You are given the choice of having one super power, but there's a catch...

[Sergeant Schatten]

Mustache Man

the ability groom peoples mustaches into humorous shapes in seconds

COMIN' AT YA LIKE A FACIAL HAIR FIASCO

 

[BigbadaBEEF]

The ability to imitate anyones voice or accent.

Strangely enough I was just thinking this the other day. just think of the prank calls.

 

[Mr. GameBrain]

The ability to build castles from Swiss Cheese.

"OOOO!! LOOK AT ME! IN MY CHEESE CASTLE! YOU CAN'T GET ME UP HERE! OH NO! DON'T PUSH THE CASTLE, AAAH! ITS FALLING!! NO! DON'T EAT IT, IT TOOK ME A WHOLE WEEK TO MAKE! aaaww crap..."

 

[Xshu]

Doomguy. I can completely destroy the legions of Hell. The catch: I'm a human, not a superhero. The bonus: I can still destroy the legions of hell.

Does this come up for you...like...ever? You would never even know if you had the power or if whatever granted you the ability was just fucking around with you. To get it to work you would need for there to be a Hell, and for Hell to have an army, and for that army to invade at some point in your lifetime. Even if we grant the existence of Hell, the other two are pretty big obstacles given that if a demon invasion ever has taken place it was either small enough to cover up or happened so long ago that it wasn't recorded in non-religious history.

Then again, this is a scenario where people are being granted fairly unimpressive powers left and right. You never know when you might need this to fight the guy who chooses "the ability to summon the legions of hell, but only to to egg houses on halloween".

 

[Pigeon_Grenade]

the odd Ability to Channel Dead Comedians...

 

[SilentVirus]

The ability to not have bad breath! EXCELSIOR!

 

[Klumpfot]

I'd like the ability to breathe fire when I am bored. Also, being able to win any argument, at the cost of permanently forgetting half the words I used to win it.

 

[Pielikey]

I would shoot bullets out my ass.
I could kill anyone I want and if they lived nobody'd believe them

 

[__Anarchy__]

I would have to become... The Amazing CHRONO-MAN!

I always know what time it is!

DAYUM took mine
in that case i would have to have the ability to instantly teleport (at will) to people who ask "what is this song" when hearing a radio and i would always know the answer then i would tell them and causally walk off

or i could have the ability to always nail throwing a paper ball into a bin every time.

 

[CheesusCrust]

The ability to touch MC Hammer

 

[Slythernite]

The ability to explode. This power can only be used once.

 

[Racistman3d]

The ability to swear in any language that has ever existed on Earth.

 

[Trigger Happy]

the ability to state the obvious... FROM ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD!!!!

 

[Joshroom]

The super ability to be able to recognise and name any shade of colour.
I see it now, as I'm slowly lowered towards my doom the main villian cackles and says "and now burn in my pit of boiling green acid!"; I can turn and sneer and say "ha, but that acid is actually dark sea green turquiose! You lose again villian man!"
Origin Story: Covered by a can of radioactive sunrise yellow while shopping in B&Q.

 

[Xerosch]

Everytime I try to lie I sound like a Dalek

 

[Xodion]

I would have to become... The Amazing CHRONO-MAN!

I always know what time it is!

I'm almost like this already, if there isn't a clock or watch around I can usually give the time fairly accurately. This is because I'm obsessive about knowing what time it is ALL THE TIME - I check my watch every few minutes without even thinking about it, and get uncomfortable if I don't have it and there are no clocks around...

OT: The Wit! With the ability to come up with sharp and witty replies to any remark, but only after a week has passed...

 

[Not-here-anymore]

Search bar man! With the power to...
Actually it's been a month or so since the last time I saw this thread

Memory man!

With the power to remember every novel he's read, every film he's seen, and every game he's played! Thus removing all re-read/watch/play value from everything!
Origin story: Caught in a room full of xbox's that all went RROD at the same time, the red ring was burned into my eyes (and small parts of my brain). No idea how that results in the powers, but who said it had to make sense?

Yeah... This actually happens to me...

 

[rhyno435]

The ability to generate pumpkin pie out of thin air, and turn water into whipped cream.

 

[orangebandguy]

The power to use telekinesis, but it only works on biscuits.