Would you consider this cheating?

[Thebiggestpanda]

I've been seeing this girl for about a month now and we really click. I was having a good time of it so I decided to ask her if she wanted to officially date. She said no because she was dealing with a troublesome ex and wanted to completely end things with him before she did anything involving commitment. I was cool with this and saw it as an opportunity to ask out this girl who lives down the road from me on a date. We had a pretty good time together and had some fun at my place afterwards. The girl who rejected me finds out about this and got really pissed at me for technically cheating adn that she wanted to date me after she had cleared her other stuff up. I'm telling her that because we weren't official it can't be considered cheating but when I think about it I can't help but feel a little bad. I'm not a fan of cheating and I really do like her.

So my question is this. In your opinions, would you call that cheating? Should I be mad with myself? Her? should I try to work things out?

 

[Nwabudike Morgan]

This is in no way shape or form cheating. She said no, she has no right to be upset.

 

[Hisshiss]

Agreed, she made her choice.

 

[delet]

No, you didn't cheat. What you could do, however, is use this as leverage and tell her something like, "If you don't want me to try dating anyone else, then you should claim me to yourself."

 

[KefkaCultist]

I wouldn't necessarily call it cheating.
Still it was kind of a stupid move because now she might think you would cheat on her if you were actually dating

 

[Sinspiration]

Well honestly it sounds like because you got blown off by one girl you just jumped on the next one. It may not be cheating, but it makes you look like a shameless dog that'll just go for the next girl, and the next, until she's available.
So no, maybe not cheating. But yeah, you should be slapping yourself in the head. Just because you "weren't official" isn't an excuse, especially if you were actually into her and she realized this.

So in my opinion, you owe her a major apology.

 

[grimsprice]

This is why using a label is so fing stupid. You either care enough about some to consider yourself theirs or you don't. If you were willing to fool around with a girl down the road UNTIL this girl officially called it dating then you don't really care about either of them.

EDIT: I'm shocked that so many people don't see how dick move this is. I'm incredulous.

 

[Metzeten]

Probably should have just waited mate...
Still! as others have said, you could use it as cheesy leverage..

Might not make for the best foundations of a relationship though.

 

[Nwabudike Morgan]

In theory, no.

But tell ya what. Ditch the other girl, apologize to the one who rejected you (if you refuse to apologize to women for stupid reasons you will never have a long term relationship) and ask her out again. Its obvious she sees you as relationship material if shes pissed.

No, do not do this, you do not want to be in a relationship with someone who would react like this. She's way too jealous of a person, it will make your life a living hell.

 

[Mr Pantomime]

Tell her you were on a break

 

[burningdragoon]

To answer your questions in order:
No.
No.
No.
Up to you. It's possible there was some miscommunication. One of you may have given off the wrong impression or one of you may have wrongfully misinterpreted the situation. You could maybe talk about it and make sure all things are made clear. If you like the other girl more than go with her.

 

[Olrod]

She told you that she didn't want to officially date you. Remind her of this.

 

[Caligulove]

That's bullshit. Either she's trying to mend an ego that was hurt since she thinks you're not interested anymore, or she's REALLY bad at communication, and she wanted to date and be serious with you, but basically didn't convey that she did want you to be there for her, to wait for her to end things with her ex before the two of you really commit to it. It's not enough for her to apparently think that this was implied or something. It's not.

If this is the kind of trouble that comes up from her own miscommunication when the two of you are not even dating than you should be glad that things aren't working out for you in her department.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

You asked her out. She said no. There's nothing that I define as cheating in there, just jealousy.

 

[burningdragoon]

Well honestly it sounds like because you got blown off by one girl you just jumped on the next one. It may not be cheating, but it makes you look like a shameless dog that'll just go for the next girl, and the next, until she's available.
So no, maybe not cheating. But yeah, you should be slapping yourself in the head. Just because you "weren't official" isn't an excuse, especially if you were actually into her and she realized this.

So in my opinion, you owe her a major apology.

Oh and this is good too.

 

[Dags90]

It sounds like she didn't want to commit to you yet, but still wanted you to be committed to her. That's not really of her fair to ask or to assume is this case when you tell someone "I don't want to commit just now."

Sounds like she wants you to sit and wait by yourself why she deals with her baggage.