it's always been, the good old knife on'a stick. It keeps him at bay, while you poke him in the face. Death.

 

[a7r0p05]

Diamonds? Hammers? All I need to slay zombies is my trusty m1911.

 

[Balgus]

Toughness relates to a material's ability to resist breakage from forceful impact. The toughness of natural diamond has been measured as 3.4 MN m-3/2,[12] which is good compared to other gemstones, but poor compared to most engineering materials. As with any material, the macroscopic geometry of a diamond contributes to its resistance to breakage. Diamond has a cleavage plane and is therefore more fragile in some orientations than others. Diamond cutters use this attribute to cleave some stones, prior to faceting.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diamond

steel>diamond

 

[Dread_Reaper]

the hammer. Dimond sword who would come up with that crap. a steel sword would work better than a dimond sword. the dimond would shatter in the first hit its far to brittle.

I still don't understand why people keep saying this. Its made of diamond, one of the hardest materials known to man. Its not going to break. The fact that people still continue to assert to the opposite leads me to believe their brains have already been ravaged by the undead, because they're certainly not functioning.

Now onto the question at hand. You really needed to be more specific about this, because you've left far too much room for interpretation, which on the Internet is like hanging a big sign on your thread saying "I wonder how far off topic this can get". For starters we don't know what style of sword you are wielding or the type of hammer your friend is hefting, and we don't know the mass of the horde we shall be facing off against.

But I digress, let's look at this practically.

A hammer (which I am assuming is a big sledgehammer, because no one is enough of a dunce to use anything smaller unless you plan on hammering nails into their eyes) is ideal because of its greater inertia, meaning it packs more punch into every single swing. Of course since we have been given no indication as to the size of the horde, it is important to note that this weapon will require greater strength to wield and cost valuable seconds between swings. While you could maintain your momentum to a certain degree, eventually you will have to lift it and swing again, and that is when they close in on you. However, it can splinter bone with relative ease, meaning that it is also more likely to disable a foe by smashing its legs, leaving you more time to deliver the killer blow.

The diamond sword, by contrast (which I should note, is a thoroughly impractical notion and is an utterly superfluous addition to an already effective weapon) is better for cutting and stabbing. Is lighter so it can be wielded with greater ease and speed, but deals more precise damage. For some utterly contrived reason everyone is assuming you have to stab its brain or some nonsense, but ultimately all you really have to do is disrupt the flow of information between the brain and the body. Decapitation is a far more efficient method of achieving this than "try1n 2 st4b 1tz $kull lolololz".

However, since there was not sufficient information contained in the original post, the results are inconclusive as to which of you is right and which of you is a moron.

-Dread_Reaper

 

[LucanDesmond]

Why not a normal sword... ya know, made of steel. That would be just fine. You don't need to destroy the brain or the skull really, just cut off the head. Sure the brain is still working its zombie magic, but as long as you don't put any part of your body in its mouth it can't hurt you since all it can really do now is blink and move its jaw.

Two great beads of wisdom from the Zombie Survival Guide:
a) Blades don't need reloading.
b) Use your head, cut off theirs.

 

[LucanDesmond]

I still don't understand why people keep saying this. Its made of diamond, one of the hardest materials known to man. Its not going to break. The fact that people still continue to assert to the opposite leads me to believe their brains have already been ravaged by the undead, because they're certainly not functioning.

1) Diamonds are not unbreakable, they are not invincible. If they were, how would they be carved and shaped into the gems you see on jewelry. They can break even though they are incredibly durable.

2) Weight. Diamonds weigh a lot more than steel. Wielding a diamond weapon of a decent size would be next to impossible unless you're built like a Greek god.

3) Rarity. Finding (or buying) enough diamonds to assemble an average sized longsword would be a DAUNTING task. And then connecting them in a way that they hold together durably... will end up being less durable than steel. If you can find a single large enough gemstone to carve a sword out of... screw making a sword out of it! Sell it for a bajillion dollars and hire an army to kill the zombies for you.

 

[rossatdi]

Despite the fact that a single sword sized diamond is not likely to happen until nano-engineering kicks off...

Still the Hammer. Not only a useful tool but small and light (comparatively). Your best bet is actually a small single hand claw hammer. It doesn't take much to break a skull with one and importantly the claw side will nicely go in far enough to destroy the brain but be easy to remove.

