Would you remain married to your spouse if they became disabled or deformed?

[HapexIndustries]

Depends. If it was a marriage of convenience (the only type I can really imagine), then yes. I would dump that *****. If it's no longer convenient then time to go.

If I was in a marriage of "love" or whatever... ehhhh... I might put them out of their misery instead. It would depend on the specifics.

If she was so deformed I was no longer able to imagine sex with her I'd try to make it an "open" relationship, I guess. I dunno. Half the reason I'm opposed to longterm relationships is scenarios like this (not deformity/disability per se, but one person changing in a way that alienates the other).

 

[Cavan]

I like how some people(and more will) are white knighting it and saying they'd never leave because their so deeply in love with the person they married....yet completely ignore the fact that if the disability is bad enough the person they married is already dead and they are actually just staying with the person because they still look like the person they married. Or in other words, they are what they rage against: shallow and focused on the physical aspect of the person.

The logic behind this is so twisted I'm honestly having difficulty accepting you could possibly be being serious about it.

You must be trolling..you must be, or else I don't have words to describe it.

You also misunderstand what white knighting actually is, as well as ignoring the fact that although your blunt and if I may say emotionally shallow opinion of when a person is dead to you may infact not be how the majority handle long term commited relationships.

 

[Ambi]

Yeah. They'd be all mine. <_< There's that weird insecure voice saying "maybe they'd love me even more out of gratefulness and think I was so loyal and angelic and I could write a novel about it because our relationship would be so sweet and..." ...No, I shouldn't be speaking like I have control/jealously issues or some weird fetish. Realistically, it would be awful.

I say I would remain married to them, but it depends. Extreme mental illness would be hard to deal with. If they became like that woman, I'd be grasping at every possibility they still have that same intuitive sense of self and depth of feeling, I'd be doing extensive research into what parts of the brain control what, and asking psychologists plenty of questions, doing everything to find out what's going on in their mind. Maybe if I couldn't find out, maybe I'd just pretend they were there...

This thread reminds me of Invisible Monsters.

 

[Macrobstar]

as long as she was still her, I don't know if I could manage a disability where she didn't know who she was, where she was or who I was

 

[moretimethansense]

The logic behind this is so twisted I'm honestly having difficulty accepting you could possibly be being serious about it.

You must be trolling..you must be, or else I don't have words to describe it.

You also misunderstand what white knighting actually is, as well as ignoring the fact that although your blunt and if I may say emotionally shallow opinion of when a person is dead to you may infact not be how the majority handle long term commited relationships.

That was indeed an epic failure of logic, lol.

Then allow me to ask you, what defines a person?

Is it their conciosness?
Their self awareness?
Their personality?

Or is it just the fact that they have a human shape?

To me when thay lose the capacity to think, they cease to be a person, they become a human shaped collection of organs, dead in all but function.

OP
I don't know, if they were brain dead I may leave them, then again I may not, I'll never know exactly how I'd feel in that situation unless it hhappened to me, and I hope it never does.

 

[LuckyClover95]

You marry in sickness and in health, so I wouldn't be happy about it but I'd stay married.

 

[LawlessSquirrel]

It would take a lot for me to do something like that. Having never experienced it, I can't say how hard it is, but everyone has their limits and I imagine I'd have mine. If my significant other lost the ability to walk or lost one of their senses, no question that I'd stay with them and help them through it.

Severe brain damage or a persistent coma with no chance of recovery might be iffy though, as bad as it is to say. If it gets to the point where I'm tearing myself apart to stay with someone who doesn't know if I'm even there, I might get to the point where I need to either make a break or destroy myself fighting it.

 

[similar.squirrel]

I don't know. An ex-girlfriend of mine dreamt that she became paralysed, and that I stayed and took care of her. The story really..I don't know..It made me feel very strange emotionally. It's hard to explain, but I knew that it would be the right thing to do. So I think I would, yes. But sex would most likely be had elsewhere.
Mind you, I don't know about mental deficiency. I'm not equipped to deal with that sort of thing, especially if it's somebody I love. It would most likely lead to suicide.

 

[ThatDudeWithTheCap]

I would always stay married to my wife, no matter what happened, even in the worst case scenario.

 

[octafish]

If my wife was disabled or deformed? No that would be extremely shallow, besides I love my wife that wouldn't change. However, in this sort of case, my wife and I have an understanding, with that amount of brain damage neither of us wish to continue in that state.

