You have the world in your hands!!

[BeerTent]

I would preform science.

[/QUOTE]

First of all: Fucking awesome.

[QUOTE=StormShaun]Go to America to get some twinkies...

What every ruler needs twinkies.

Okay, here is what I would do in order.

1. End all war and conflict, plus ban all bad things. while keeping the good things like: (drugs, smoking, abortions, etc)[...]
[/QUOTE]

Second of all: Twinkies, eeh... Also, Fixed.

Third of all: I'd hand the shiny keys to a brand new Australia to a friend of mine while tossing most politicians minimum wage for their pay.

Take that.


fourth:
[QUOTE=Princess Trollestia]Sex education is a must, and prostitution is hyped. Sex slaves will be everywhere. Condoms will be in a more high demand, STD's will be researched and funded heavily for cures so no problems arrive in sex.[/QUOTE]
That too....

 

[Uzbekistan]

oh sure...its totally OK then!

it doesnt change anything, its NOT thier choice....you are fucking up somone reproductive systm WITHOUT them knowing, they will find out evenutally.....this is NOT somthing that should be decided by somone else, I dont know if having children is a right but its a big fucking deal...and its not right or ethical to take that away from somone...over population be damned

anyway peopel have less kids if theres less poverty..so it seems

Then I will politely have to disagree and not turn this into a flame war. I have avoided them most of my life, and will not start one here.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

Cut military spending and fund scientific research with the money, particularly space exploration and human enhancement.

This, along with a making a stripper amusement park. Yes this includes rollercoasters. (Hey, all those military people need something to take their edge off after they lose their job.)

All hail our supreme ruler!

Why pursue these as separate endeavors? Make an amusement park with scientifically enhanced strippers... IN SPACE! Exploration is encouraged.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

Sex education is a must, and prostitution is hyped. Sex slaves will be everywhere. Condoms will be in a more high demand, STD's will be researched and funded heavily for cures so no problems arrive in sex.

lol wow, where do we get all the sex slaves?

 

[damocles23]

Three words: "Beware puny mortals"

 

[Smallells]

Well, I'd probably not do much initially. Make Britain's anthem at the Olympics 'Requiem for a Tower'- mainly because I've had it in my head for the past two days- instead of 'God save the (fricken) King/Queen'. Make America's anthem into 'Time Warp' because it's funny, and I'm not cruel enough to put it as something bad.
You know, just mess around with the idea for a few years.
Point to someone on the street: "You, Sir! I want you to slap your own face! MWAHAHA"
Then.....I don't know, promote world peace or something? Some boring stuff like that.
Then I get onto the really important stuff.
Like creating an army of bears. Reintroducing the bear as a pet. SOMETHING ABOUT BEARS! WHY BEARS? DON'T QUESTION ME, I RULE THE WORLD!!!
It's gonna be fun guys, I promise =D

I not only like you, but your post and your icon.

Why thank you! Keep up the good work, and you may yet be spared from the Bearpocalypse!
Well, not so much a Bearpocalypse, as 'everyone who survives will ride on the back of bears and be one with the bears'.
Bearpocalypse just rolls off the tongue better, you know?

So instead of the right to bear arms, everyone will have the right to arm bears?

Woah, we're not arming the bears! If we do that, the human race would surely perish, even under my immense leadership!
Although, I may change it to the right to bear's arms. As ruler of you all, I'm sure I could flood money into creating a surgical procedure where we successfully transplant bear arms in place of our tragic feeble human one.
I'm tentative though, as there would no doubt be a huge rise in sexual activities due to the complete inability to masturbate.

 

[KelsieKatt]

....and what did I ever do to you?

EDIT: in fact lets add to that...what about my mum, my dad my familiy my dog, my freinds...your mum your family and your freinds, your teacher, the old man down the street, you gradparents everyone who youve ever talked to

what the fuck did they do to you?....apologies but I find this kind of upsetting,

I just don't have much faith in humanity overall. The concept of a utopian world is nice and all, I just can't see it working in the long run because most humans are too self-centered and need conflict of some kind, so in the end it would most likely be ruined by people for some reason or another, even if it was something as stupid as 'being bored.'

It's not so much that I personally hate everyone either, but at the same time, selectively saving people could potentially lead to future generations eventually becoming a problem too. In general, as a whole, these days I just tend to view humanity overall as a doomed cause.

Something else that also describes some part of my feelings is the speech that Agent Smith gave in the first Matrix movie about humans being a virus that spreads and consumes everything.

There's more to it, but I just woke a moment ago so my brain is still a little slow.

