You Are The Only One Who Can Stop Them!

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Lt._nefarious

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Apr 11, 2012
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You're sitting at your computer, doing whatever it is that you do on your computer on a Sunday afternoon, when you hear a loud "bididididididididididi" noise. You look outside to discover that there is a race of hostile aliens invading the world and murdering people. You spend the next few days hiding in a cupboard subsisting only on Lemon-Flavoured Mineral Water, Klondike Bars and Raisin Bran with only the low pitched humming noise (whom you have named Dirk) to keep you company. You don't know where the noise is coming from but it is your friend. Around your fifth day inside the cupboard, at which point you're almost certain you've gone peculiar, the humming stops. "Holy fuck!" you think "That noise was the only thing keeping me sane...". But minutes after the cupboard door opens to reveal the President (or regional equivalent) who informs you that you are the "Only One Who Can Stop Them" and escorts you to a near by helicopter and flies you to the nearest large, alien-infested tourist attraction and hands you a gun, which you recognize to be the rifle from Star Ship Troopers and gives you a vague explanation as to why you are the "Only One Who Can Stop Them" before kicking you out of the Helicopter and flying a way. Totally shaken by this experience you stand, slack jawed, loosely clutching the rifle before slowly making your way in the direction the mini map, which you are pretty sure is just an hallucination, points you...

So Escapists from that point on what would you do? How would you react? And what would you do while the President was speaking at you? Or while you were in the Cupboard?
 

TheFunPolice

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Mar 29, 2011
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Masturbate.

In all honesty..I don't know what I'd do. Most likely I'd find a nice comfy corner to cry in xD
 

tippy2k2

Beloved Tyrant
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Mar 15, 2008
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I'd do what I imagine most people would do.

Kick ass until I ran out of bullets and get myself killed because I have no clue how to reload the damn thing...
 

DrRockor

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Jun 24, 2008
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I think I would turn around go find the president, punch him in the face and tell him to find someone from his own damn country to do it. I liked my cupboard
 

omega 616

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May 1, 2009
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Firstly, wonder how the president found me.

Secondly, think "well, humanity is fucked".

Thirdly, spend a few hours trying to be a good shot.

Fourth-ly, go back to my hidey hole trying to figure out where Dirk went.
 

Zantos

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Jan 5, 2011
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"I'll give it a go, but only if I can Clegg to help me. Give him a nice red uniform."

I don't know, if he gives me a crowbar it's safe to assume he's just been playing too much Half Life, I'd just make a break for the nearest exit.
 

Scarim Coral

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Oct 29, 2010
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While in my head I would view myself as the next action hero but in reality I will be terrify. I mean seriously who the hell hand someone a gun and tell that person that he/ she is apprently the chosen one without any trainings beforehand? Is it all in good faith that it will all work out?
 

emeraldrafael

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Jul 17, 2010
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hand it over to someone more competent. if im alive then im ahzarding a guess my family is since most have served military time and live ready for world ending situations. so Id hand off the rifle to one of them and say have it.
 

Veldel

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Well this is easy I would leave the gun then go and mate with said aliens allowing us to become a new race which I would rule and then counqer other races with said super hybrid alien baby's.


Chosen one be damned for helping humanity I just want some alien booty il be like Kirk.
 

Pebkio

The Purple Mage
Nov 9, 2009
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Obviously that humming noise was alien tech designed to make me first crave the noise and then I go into what can only be described as an "episode" when it's taken away. Then I'd go "save" humanity while actually being harvested for my meats.

No wait...

I'd loose the ability to look up all the way. Then I'd make the grand tour of DC while shooting bugs with pew-pew guns and finding hidden doors with a round ball. ...and everything would suddenly look pixilated and poorly contrasted.
 

No social life

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Oct 27, 2010
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I use my insane luck, it's the reason I'm not dead 12 times over.

All I would do would be to run in guns blazing with my eyes closed, and as long as I'm not having a bad day, Ill be fine....

EDIT:

Veldie said:
Well this is easy I would leave the gun then go and mate with said aliens allowing us to become a new race which I would rule and then counqer other races with said super hybrid alien baby's.


Chosen one be damned for helping humanity I just want some alien booty il be like Kirk.
Dammit I should have thought of that, its brilliant.
 

spartan231490

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Jan 14, 2010
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As I wouldn't have hidden in a cupboard for 5 days, I would have loaded up my own guns and gone alien hunting, I imagine that I am the only one who can stop them because of my insanely high kill count.
 

The Wykydtron

"Emotions are very important!"
Sep 23, 2010
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Wait alien invasion? I guess they'll have fucked with my anime... Nobody fucks with my anime. The moment Animecrazy (and the like) goes down is the moment I have to go and dunk some alien rudelords.

Shooting some few thousand aliens is within my capabilities if my Internet is at stake
 

Smolderin

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Feb 5, 2012
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I would be like Tennessee from Zombie Land and be like, "Those frickin aliens better have not destroyed the twinkies.....", and with gun in hand I would set off on a dangerous and perilous adventure for the last twinkie in existence. Why? Cause I can...and I sure as hell ain't waging a one man war on an entire alien race....Who do you think I am? Serious Sam?
 

thespyisdead

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Jan 25, 2010
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i can't help but feel XCOM sparked this thread...


in my head, the scenario seems, that i will be this heroic ass kickin machine, but in reality i probably will be shell shocked the moment i see blood coming from my own minuscule scatch