WTF Australia?!?!?!

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yjchung

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Apr 24, 2011
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Australia's great. Tons of great white sharks and Portugese man o' wars floating around in the Great Barrier Reef. Oh yeah, and stonefish. Gotta love dem stonefish.
 

BathorysGraveland

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Dec 7, 2011
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The worst spider I have gazed upon are red backs, and believe me, they don't last 5 minutes in my house. Not from any intervention of my own doing mind you, nah, the daddy long legs wipe them out periodically by their own initiative and they're friendly towards me. I'm surprised the little red backs keep returning.

Australia really isn't as bad as people make it out to be, at least not in my experience.
 

Kolby Jack

Come at me scrublord, I'm ripped
Apr 29, 2011
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Hazy992 said:
DoPo said:
Hazy992 said:
DoPo said:
Hazy992 said:
Discussion value: The spiders. How do we destroy them?
Don't harm the spiders. They are protecting you from the evil lizard overlords. Would you prefer to be bit by an evil sadistic cold hearted snake, or by a cute little friendly spider who loves you with onions and a light salad all his heart.
Oh no! They have gotten to you haven't they? Haven't they?!
Relax, fellow human. The spiders are not our enemy. They do not plot to take over our human bodies as a disgusting flesh puppet. This is evil propaganda by those cold-blooded reptiles.

I believe that as true humans, it is in our best interest to get rid of these disgusting reptiles. Also, we need more spiders for our cause. Every fellow human should take some into their home and look after them.

In unrelated note, I have found that eating lots of onion is really good for my human body. And introducing some herbs and spices into my diet and also sprinkling them on my body makes me greatly more desirable to humans of the opposite sex. Basil and savoury in particular.
Hmm...I feel a little better now, but I dunno man, something doesn't feel quite right. I can't quite put my finger on it. :/
YOU FOOL!! Can't you see?! It's painfully obvious that a massive Australian demon spider has taken... wait... what's that sound?! OH GOD THERE'S ONE RIGHT BEHIND ME CALL THE POLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGRHGRHRGHRGGGGGG!!!!

Yes, well. As I was saying. Spiders have never harmed a single human in history. Go ahead, look it up. Any claims to the contrary are part of the reptilian propaganda machine. It is good to trust DoPo, he is obviously a friend. Or perhaps... a brother. Anyway, Australia is a fine place to live. Or it will be, once the beloved friendly happy fun spiders remove all those nasty snakes. Please visit! And don't forget to wear loose clothing, it makes the feasting easier the heat much more bearable! Now I'm off to go devour my spouse's head, as is the plain old human thing to do.
 

DustyDrB

Made of ticky tacky
Jan 19, 2010
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I saw a four foot long rattlesnake in my backyard last week. I beat it to death with a stick.

I saw a half a centimeter long spider this week. I screamed, ran out of the room and gathered ammunition (read: Magazines, flip-flops, etc). Then I cautiously approached the room and threw said ammunition at the spider until it was adequately smooshy.
 

Spambot 3000

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Aug 8, 2011
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In Australia, we have a custom called, 'toughening of the men'.
All newborn male babies are abandoned in the great outback and it's up to them to find their way back home.
They must endure blistering heat, countless venomous creatures, lack of water and boxing kangaroos.
The only way to survive is to adapt to the environment - learning to live off nature and to be able to win a fight against an emu.
All babies that do not survive are deemed not worthy anyway. The ones that do survive grow up to be Saxton Hale equivalents.

True story.

Oh, and do not try to squash the spiders, that only makes them angrier.
 

Shocksplicer

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Apr 10, 2011
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How do we avoid going insane? Easy! WE DON'T!

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Captcha: Purina Plan describe this brand with any words.
Answer: I don't have any pets. the spiders ate them all...
 

karcentric

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Dec 28, 2011
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Hazy992 said:
Just when I'd heard it all, just when I thought Australian wildlife couldn't get any more terrifying; fucking SNAKE-EATING SPIDER!! [http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/8454494/giant-queensland-spider-devours-snake] It's a spider. And it eats snakes. What. The. FUCK.

This is why I could never go to Australia. Even knowing this was on the same land mass as me would scare the shit out of me. Hell I'm having trouble with the fact it's on the same planet as me! How the hell do you guys not go insane?!

Discussion value: The spiders. How do we destroy them?
It wasn't a very large snake... I've had to evict larger snakes from my house when they slither on in. And as for spider extermination... like all things. Fire.
 

Jadak

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Nov 4, 2008
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Goofguy said:
I'm not going insane because I live on the other side of the planet and I challenge that spider to come survive a Canadian winter.
It should do just fine, camped out under your bed and all.
 

Risingblade

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Mar 15, 2010
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See this is why we should destroy Australia it's has nothing of value except for killers spiders and snakes! Oh and kangaroos, kangaroos are awesome. So yes it's decided, we must export all the roos in Aussie then nuke the country and hopefully not create radioactive spider snakes.
 

Nield

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Apr 20, 2012
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Pfft. Know thou nothing Risingblade? The spiders are already radioactive. All you're going to do is make them even bigger than they already are, and capable of crossing water. Just leave them with us, and you;ll be fine. Unless we decide to unleash them on you. Then you're kinda screwed.
 

Scarecrow1001

Senior Member
Jun 27, 2011
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I live in Australia,in fact, I have lived here my whole life and I have never seen anything like this.
 

gigastar

Insert one-liner here.
Sep 13, 2010
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Only in Autrailia huh?

Also that spider is going to have one hell of a time wrapping that snake up for later.

Also how is this worse than the tarantula that got its name for eating birds? And also happens to be able to shoot darts that can penetrate to the bone.
 

Magus44

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Aug 26, 2008
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Risingblade said:
Oh and kangaroos, kangaroos are awesome.
A kangaroos kick can do some seriously damage, mate.
I was out in the bush the other day and they have some serious power in those legs.

OT: Thats just an orb weaver. I don't think his bite would actually kill you. Hurt like hell yeah, and be ultra creepy coz its the size of your face, but you wont die.
I don't think Red-backs and Funnel-webs have killed anyone in years.
Maybe you should stick away from Africa. I hear that Nile crocs and Hippos kill heaps more people each year then these spiders do.
Australia's great mate.


 

lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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Hazy992 said:
Goofguy said:
I'm not going insane because I live on the other side of the planet and I challenge that spider to come survive a Canadian winter.
You know what, fuck it I'm moving to Antarctica. Let's see them get me there!
<img width=350>http://spidervalley.com/images/Snow_Spider.jpg

YOU CANNOT ESCAPE

It's still not as horrifying as the (Australian) tree that shoots poisonous needles at all living things that approach it...
 

Offworlder_v1legacy

Ya Old Mate
May 3, 2009
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Considering we have 9 of the most ten most poisonous snakes in the world exclusive to our little island I'd welcome this spider warmly, but on the other hand I hate spiders, of which we have one of the most poisonous spiders too, one of which is native to my city....WHY DO I LIVE HERE!!
 

General Twinkletoes

Suppository of Wisdom
Jan 24, 2011
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A tip if you come here, out in the wild, if you see an animal, do not touch it

Sleepy as they might look, koalas are not nice, Not nice at all.

Also, beware of drop bears, they will attack you. Make sure to bring a hat, sitting under a tree unless it's an isolated tree is very, very dangerous.

EDIT: I have to wonder who cursed the city of sydney. The biggest city here with a huge population density, and that is the only place on earth where the funnel web is. Take that, Sydney!