You took over the world....now what?

[BrownGaijin]

I would start spouting orders from my marble throne and red cushon:

Order 1: Bring me 15 sexy women on their own accord! (suck it Bin Laden)
Order 2: Bring me George Lucas!
Order 3: Take him to the torture chamber for everything since 1997!
Order 4: Bring me 15 more sexy women on their own accord! (suck it even HARDER Bin Laden)
Order 5: Bring me Nabeshin!
Order 6: Make me an anime series! Here's 10 million "Dollars" in investment.
Order 7: Bring me 15 more sexy women on their own accord!

(from this point on, this order replaces any number that is skipped)

Order 8: Mind control every bear in Canada!
Order 9: Bring me the cast of Loading Ready Run! Including Dale!
Order 10: Here's the deed to Canada guys. I also present you with this army of bears. Rule wisely.
Order 11: Dale! Say "40 POINTS OF ACID DAMAGE" into this mic! Cool you are now the owner of a books on tape company!
Order 13: Bring me Miyamoto!
Order 14: The 25th anniversary edition of SMB sucked! You shall work here until the 25th anniversary edition of Legend of Zelda is complete and it meets my standards!
Order 16: Bring me Yahtzee!
Order 17: Australia is yours, rule wisely. Also we're moving Valve to Australia.
Order 19: Move Valve to Australia!
Order 21: Bring me a 1964 Mustang!
Order 22: Bring me Ryan from West Coast Customs!
Order 23: Pimp this car up in 24 hours!
Order 24: Bring me 15 more sexy women on their own accord!

Oh yeah and solve world hunger and tribal warfare.

 

[Cazza]

Rate every person in the world with a system that shows how nice you are. Something like jerk to nice. everyone has to wear their tag. with everyone knows who is nice and who is bad everyone will try and be nicer. People are re tested every 6months to a year.

 

[Drakmorg]

I'd devote the world's resources towards building me an awesome self-sustaining flying doom fortress.

Then I'd float around the world, relaxing all day, being catered to by my attractive and skimpily dressed servants, and blow the living hell out of whatever I don't want around anymore.

 

[Scout Tactical]

Gather all the leaders of the various nations of the world and set up a plan to get everyone's shit together. Weed out the bullshit companies that have screwed up the world, I'm looking at you oil companies. Set up a basic quality of life that everyone can and should be able to enjoy (seriously we have the potential to feed the world but people's ignorance and self righteousness stops it) and set up a system in which people work to contribute to this basic quality of life.

Totally sincere when I ask, what would you do when all developed nations throughout the world stop functioning completely when they run out of oil due to no oil companies? That's definitely not enough time to sufficiently develop alternatives for heating, general electricity, and most importantly transportation in terms of energy.

I guess you could hoard the precious oil to yourself and become even more godlike in society. Not a bad idea, to be honest. Oil has always been the source of fortunes, so why not in your society, too?

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

Spoiler: PARTY!

 

[Ldude893]

"Cake for EVERYONE!"

*distributes cake to people of all world nations*

 

[kikon9]

I would put the entire world on a uniform currency system and make all the coins shaped like penises.

 

[Konaerix]

Expand my empire!

 

[Rednog]

Gather all the leaders of the various nations of the world and set up a plan to get everyone's shit together. Weed out the bullshit companies that have screwed up the world, I'm looking at you oil companies. Set up a basic quality of life that everyone can and should be able to enjoy (seriously we have the potential to feed the world but people's ignorance and self righteousness stops it) and set up a system in which people work to contribute to this basic quality of life.

Totally sincere when I ask, what would you do when all developed nations throughout the world stop functioning completely when they run out of oil due to no oil companies? That's definitely not enough time to sufficiently develop alternatives for heating, general electricity, and most importantly transportation in terms of energy.

I guess you could hoard the precious oil to yourself and become even more godlike in society. Not a bad idea, to be honest. Oil has always been the source of fortunes, so why not in your society, too?

I should've been more specific that I would actually hold various companies responsible for the bullshit they pull, ie BP in the Gulf, Shell in Africa. They commit pretty heinous destruction and no one does anything about it. I mean they are ruining people's lives and they cry about the fact that pirates are demolishing their crap, but when someone calls them on their human rights violations or the fact they pay governments off to look the other way they just stare at you blankly as if to say "lol wut".

 

[ethaninja]

Force R rated games in Australia.

 

[ChupathingyX]

Begin the great purge.

Of...? (Don't keep us in suspense!)

