You know you're British when...

[neoptolemus]

You know you're British when you're a FUCKING MANIAC ON THE ROAD. Seriously. I just got back from vacation in London this morning, you people are insane. It's amazing there aren't a dozen crashes at every roundabout every ten seconds.

You went to London and decided it was a good idea to drive? It's hardly surprising you had a bad experience. Use the public transport in London; it's extortionate but so much better than driving.

 

[Popadoo]

...when you gently pat your mouth with the corner of your mouth with a handkerchief after spitting on a peasant lady before then tipping your top hat to her.
I do the last bit sometimes.

 

[neoptolemus]

You know you're British (or maybe just Scottish, for this particular example) when...

This [http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-south-scotland-13992689]

I mean, priorities people! Drag this country out of the pit it's in first, then you can go around building silly sculptures to your hearts content.

Funny, I saw an ad for some film that was going to be shown on that 5 US channel. According to the words on screen, the ad was the "Polite British Version", in which any "strong" words were beeped over. We were then invited to watch the full film on 5 US, if we were interested in hearing all the "American" swear words.

Polite you say? Sounds like someone has never actually paid a visit to this fair isle, by the sounds of things.

Words of truth right there. You know you're British when you frequently call your best mate a c*nt.

 

[Not-here-anymore]

When you look at the clock and think its time for a cup of tea...

Fixed that for you. Really, it's always time for a cup of tea.

You know you're British when you realise that you have about 80 more swear words than any other country on the planet. Even the ones who claim to speak English.
And you will use them, really fucking regularly.

Also, everything can be complained about. Apart from queues. They're a sacred rite of passage.

 

[wolf thing]

im going to do some Scottish one because alot of these British one seem to relate more to england

you know you're scottish when "fried" is an option for every meal

you know you're scottish when you go up a hill to get to the shop you need to go back up a hill to get back

 

[Hero in a half shell]

You know you're British when... You can tell the darn difference Between being British and being English, and there is a noticeable lack of that in this thread...

 

[Artina89]

When you are having what seems like the billionth cup of tea and watching classic Doctor Who making my way through all of the Jon Pertwee era Doctor Who DVD's I own. A nice relaxing day

But... I am Dutch! And it wasn't Pertwee at all, but McCoy!
You are up to something, aren't you...?

Mwahahahaha! I will not stop until Jon Pertwee's Doctor who is our overlord! We will bow down to his smoking jackets!!!

 

[Andaxay]

You know you're British when you fling off your clothes at the first sign of sunshine.

Haha, YES. I'd not seen so many topless blokes in my life before this last week of glorious sunshine we just had.

You know you're British when you start grumbling under your breath at anything from bad drivers to poor customer service or, of course, the weather.

Bloody ROUNDABOUTS.

 

[Magicmad5511]

When you despise the Americans. We created them and now we despise them. Like Frankenstein's monster.

 

[Canid117]

When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Or being extremely xenophobic.

Actually, thats Japan.

OT; You know you are British when...you have a barbecque at 10 degrees outside.

We dont talk about it much on this forum when there is good old America bashing to do but as far as I can tell British newspapers are like an openly racist version of FOX news. Is this true or have I been lied to?

 

[ScoopMeister]

When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Or being extremely xenophobic.

It's 'could have', as a matter of fact. And I don't think we're extremely xenophopic, just slightly.
You know you're British when you spell everything correctly, and everyone else is wrong.
Also when you are shit at languages, yet when you go abroad you expect everyone you meet to be able to speak English.

 

[Nimcha]

When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Or being extremely xenophobic.

It's 'could have', as a matter of fact.

No, really?!

Thanks for enlightening me!

 

[let's rock]

Aliens land in you're front yard and you offer them a cup of tea

 

[Valkyrie101]

You know you're British when you're a FUCKING MANIAC ON THE ROAD. Seriously. I just got back from vacation in London this morning, you people are insane. It's amazing there aren't a dozen crashes at every roundabout every ten seconds.

Don't go anywhere else in Europe then.

 

[killercyclist]

or for that matter you could just be from portland, oregon

 

[killercyclist]

you know what marmite tastes like, and still eat it. also, as a liverpool lfc fan you get in a fist fight with a man u fan.

 

[sluggyfreelancer]

You know when you're British when you say 'mate' and 'bloody' all the time.

 

[William MacKay]

You know you're British when you start using the word "glass" as a verb.

never heard that one before but I'm not British either

its when you get a glass bottle/pitcher and smash it over someones head.
OT: when theres so many talent shows you can live round the corner form someone mildly famous.
also, i went to high school with Gamu, from the last X-Factor.

 

[LordDPS]

... you are from england

England isn't the only British country ya know, even though they like to pretend it is.

Ti'n gwybod ti'n Prydeinig pan ti'n siarad Cymraeg!

you know your british when you hear a welshman snease oh wait it's a language? didn't know that

 

[wkim564]

When you piss tea and well, I don't thing the next part would be entirely appropriate.