 

[idodo35]

hmm so my plan did work! good... good...
when i am emparor of earth i will first order the cancalation of all and every coming twilight movie and will order the "Avengers" movie come out right now!!!

also i will build a monument for the one who inspierd me for world domination

 

[idodo35]

Sex education is a must, and prostitution is hyped. Sex slaves will be everywhere. Condoms will be in a more high demand, STD's will be researched and funded heavily for cures so no problems arrive in sex.

lol wow, where do we get all the sex slaves?

Spoiler: racist joke warning

probably africa... as always...
sory that wasnt funny -_-

 

[Mr Fixit]

It would take the powers of a god to make my plan work. Brutally enforced peace, anyone that trys to start shit would be severely punished & the entire world would be forced to watch. Then all resources would be pooled into prolonging the human life span, then I begin the Thousand Years of Suffering, just to show those worthless fools just how good they had it. After that who knows mabye take everyone on a trip to jupiter or something.

 

[Vault101]

....and what did I ever do to you?

EDIT: in fact lets add to that...what about my mum, my dad my familiy my dog, my freinds...your mum your family and your freinds, your teacher, the old man down the street, you gradparents everyone who youve ever talked to

what the fuck did they do to you?....apologies but I find this kind of upsetting,

I just don't have much faith in humanity overall. The concept of a utopian world is nice and all, I just can't see it working in the long run because most humans are too self-centered and need conflict of some kind, so in the end it would most likely be ruined by people for some reason or another, even if it was something as stupid as 'being bored.'

It's not so much that I personally hate everyone either, but at the same time, selectively saving people could potentially lead to future generations eventually becoming a problem too. In general, as a whole, these days I just tend to view humanity overall as a doomed cause.

Something else that also describes some part of my feelings is the speech that Agent Smith gave in the first Matrix movie about humans being a virus that spreads and consumes everything.

There's more to it, but I just woke a moment ago so my brain is still a little slow.

Im not talking about utopia..of coarse it isnt possible (depending on your definition) hell how many people have been hurt in history all for one crazy mans "vision" of utopia?

humanity as always had problems, we probably always will, but so what? you say people are self centred but you would glady kill most of us to suit "your" little vision of the world

and the reason I listed induviduals (including me) was to point out that you dehumanize people when you group us all under the banner of "humanity" we are all induviduals, and we all have out own Ideas on things

also you honestly think selecting a few people and killing off th rest will fix anything? again you say utpia wont work but what your saying is EXACTALY somone mad person fucking things up to try and cheive "their" vision of utopia....and those "selected" are stil people..with the same faults

also thign is people tend to be obsessed with "the end", as in alot would belive that they will be the ones to see "the end"...you know because they special like that

and what th fuck is the point of non-existantce anyway?

 

[KelsieKatt]

Im not talking about utopia..of coarse it isnt possible (depending on your definition) hell how many people have been hurt in history all for one crazy mans "vision" of utopia?

humanity as always had problems, we probably always will, but so what? you say people are self centred but you would glady kill most of us to suit "your" little vision of the world

and the reason I listed induviduals (including me) was to point out that you dehumanize people when you group us all under the banner of "humanity" we are all induviduals, and we all have out own Ideas on things

also you honestly think selecting a few people and killing off th rest will fix anything? again you say utpia wont work but what your saying is EXACTALY somone mad person fucking things up to try and cheive "their" vision of utopia....and those "selected" are stil people..with the same faults

I'm not going to argue about this with a random person on the internet shouting at me. Not to mention, it seems kind of pointless anyway, it's not like either one of us is going to convince the other of anything.

also thign is people tend to be obsessed with "the end", as in alot would belive that they will be the ones to see "the end"...you know because they special like that

Not entirely sure what this part is supposed to even mean.

 

[Vault101]

Im not talking about utopia..of coarse it isnt possible (depending on your definition) hell how many people have been hurt in history all for one crazy mans "vision" of utopia?

humanity as always had problems, we probably always will, but so what? you say people are self centred but you would glady kill most of us to suit "your" little vision of the world

and the reason I listed induviduals (including me) was to point out that you dehumanize people when you group us all under the banner of "humanity" we are all induviduals, and we all have out own Ideas on things

also you honestly think selecting a few people and killing off th rest will fix anything? again you say utpia wont work but what your saying is EXACTALY somone mad person fucking things up to try and cheive "their" vision of utopia....and those "selected" are stil people..with the same faults

I'm not going to argue about this with a random person on the internet shouting at me. Not to mention, it seems kind of pointless anyway, it's not like either one of us is going to convince the other of anything.

also thign is people tend to be obsessed with "the end", as in alot would belive that they will be the ones to see "the end"...you know because they special like that

Not entirely sure what this part is supposed to even mean.

