You have one free punch.

[EHKOS]

God.....The Guy has a lot to answer for.

 

[Rastien]

http://jokideo.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Robbin-****.jpg

Deal, chris evans was a close 2cnd but i despise some of the schemes this dude has implemented, also nick clegg as he created my first real sense of being stabbed in the back by a politcal party.

 

[Triple G]

Alexander Navalny.
He's this Russian blogger dude who thinks he's some big political figure...

 

[The Funslinger]

The inventor of "ouchless" band-aids, lying fucker...

In that same vein, the person who came up with "no more tears children's Johnsons shampoo".

Or, more seriously, either the one other sociopath I know (he's a complete dick about it) or the stupidest person I've ever met who wasn't literally retarded.

If I must say someone at least part way famous, Lee Evans. He is not, nor will he ever be even remotely funny.

 

[Thespian]

Wow, I just sat here for a while until I realised I really don't wanna punch anybody.
Maybe I'm just a peace-loving-wuss, but I can't say I have a desire to actually hit anybody.

Yeah. It's not that some people don't deserve a punch, I just wouldn't get any satisfaction from it. The opportunity to publicly outsmart and humiliate a number of people would be awesome though.

 

[snappydog]

Orson Scott Card for the stuff he said about gay people, which rendered me unable to enjoy his work ever again.
Alternatively, Stephanie Meyer for perpetrating the ideals of the above in a form easily digestible to the teenage mind.
Alternatively, this guy I knew in high school who.. Well, I don't think he ever performed a single kind act in the entire five years I was aware of him.

Captcha: movers and shakers.
Yeah, why not captcha? I'd punch some of those too.

 

[TheMyffic]

I would carry it around on a necklace and use it to threaten folks that were bothering me. "See this? Keep it up, and it's yours." A punch is waaaaaay more useful before it's thrown.

... because the threat of a punch has much more value. Well done! This is so clever that I signed in to respond - no small feat.

 

[Dominus Nox]

Satan.(We can do fictional right?)

But I'd need some sort of photographic evidence.Just so when the damn street preachers who follow me screaming "Your going to hell!" whenever I go into town for a drink (or 15)I can show them the photo and be like "I punched Satan, what have you guys done today?"

Plus it would make a cool photo album thing for showing grand kids "Here's me and your Grandma at our wedding, and here's one of me belting Satan..."

 

[Someone Depressing]

What if I lined up everyone in the world, then punched the first person, knocking everyone over?

Well, people I'd let out, are Yuri Lowenthal, if he promised to recite his favourite lines from video-game roles he did to me, Shoji Meguro for being a really good musician, and Roberta Williams so I can tell her how to make good games if she ever tries again.

Or, Dane Cook. You're not funny. Stop trying.

Or probably God. Though, it'd be like swinging, tripping up on your own feet, and falling into a hole, because there's no-one there to punch. Besides, if he was real, I'd like to ask him a few questions before I did.

 

[Someone Depressing]

The Queen, definitely the Queen. All the fun of punching a little old lady combined with the joy of punching a useless royal, I'd also like to give a little wave just like the Queen does just after.... if that is permitted.

What exactly the old fart does, I'll never know. She's like a poser - all she really rules now is the church. And, you know what? Fuck the church. The parties they have at my local church anually that my gran forced me to come to as a child sucked.

 

[MetalMagpie]

I would carry it around on a necklace and use it to threaten folks that were bothering me. "See this? Keep it up, and it's yours." A punch is waaaaaay more useful before it's thrown.

This. ^ This is a good plan.

But if forced to use it today: Richard Dawkins, you are mine!

I know, I know. There are plenty of people in the world who deserve a punch far more than he does. I know I should use my One Free Punch for the good of mankind.

But I've been itching to punch that wanker in the face for some years now.

 

[MetalMagpie]

Or probably God. Though, it'd be like swinging, tripping up on your own feet, and falling into a hole, because there's no-one there to punch.

Fictional characters are allowed in the rules.

 

[The White Hunter]

Theresa May, without question. She is absolutely incompetent and if my punch managed to put her out of action for a couple of weeks, I'd willingly go to prison as I'd be doing the country a favour.

OOooh good choice.

I'd personally go with George Osbourne and just punch him so fucking hard it warped reality so that he actually knew some basic fucking macroeconomics. Rather than tax us out of recession how about some encouragement to spend ****!

¬_¬

 

[Raika]

I'd punch Yoshinori Ono in the teeth for ruining my favorite genre.

 

[James Crook]

I'd use it on Bachar el-Assad. The punch doesn't have to be in the face, right?

 

[Artemicion]

Lauren Faust.

Not for MLP:FiM.

For opening the door to MLP:FiM fanfiction.

No really, probably any of several political figures.
Truly, politicians are the weeds of the galaxy.

 

[Chalacachaca]

This guy, right here.