WTF Australia?!?!?!

[Hazy992]

I'm not going insane because I live on the other side of the planet and I challenge that spider to come survive a Canadian winter.

You know what, fuck it I'm moving to Antarctica. Let's see them get me there!

Spoiler: I think Iv got someone who'd like to say hello

"How y'all doin?"

Say hello to the Arctic sea spider.

OT: Isn't that a Golden Orb weaver? Yea, they're nasty pasties. There was a vid of one of those munching on a birdy not too long ago.

That is not a spider, that is a goddamn Facehugger! D:

 

[Danzavare]

In my twenty years in this country I have been attacked by
-A king brown snake (survival tip 1-thick pants)
-A roo
-An Emu
-A cockatoo (fuckers can bite like all hell)
-Magpaies, lots of magpies.
-A saltie, (thank fuck I got behind that fence)
-All of the spiders (except white tails)
-a scorpian
-as well as a whole swathe of non-native animals
In addtion
-a frill necked lizard put my uncle in hospital
-I saw a wombat fuck up another wombat (who knew that they even fought)
-A guest got fucked up by a koala that she tried to touch (retard)
- A mate got stung by a platypus.

Do you live in a country town and/or zoo?

On topic: I can't blame you for being paranoid, I'm convinced 90% of Americans are gun-toting hics waiting to rob and kill me. It made my time in Texas extra fun. <.<;

A country town, but most of this happened in other country towns

I see, so they are as scary as they say.

Captcha: run farther

 

[Jegsimmons]

The same way we do with the other billion weird and dangerous wildlife in Australia, don't think about it.

that may work until you fall asleep and the little fuckers have laid eggs in your eyes and the mother is literally eating out you ass hole while you scream but its too late and the eggs hatched, went through your brain, shat, and another mother is makeing its way leg first through your mouth from your stomach with the nasty-est taste imaginable and a mother fucking WETA crawls out from behind your eye!!!!


OH DEAR JESUS I CAN TOUCH THE FLOOR ANYMORE!!!!!!! EVERYTHING IS FUCKING LAVA!!!!!

 

[Idsertian]

Ok, how bad could this be? (follows link)

GAAAAH! WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL IS THAT ABOMINATION?!

Seriously, fuck that. How do Australians deal with living in a country where the food chain is so horribly violated on every level?

Oh yeah, and stonefish. Gotta love dem stonefish.

Registers 10 on the Fuckenstein meter, don't you know?

 

[Lunar Templar]

>.>

i decided a LONG time ago, after a particularly LONG stint on cracked, that Australia is not where i want to go, at all. way to much shit wants me dead

 

[Goofguy]

I'm not going insane because I live on the other side of the planet and I challenge that spider to come survive a Canadian winter.

never challenge nature, it will fuck your day up, on tomorrow's news a new breed of super spider that can swim,run and tunnel at 60mph is the size of a cat and can survive any temperature between -100 and 100 degrees Celsius

Come at me, spider. I've got Jack Johnson, Tom O'Leary and my swinging cod.

 

[lovestomooch]

*australian accent*
You call that a spider? THIS is a spider!

 

[Whoatemysupper]

TIL The Escapist is not like Reddit. Can I say TIL here?

 

[emeraldrafael]

So yeah, Australia just gave humans another reason to GTFO and we're too drunk/proud to bother. Just wait, cause the first time you hear news of an actual dragon or living dinosaur its going to come frmo australia.

 

[Seanfall]

Just when I'd heard it all, just when I thought Australian wildlife couldn't get any more terrifying; fucking SNAKE-EATING SPIDER!! [http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/8454494/giant-queensland-spider-devours-snake] It's a spider. And it eats snakes. What. The. FUCK.

This is why I could never go to Australia. Even knowing this was on the same land mass as me would scare the shit out of me. Hell I'm having trouble with the fact it's on the same planet as me! How the hell do you guys not go insane?!

Discussion value: The spiders. How do we destroy them?

Well obviously we engineer a toad/Rhino crossbreed. The Krogan. And unleash them on the spidery bastards.

Really though KILL IT WITH FIRE PURGE THE JUNGLE OF THESE MONSTERS! Goooood I hate spiders. *shivers all over and double checks there are none on him.

 

[Robert Ewing]

Fucking Australia. And fuck the guys balls that are steel enough to put his hand next to the fucking thing.

 

[renegade7]

In my twenty years in this country I have been attacked by

- A mate got stung by a platypus.

They can STING you too? Holy shit, how are platypi not the dominant species of the world yet...

 

[devilofthemist]

I'm not going insane because I live on the other side of the planet and I challenge that spider to come survive a Canadian winter.

never challenge nature, it will fuck your day up, on tomorrow's news a new breed of super spider that can swim,run and tunnel at 60mph is the size of a cat and can survive any temperature between -100 and 100 degrees Celsius

Come at me, spider. I've got Jack Johnson, Tom O'Leary and my swinging cod.

sorry why are we not making this into a film?

 

[StormShaun]

Meanwhile in Australia.

Spiders, where?

Haha, I live in the Suburbs of Perth and we/I barely get a spider, I only get the red backs of Huntsmen (which are outside), and the only spider that gets in my room dies later that day.

Still I'm scared sh*tless of them.

 

[Corporal Yakob]

Excuse me one moment.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[uhddh]

I'm certain that this would help people decide properly before coming here

EDIT: embeding the video didn't work so have a link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNEeq5qGh8I

 

[phyrexian]

Shopped.

We don't have anything like that out here. No, we have cute things, like koalas. They don't secretly want to rip your faces off to make a fleshy quilt with or anything like that, what gave you that idea?