You like getting abducted don't you? You nasty little human

[stonethered]

Worst case: We feel it's only fair to warn you we're going to lobotomize you. Jimmy is new at this and this is his first lobotomy.
And we seem to be out of anesthetics.

Oh, and our scientists tell us the easiest approach to the human brain is through this hole in your butt.



Best case: Congratulations you lucky bastard. It's been determined that you are most suited to lead your people into a era of colonization in space. Take this encyclopedia of everything, and read up; tomorrow we'll start you off with the beautiful women.

 

[cartzo]

worst=welcome to the first meeting of the G576,472,348, first on the agenda is galactic warming.

best=congratulations, you have been selected to be educated at the great oxfordial university of ursa-minor.

wow that was a nerdy post.

alternate worst=Merry Christmas.

 

[Sewblon]

Worst: Start the dissection! Best: Give him the super powers and immortality drug... The human is suffering no ill effects, put him back where you found him.

They need a compitent Palidin for the eternal 3.5 D&D Game. Im thinking a never ending game with infinte pizza and MtDew.

This may be my second worst. What kind of idiot aliens would need a paladin when they could have a barbarian?

 

[BlumiereBleck]

worst: we are going to listen to nirvana while we probe ur ass.
best: like all good strangers we got you candy

 

[Soxafloppin]

Worst : Prepare rape simulation for Coxafloppin

Best : Who wants Marshmallows?

 

[Murlin]

Worst: We wonder what kind of sound human males make when emasculated slowly, while having their backs ripped open by a chainsaw, we choose you as a volunteer...

Best: We wonder what'd happen if we'd fulfill all the crazy desires of a human teen, we're gonna try it with you

Even better: Hey we're one man short for a space-LAN party! Care to join?

 

[E-mantheseeker]

Worst:Are probes go other places than just anal.
Best:We have 200 human females which we will force you to breed with.

Aliens forcing you to have sex with and have children with 200 women is a "best case scenario" for you?

with 200 women there is a very good chance you won't even like most of them, never mind the fact that you'll have at least 200 children, more if there are twins/triplets/etc...

Also... Forced sex...from aliens.

 

[orc33]

What would be the worst thing to hear from the aliens?
We have come for your mind
What would be the best thing to hear from the aliens?
we have come for your mind, but you can have it back afterwards

 

[Ph33nix]

worst: "we are out of lube...oh well probe him anyway"

best: "alright man ready for some hot exotic alien bitches"

 

[AngloDoom]

Worst: Anything I can't understand. Call me racist, but when menacing creatures in a huge death-saucer float above me and speak gibberish, I'd probably be faced with the dilemna of running away whilst crapping my pants.



Best: "We're going to make you a cyborg"

 

[Ph33nix]

perhaps for a worst: "Damn i thought that would be funnier than it was" would be awfully bad too.

 

[maninahat]

Worst: They use me as a lab rat and graft a giant ear on my back.
Best: "Hello, we are a race of interstellar space vixens. Our education of human interactions comes entirely from examining your hard drive - would you teach us how to do what we've seen?"

 

[brainfreeze215]

Worst: Human! We respect your culture so much, we've based our lifestyles on this phenomenon "Twilight."

Best: We need you to inseminate all of our most attractive and still-humanoid-enough-to-be-sexy women!

 

[whiskey rock n' roller]

Best: We come in peace

Worst: For those of lovers of techno (I hate techno)

 

[johnman]

Worst thing: Welcome, test subject. We will test different methods of torture on you.
Best thing: Welcome, test subject. We will test your propagation ability.

The best one could easily turn bad - "We wanted to see first hand these rumours of same sex interaction" or "We want to test wether humans can breed with non-humans2

Its funny how everyone is saying sex with aliens.

 

[Optimus Hagrid]

Best: Time for some hot Alien lesbian action.

Worst: Time for some hot Alien blue hand lesbian action.