WTF Australia?!?!?!

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Galletea

Inexplicably Awesome
Sep 27, 2008
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Worst we get here in Britain is probably the odd angry badger or two.

Seriously, don't mess with badgers, they're mean bastards I tell you.
 

iLazy

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Aug 6, 2011
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Well, if Australia ever wants to take over the world, I'm sure they'll have no problem. Fucking unleash their god damn animals on us. I'm just going to stay in Canada, where the only thing I have to worry about is bears, wolves, lynx and the occasional moose crossing the road (the moose will fuck you up). Also the winter, but only when it drops to around -50 degrees. Thank you long underwear :D

Also... what the fuck is a drop bear?? Is it as scary as it sounds?
 

TheVioletBandit

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Oct 2, 2011
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the clockmaker said:
In my twenty years in this country I have been attacked by
-A king brown snake (survival tip 1-thick pants)
-A roo
-An Emu
-A cockatoo (fuckers can bite like all hell)
-Magpaies, lots of magpies.
-A saltie, (thank fuck I got behind that fence)
-All of the spiders (except white tails)
-a scorpian
-as well as a whole swathe of non-native animals
In addtion
-a frill necked lizard put my uncle in hospital
-I saw a wombat fuck up another wombat (who knew that they even fought)
-A guest got fucked up by a koala that she tried to touch (retard)
- A mate got stung by a platypus.
I read that the platypus sting is one of the most painful stings on the planet. Did you friend talk about the pain much?
 

minka1995

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Jan 6, 2011
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Anyone saying Australia isn't that bad is telling lies.
When I was younger I was pulling apart a dead XBOX controller, as I cracked open the casing a damn White Tail Spider jumped out of the controller at me. Horrible creatures, their bite will rot the flesh.
My dad once had a dog, it got torn to shreds by a koala.
When driving avoid wombats, they will put a big dent in the front of your car and probably totter away with a headache.
 

CAPTCHA

Mushroom Camper
Sep 30, 2009
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Hazy992 said:
Goofguy said:
I'm not going insane because I live on the other side of the planet and I challenge that spider to come survive a Canadian winter.
You know what, fuck it I'm moving to Antarctica. Let's see them get me there!
Well then you'd have these to contend with.

 

EvilMaggot

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Sep 18, 2008
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yeeeeaaah... im on OP with this one.. danish hunter spiders is big enough for me.. any bigger ... hell no!
 

acer840

(Insert Awesome Title)
Mar 24, 2008
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Country
Australia
Wow, I live in Cairns (where this footage was taken, therefor where this spider is). Guess I ain't sleeping tonight. Golden Orbs are nothing to be afraid of really, it's more the Black Widdows, Funnel Web and the Red/White Back spiders you have to watch out for. They are the killers. Now to go to bed while holding a can of insect killer... and a brick.
 

Maleval

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Feb 2, 2011
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White Lightning said:
If you think that's scary wait until you see the bug that eats that spider.
What about the single-cell predators that rip those bugs with their huge venomous pseudopods of death?
 

Cipher1

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Feb 28, 2011
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Having spent several weeks in the Amazon rain forest a few years ago Australian wildlife doesn't seem all that scary, seriously if someone offers you a trip into the heart of the Amazon punch them in the gut and run for it.
 

Heronblade

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Apr 12, 2011
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Meh, even outside of Australia, the spider in the OP isn't all that remarkable.
renegade7 said:
the clockmaker said:
In my twenty years in this country I have been attacked by

- A mate got stung by a platypus.
They can STING you too? Holy shit, how are platypi not the dominant species of the world yet...
They have a small spur on their hind limbs. The male's version of it can deliver a dose of venom. Its strong enough to kill a small animal, but is not likely to permanently harm a person. Although the venom does cause enough pain to incapacitate.
 

bird of hermes

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Jan 4, 2011
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lmao, drop bears.

Jeff Hanneman from Slayer got a flesh-eating disease, I think it was called Necrotizing Fasciitis, from a spider in Australia, so I'm not too eager to go down under anytime soon.
 

shrekfan246

Not actually a Japanese pop star
May 26, 2011
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Final First said:
the clockmaker said:
In my twenty years in this country I have been attacked by
-A king brown snake (survival tip 1-thick pants)
-A roo
-An Emu
-A cockatoo (fuckers can bite like all hell)
-Magpaies, lots of magpies.
-A saltie, (thank fuck I got behind that fence)
-All of the spiders (except white tails)
-a scorpian
-as well as a whole swathe of non-native animals
In addtion
-a frill necked lizard put my uncle in hospital
-I saw a wombat fuck up another wombat (who knew that they even fought)
-A guest got fucked up by a koala that she tried to touch (retard)
- A mate got stung by a platypus.
No wonder why they dumped prisoners there and left them for dead.
Know what's scarier than all of that? The prisoners who were dumped there and left for dead? Lived.

Also, this I feel is relevant: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.118413-The-Sydney-Funnel-Web-Unfair

Yeah, I dunno if I trust what Aussies say about their homeland. I might visit for a week or two, but I'd never be able to live there. First time I saw a huntsman sitting on my wall? I'd need new pants. And god forbid I ever woke up with one sitting on my face like some other Escapambilidandoes have said happened to them.
 

Dastardly

Imaginary Friend
Apr 19, 2010
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Hazy992 said:
Just when I'd heard it all, just when I thought Australian wildlife couldn't get any more terrifying; fucking SNAKE-EATING SPIDER!! [http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/8454494/giant-queensland-spider-devours-snake] It's a spider. And it eats snakes. What. The. FUCK.

This is why I could never go to Australia. Even knowing this was on the same land mass as me would scare the shit out of me. Hell I'm having trouble with the fact it's on the same planet as me! How the hell do you guys not go insane?!

Discussion value: The spiders. How do we destroy them?
Australia is the only place in the world where "death by natural causes" is the most terrifying option.
 

imnot

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Apr 23, 2010
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I think Tv tropes sums it up pretty well
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EverythingTryingToKillYou
Scroll down there's and there's an entire section called 'Real life- Australia'
 

The Rascal King

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Aug 13, 2009
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Oh holy shit, Australian friends. As an American concerned with the problems of my country, I propose we throw our problems together.That's right, we lock corrupt politicians and reality show stars in a room and we can make them fight your natural dangers to the fucking death.