 

[aussiesniper]

Personally, I'd say that if I were in a melee fight with a slow-moving zombie, I'd just want to make sure that it is dead the second I hit it, while keeping myself as far away from the zombie as possible. I'd probably try to get a heavy, weighted glaive for this, but would settle for a decent sword.

Also, as a side-note:

...and the old Shaolin Spade are the superior zombie-slaying implements if you're foolish enough to get close to them.

See, this is what I don't get. According to the Zombie Survival Guide, a Shaolin Spade is one of if not THE best weapon to use against zombies. My question is: Where the HELL am I going to get a Shaolin Spade? Oh, I've looked in magazines. I've even checked E-Bay (a while ago, but still).

I guess if you're one of the lucky few to live as a Shaolin Monk, you're all set for zombie attacks. But for the rest of us, a .22 rifle is one of the best weapons to use. Light, accurate, easy to find and carry ammo, magazines that can hold upwards of 25 shots, powerful enough bullet to enter the head, but light enough to either shatter or bounce inside causing plenty of brain damage, not to mention all the different shapes and sizes.

Yep. I'll go with the .22.

I think that the most effective ranged weapon for engaging zombies would be an L85A2 firing hollow-point (or soft-point, if no hollow rounds are avaliable) ammunition, set to semi-automatic. I don't trust a .22 to kill anything at medium range, and a hollow-point round to the head will be doing much more damage to the brain than a .22 shattering.

 

[Ultrajoe]

Chainsword.

If it works on Plauge marines, it will work on zombies.

W00t! That's what I'm talking about! That or that black and decker alligator lopper, I've got to get me one of those!

*Bows*

When the undead come, go out in style.

 

[kommando367]

in case of zombie attack i'll use this http://media.photobucket.com/image/rocket%20propelled%20chainsaw/ehjay23/1209967329709.png?o=3 setting them all on fire is also an option

 

[Dread_Reaper]

1) Diamonds are not unbreakable, they are not invincible. If they were, how would they be carved and shaped into the gems you see on jewelry. They can break even though they are incredibly durable.

2) Weight. Diamonds weigh a lot more than steel. Wielding a diamond weapon of a decent size would be next to impossible unless you're built like a Greek god.

3) Rarity. Finding (or buying) enough diamonds to assemble an average sized longsword would be a DAUNTING task. And then connecting them in a way that they hold together durably... will end up being less durable than steel. If you can find a single large enough gemstone to carve a sword out of... screw making a sword out of it! Sell it for a bajillion dollars and hire an army to kill the zombies for you.

1) I never said they were unbreakable. Don't put words in my mouth or I'll put spiders in yours.

2) Again, I never alleged otherwise. As you'll note, I point out that actually having a sword made of diamonds in a thoroughly impractical endeavor. My analysis was using just a standard sword, since by its very nature a sword made of diamonds would be utterly useless.

3) Well duh, this is implied. Hence my reassertion that anyone who attempts to make a sword out of diamonds instead of springing for the nearest chainsaw (or chainsword, for my fellow 40K fans) is just asking for devouring.

(A diamond is 58 times harder than the next hardest mineral on earth, corundum, from which rubies and sapphires are formed. It was only during the 15th century that it was discovered that the only way to cut diamonds was with other diamonds. Yet, diamonds are brittle. If you hit one hard with a hammer, it will shatter.)

class Dismissed.

Haha, oh well played good sir, you've certainly got me wrapped up in a cocoon of logic now, except you have missed once crucial flaw in your argument. Yes, if you were to put a single diamond on a hard surface (in this case I am assuming a ubiquitous aluminum table, for fairness sake) and smash it with a metal hammer (which it is also fair to assume is being used), obviously its going to break. That happens with any rock, regardless of its strength. However, if you consider this hypothetical blade is approximately two and a half inches wide and perhaps a quarter of an inch thick, that's a lot more mass to shatter than a single diamond.

Second, consider the force acting upon it. A human spinal column is not going to provide the same inertial resistance as a hard surface coupled with the blow of a metal hammer, especially when you consider that the design of a sword is meant to minimize friction to ease the blade's passage through a substance. Slicing through human bones with a sharpened blade will not put the same stresses on a structure as hitting it with a hammer.

In short, your attempts to lecture me on the obvious have failed. How's THAT for a dismissal?

-Dread_Reaper

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Okay the way that we kill zombies is by destroying the brain.

Which weapon would actually not suck?

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