 

[Dags90]

So, in your words, taking a knife to a brain dead person is okay? Stabbing them several hundred times in the face is fine, right? What about using them as a sex object? Setting them on fire? Using sandpaper to sand away their skin? Pulling limbs off? Drowning them? Eating them? How about for a spot of fun, a group of people decide to go around finding and beating them? Kinda like a new sport/hobby. A collection of organs has no rights. Say your mother is stricken with one such disability, now that she is nothing but a human shape, dead in all but function, you wouldn't object to someone, say, taking her for their own bidding?

After all, they are just that - a collection of organs now. Right? So there's no problem.

Oh, you wouldn't like that? Interesting. Sort of like how someone would stay to look after their still living partner... I see.

That's hardly an apt comparison. He's saying that brain dead people are essentially dead, and it's generally illegal (and objectionable) to treat a corpse in a such a way. There's no reason to presume he treats dead people differently just because he feels the brain dead are, for practical purposes, dead.

 

[moretimethansense]

To me when thay lose the capacity to think, they cease to be a person.

So, in your words, taking a knife to a brain dead person is okay? Stabbing them several hundred times in the face is fine, right? What about using them as a sex object? Setting them on fire? Using sandpaper to sand away their skin? Pulling limbs off? Drowning them? Eating them? How about for a spot of fun, a group of people decide to go around finding and beating them? Kinda like a new sport/hobby. A collection of organs has no rights. Say your mother is stricken with one such disability, now that she is nothing but a human shape, dead in all but function, you wouldn't object to someone, say, taking her for their own bidding?

After all, they are just that - a collection of organs now. Right? So there's no problem.

Oh, you wouldn't like that? Interesting. Sort of like how someone would stay to look after their still living partner... I see.

well...

So, in your words, taking a knife to a brain dead person is okay? Stabbing them several hundred times in the face is fine, right? What about using them as a sex object? Setting them on fire? Using sandpaper to sand away their skin? Pulling limbs off? Drowning them? Eating them? How about for a spot of fun, a group of people decide to go around finding and beating them? Kinda like a new sport/hobby. A collection of organs has no rights. Say your mother is stricken with one such disability, now that she is nothing but a human shape, dead in all but function, you wouldn't object to someone, say, taking her for their own bidding?

After all, they are just that - a collection of organs now. Right? So there's no problem.

Oh, you wouldn't like that? Interesting. Sort of like how someone would stay to look after their still living partner... I see.

That's hardly an apt comparison. He's saying that brain dead people are essentially dead, and it's generally illegal (and objectionable) to treat a corpse in a such a way. There's no reason to presume he treats dead people differently just because he feels the brain dead are, for practical purposes, dead.

oh, there we go, saved me the effort.

Also, anyone that would treat a corpse that way clearly has severe issues, though I'd feel bad if they did it it'd be about th same I'd feel if they did it to a corpse.
At least I assume as suuch, I can't reaally estimate unless it happens to someone I care about.

 

[Thaluikhain]

I like how some people(and more will) are white knighting it and saying they'd never leave because their so deeply in love with the person they married....yet completely ignore the fact that if the disability is bad enough the person they married is already dead and they are actually just staying with the person because they still look like the person they married. Or in other words, they are what they rage against: shallow and focused on the physical aspect of the person.

Well, how is that different from any other changes in the person?

Though, people get divorced when they get older and their personalities change.

 

[tobi the good boy]

Physical deformity, no never, I wouldn't enter a relationship with a person for physical reasons alone.
however, and this may sound harsh but
If the person was damaged mentally to the point they are nothing close to the person i fell in love with, then probably.

then again i've never been 'in love' so i cant even fully range my responces

 

[TheEvilCheese]

If her mental ability was unaffected, then yes.
If she had almost zero brain function, that would be difficult.

 

[moretimethansense]

-

You value the care of a corpse, not the wellbeing of a disabled loved one.

Note to self: never meet Adam in person.

1. Disabled =/= braindead, and I'll thank you not to make that comparison again.
2. I'd care for a braindead individual at least as much as I'd care for a corpse, though likely no more.

 

[Whateveralot]

...age related dementia because I'd probably assume dating was over for me by then.

You have no idea.

I have seen a LOT of old people get together in a comparable way when they were well over 70-80 years old. People will never stop looking for a partner.