1. Im not "shouting" at you and Im just giving my argument (shouting would probably mean all caps) also, that seems like a cop out, its not about changing each others veiws...if you cant come up with a counter argument (of any kind) then Ill just assume you dont have one, the fact we are on the itnernet has nothing to do with it...you make a statement you try and back it up

2.perhaps I should have expained this better...I read in a cracked article about our obsession with post-apocaliptic..which may not be quite as relevent here, do you think thr world is going to go to shit in your lifetime? thats the point..alot of people see themselfs as part of "the end"...as opoased to us just going on like we always have

 

[hotsauceman]

Start my giant orbiting palace with waterfalls,Real revived dinosaurs(Science has been lacking in that lately) and a petting zoo. It will be blood red with bold accents.
Oh and a giant cannon to destroy buildings at will.

 

[KelsieKatt]

1. Im not "shouting" at you and Im just giving my argument (shouting would probably mean all caps) also, that seems like a cop out, its not about changing each others veiws...if you cant come up with a counter argument (of any kind) then Ill just assume you dont have one, the fact we are on the itnernet has nothing to do with it...you make a statement you try and back it up

No thanks. Not in the mood for an argument.

2.perhaps I should have expained this better...I read in a cracked article about our obsession with post-apocaliptic..which may not be quite as relevent here, do you think thr world is going to go to shit in your lifetime? thats the point..alot of people see themselfs as part of "the end"...as opoased to us just going on like we always have

It doesn't. I doubt humans are going to go anywhere for a while, unless they're stupid enough to kill themselves in a global war or some strange natural disaster shows up, but that seems unlikely as there's no scientific reason to believe that. The former seems more likely, but even then, I doubt it.

 

[geK0]

I'd probably troll the planet with a bunch of 'signs'

Conjure up a title wave from the pacific ocean to crash into the rocky mountains and carve a likeness of the philosiraptor

start making all the birds in the world humm the mario theme song

make it snow in Iraq

Just to see what crazy theories people come up with!

really though, what could be weirder than some random 21 year old business student being spontaneously deified?

 

[davidmc1158_v1legacy]

I would first laugh maniacally for about 10 minutes.

Then, it is time for some REAL negotiations towards peace and cleaning up some governments. As in, drop he idiots onto a small island in the middle of nowhere. No food, water or grandstanding in front of cameras, and no getting off the atoll until you work your shit out! If you die before you get the job done, too bad. We'll send in your successors to face the same challenge until someone gets it right!

I'd probably ban a few things I really hate, like Twilight, Bieber, smoking, that sort of thing.

Then it would be time to take 10% of the world's money, schlep off to my fabulous palace on Hawaii and enjoy myself.

You are all invited to the house-warming party, of course!

 

[Athol]

How it happened? Waffles gave me mind control and I took over. What do I do? Watch the world's affairs, constantly arrange circumstances so douchebags eventually are removed from politics and elevate Mario as the new deity of Earth. Also Chocolate Milk, Kraft Dinner, Ketchup, Mayonnaise and Tartar Sauce must be eradicated from the world. I hate them and seeing as I'm in charge...

NOT TARTAR SAUCE! I'd have to use my newfound power to raise a robot army to protect the tartar sauce from usurpers like this one....

So long as they'll help defent the ketchup and mayo as well, I'll help with my super soldiers (think Fallout Super Mutants in power armour armed with chainguns)

 

[ArcNitemare]

Hmm I look through the old threads(but not that old)and happen to cross this one..Welp time to leave my answer.

If I were to become King/Emperor/Absolute ruler of the Earth I would start by abolishing all current governments then form thing into one massive one,with each 'nation" being lead by a sort of council,1 head and 4 advisers(like a hand),who will be voted for by the people,but only once they have proven they are competent enough to lead.

I will have a new law put in place called the Common Sense law,which will ask the question of"Was common sense used here?'. Ever current law will be check and rechecked to make sure it follows with the Common Sense law,as will past,present,and future lawsuits.Those found in violation with be thrown out.Past laws that break the Common Sense law will either be abolished or modified to fit the new law ie Yes you can drive without a seat belt but if you do you wave the right to sue if you or a loved one dies.

I will have the military scaled back as it seems way too big right now.I will also set up a method for solving problems more peacefully.

I will place harsher Animal Cruelty laws into effect as well.Not life threatening,but if you are famous and you hurt or kill an animal just because you think you can get away with it,you will be ban from what makes you famous for life.


I will see to it that projects that are wasting money are canceled(I mean really,the road isn't even damaged and you want to repave it?And its not like there aren't enough houses anyway)

I will restrict logging and other things that damage forests and the like.I will also heavily fine companies that dump their junk into the ocean.

I will expand the space exploration program.

I will do many more things..but I think I have rambled on for now.

But once this is all done,I will slink into the shadows and let the world run itself,only getting involved when I need to(ie another war or alien invasion)

Man that was a long one.