Would you stay in a relationship with someone you loved if there was going to be no sex, garuanteed?
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OP here 
Ive been reading through all the posts, and not many people have stepped in to defend the other side of the arguement. You now, the religious views. I mean, they have an argument too, right?
So here goes I guess:
I think that (and I'm not one of them, I just feel they need someone in their corner) they believe that if you sleep with someone it's like giving yourself, mind as well as body, to them, and you become inexonarably linked in a deep, spiritual way. They believe that this is sacred and should only be kept for the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. I know you miss out on the good stuff earlier, but you then get to just have this one special person for the rest of your life and you and her/he can have this deeper connect. And if it doesn't work out before you are married before the church and state and you leave each other but you've slept together that might take a part of you with them when they go.
That is all, just needed a right hook from the side that hasn't really spoken up so much
OP out.
Ive been reading through all the posts, and not many people have stepped in to defend the other side of the arguement. You now, the religious views. I mean, they have an argument too, right?
So here goes I guess:
I think that (and I'm not one of them, I just feel they need someone in their corner
) they believe that if you sleep with someone it's like giving yourself, mind as well as body, to them, and you become inexonarably linked in a deep, spiritual way. They believe that this is sacred and should only be kept for the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. I know you miss out on the good stuff earlier, but you then get to just have this one special person for the rest of your life and you and her/he can have this deeper connect. And if it doesn't work out before you are married before the church and state and you leave each other but you've slept together that might take a part of you with them when they go. That is all, just needed a right hook from the side that hasn't really spoken up so much
OP out.
Does that make prostitutes the equivalent of Enterprise?MiracleOfSound said:
On topic, nope. Loving relationship without sex is just repressive friendship.
Course, the upshot of being in a relationship with a person like that is that when they do give in, they turn into a depraved lunatic. Which is just dandy.
I am not religious, and generally don't get along with people who are, and therefore am not likely to find myself in this situation. But, if I did, I'd stay with them.
Only problem with it that I can see is that if her religion dominates her personal life that much, what will she expect me to do about her religion?
But yes, I'd stay in a relationship.
But yes, I'd stay in a relationship.
Yeah. If this is someone I love, I'm not going to basically say "fuck that" just because I can't fuck that.
Then again, I hate anyone who disagrees with me, and if they demand marriage, chances are we disagree and I'll have them executed. If it's just no sex for some reason (I.E. there's a bomb in there), that's acceptable. If it's because your god said ""No, ya need a contract that will only end in pain and sorrow before ya do it!" then hell no.
Then again, I hate anyone who disagrees with me, and if they demand marriage, chances are we disagree and I'll have them executed. If it's just no sex for some reason (I.E. there's a bomb in there), that's acceptable. If it's because your god said ""No, ya need a contract that will only end in pain and sorrow before ya do it!" then hell no.
Exactly. Imagine marrying someone for life and then finding out on the wedding night that you have no chemistry... that would be awful.Cowabungaa said:
Unless you're asexual, sex is a vital part of a relationship. Just how vital depends on the person, but it's one of the main points of all relationships. (Find me a person who isn't asexual and is okay with a romantic relationship where they can't even kiss their partner, and I'll give you a dollar)
The way I see it, all relationships are better in some areas and worse in others. This is usually okay, and is perfectly normal. The problem comes when any one vital area is completely gone. Not lacking. Not less than it should be. I mean entirely gone.
If a relationship is completely devoid of even one vital area, things may go fine for a while, but that one problem will eventually lead to a failure and a breakup. You may argue with your girlfriend a lot, but as long as there are still plenty of good times in the mix, the relationship is okay. The second it becomes all arguments, then the communication goes out the window, and the relationship is soon to follow. You can deal with a lover who has a busy schedule, but when it gets to the point where they can't make any time for you at all, the spending time together element is gone, and the relationship is soon to follow. The list goes on.
The sexual element is no different. Not everyone has the same sexual needs as others, but everyone does have *some* needs. If even one such need of one person isn't met for long enough, it will drive the couple apart. I know.
The way I see it, all relationships are better in some areas and worse in others. This is usually okay, and is perfectly normal. The problem comes when any one vital area is completely gone. Not lacking. Not less than it should be. I mean entirely gone.
If a relationship is completely devoid of even one vital area, things may go fine for a while, but that one problem will eventually lead to a failure and a breakup. You may argue with your girlfriend a lot, but as long as there are still plenty of good times in the mix, the relationship is okay. The second it becomes all arguments, then the communication goes out the window, and the relationship is soon to follow. You can deal with a lover who has a busy schedule, but when it gets to the point where they can't make any time for you at all, the spending time together element is gone, and the relationship is soon to follow. The list goes on.
The sexual element is no different. Not everyone has the same sexual needs as others, but everyone does have *some* needs. If even one such need of one person isn't met for long enough, it will drive the couple apart. I know.
It happened to me. My ex was busy, and often cancelled plans, but we were usually able to see each other fairly often. The sexual element was completely lacking though- and I mean completely. We're talking "not even one good kiss, ever" here. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore, brought it up, and got an iffy answer. After that, all the usual crap she did that I put up with before became a source of contempt. Thinking "Oh, she had an important college interview, so I guess I can let her get away with cancelling..." quickly turned into "This is the fifth damn time she's cancelled our plans in a row!", and so on and so forth. There was a breakup soon after. (That being said, even with the passion aspect, I still would have eventually broken up with her due to the putting me and her other friends behind literally everything else, but that's just another example of an element completely lacking.)
In a way I'm in the same boat as her. While I'm not religious, so pre-marriage sex sin thing isnt a problem. Its just that, I'd only have sex with some I truly love. And being 16 there is a difference between, being in love and my dick wanting to bone, something. Hey theats just me.
This, oh dear god a thousand times this. How did you get to be such an epic ninja?!Irridium said:
I agree with this guy. Now, I haven't yet experienced true love, but I'd hope that it's like this guy says.Irridium said:
Well yeah. Sometimes it's not a religious belief but just a choice in morals. If I was in love with someone and they genuinely loved me back, I'd have to respect their morals the same way they'd respect mine. Though if the reason was for religious reason, I may have made a bad choice...
Unfortunately love doesn't always happen like it does in the stories. Holding out for the girl of your dreams is a fantasy. You have to find her, and romance, of which a natural component is sex, is a better-than-most way of going about it.Twilight.falls said:
[EDIT]
My issue is: how do you know when someone genuinely loves you back? How can you tell you genuinely love that person? What is the objective measure of love?VaudevillianVeteran said:
See, if it was as clear cut as I-love-her-she-loves-me-we-will-live-together-happily-ever-after then YES, I could probably put my baser urges on hold for a while. But that certainty tends not to be present in real-life, and when it is, it's based on faith rather than real conviction.
In my experience, the best way to gauge if your significant other is truly significant is to give a relationship time, and develop deep bonds up to the point where your lives truly do depend on each other (*or whatever other vague wording for something indescribable floats your boat*), and IMO sex is a big part of that.. The physical act of love is the ultimate meeting of minds and melding of souls; what other shared experience is more special, or more revealing? And along with other deeply personal things, like sharing money, bathroom, and a fridge, sex helps you truly get to grips with who this other person actually is.
(As a corollary: lust and love are both powerful emotions, and sometimes difficult to tell apart. Especially so when lacking in experience. It's a bit harsh to discover this after being bonded, potentially for life)
If you short-change yourself by putting the cart before the horse and get married in haste, you can set yourself up for a fall (much like if you cram too many metaphors into one sentence...)
[/EDIT]
had a friend who did that, dated for 3 three years and neither of them had any sex. They got married and lets just say its hard to get a hold of him nowadays. its like every waking moment those 2 are fucking like rabbits. XD I guess thats what happens when you get 2 virgins to discover sex together.
So if he managed it i guess i can too. So long as the woman i love isn't a cocktease that is. then thats just mean. playing a man's involuntarily response to sexual stimuli = much blue balls and that shit is painful.
So if he managed it i guess i can too. So long as the woman i love isn't a cocktease that is. then thats just mean. playing a man's involuntarily response to sexual stimuli = much blue balls and that shit is painful.
One word. Divorce.Everin said:OP here
Ive been reading through all the posts, and not many people have stepped in to defend the other side of the arguement. You now, the religious views. I mean, they have an argument too, right?
So here goes I guess:
I think that (and I'm not one of them, I just feel they need someone in their corner
That is all, just needed a right hook from the side that hasn't really spoken up so much
OP out.
Welcome to the real world, much though all of us would bloody love to have "ONE PERSON WE LOVE FOR EVER AND EVER", that shit just doesn't happen, every relationship ends one way or the other, and the sweetest relationship to start with can end up long, bitter and bad for everyone, and keeping it together for relgious reasons just damages you and your children. How do I know this? Experience mate, experience. Sex is healthy, simple as that, "saving yourself" is a feeble excuse, for the timid and the afraid, why is something like that precious, it's two body parts slapping around, not a massive spiritual thing unless we choose to see it as such.