In short:

Spoiler

-PC gaming elitist snobs
-Fucking emos.
-Super patriotic yanks.
-Fox news.
-French Separatists
-People who don?t understand Socialism, yet hate it anyway.
-People who hate atheists because they don?t believe in a god.
-The Parents Television council and their nazi free speech suppression.
-Bobby motherfucking Kotick.
-Anti-Abortionists.
-People against gay marriage.
-People for the union of church and state.
-Bleeding heart liberals.
-Rich arrogant people.
-Affirmative action supporters.
-People who hate the military.
-Lawyers.
-Stock brokers.
-Greedy people.
-Racists.
-Pop stars.
-The cast from the jersey shore.
-Family first groups.
-People who won?t shut the fuck up about drugs.
-People who don?t believe in evolution.
-People against the legalization of marijuana.
-People who have an annoying laugh/voice and don?t shut up.
-Women who go nuts for little kids.
-Any religious extremists.
-The Vatican.
-People who think video games are raping the minds of America?s youth.
-Parents who let their little hellspawn run free unsupervised.
-People who advocate censorship.
-Mac elitists.
-Loud commercials.
-Stations that bleep out swearing on my favorite shows.
-Lazy people at fast food restaurants.
-Slow people who walk in front of me.
-Politicians.
-People who always want to fuck or party.
-Gaming pirates.
-Overprotective parents.
-People who hate smokers.
-PETA
-The Tea Party
-Overzealous moderators.
-Noobs.
-12 year olds on xbox live.
-Teamkilling fucktards.
-Video game fanboys.
-Pretentious art snobs.
-Insanely dedicated sports fans.
-People against punishing criminals.
-Alcoholics Anonymous.
-Most of my brother?s friends.
-Political Correctness.
-Airheaded girls.
-People who write fucked up fan fiction.
-Tech support.
-Gay people who keep trying to shove their sexuality down my throat.
-Black people who always play the race card.
-Illegal immigrants.
-Board of education.
-Paparazzi.
-Reality TV.
-"The fashion police"
-Beauty/slut/celebrity magazines.
-Angsty teenagers.
-Rappers.
-Companies that pull music off of youtube.
-Bankers.
-Weeaboos.
-Overimpatient people.
-The French.
-People who ***** about the government all the time.
-Certain charities and their guilt-tripping ways.
-Private healthcare.
-Over sensitive pussies.
-People who can?t take a joke.
-Feminist zealots.
-People who sue everyone.
-People who hate every genre of music that isn?t their own.
-Bros.
-People who don?t get shit.
-Women who use PMS as an excuse to be a *****.
-People with some sort of learning disability who use it as an excuse for shitty work.
-Ivy league schools.
-Religious schools.
-People who see the world as black and white.
-Politicians who halt the progress of science.
-The Japanese.
-People who believe they have the right to do whatever they want.
-Self-titled experts.
-Employees at stores who bother me.
-Gaming companies that turn out repetitive bullshit.
-Pikeys

Wrote a list when I was bored and home sick one day.

You want to kill all recists yet you list "The Japanese" on your list? Isn't that racisst? Especially considering you didn't give a reason.

Another thing that confuses me is that you wrote "rappers" yet you also wrote "People who hate every genre of music that isn?t their own." so does that mean you're gonna have to kill yourself?

 

[Zhalath]

TINY MINISKIRTS

Followed by taco eating.

I'll play the rest by ear.

 

[SoranMBane]

I'd perform a worldwide social experiment.

First step: Have every person in the world take a poll to determine their political beliefs. Their'll be only two options ("Communist" and "Libertarian") and the people will be instructed to choose the option that is closest to their beliefs, even if it's not a perfect match.

Second step: Split the world into two nations; one totally Communist, the other totally Libertarian. People will be sent to live in the nation that corresponds to their choice on the poll. After ten years, people will be allowed to switch nation if they want.

Third step: Kick back and take bets on what percentage of the Communist population will decide to high-tail it to Libertarian Land after those ten years are up.

... In all seriousness, though, I'd probably just hand everything to people that actually know what they're doing and then step down. As entertaining as it would be to watch the Commie nation wallow in directionless failure for a whole decade, I'd much rather see the world's governments put in capable hands and then reap the benefits as a regular citizen.

EDIT: Forgot about the taco coupon. Unless Jack in the Box has suddenly started selling organic vegetarian tacos, I'll be giving that to the Communists; they'll need all the food they can get to get them through that decade.

 

[blank0000]

what kind of control do I have? Was I freely elected? Did I concern the world? is society down with doing whatever I say/ do? Are their no political reporters to critic my methods? Am I RESPONSIBLE for keeping the world going?

 

[KeyMaster45]

I would begin with the glorious re-founding of Constantinople, and declaration of my divine mandate for all men. I would set up new provincial borders, based on revanchism. My grand design will eventually become a true Imperium of Man, and all lesser beings will tremble.

Glory to teh God Emperor! Incidentally, how long after the start of your reign can we expect chapters of the Space Marines to begin popping up?

OT: My first order of business is to do something I have long been proposing to people when discussions about the middle east crop up.

Phase 1: Evacuate the greater area known as the middle east and relocate its people to the Montana-ish area of the United States with plans for overflow into chunks of Canada should the need arise.

Phase 2: Any people who refused to leave the middle east will be subjected to indiscriminate carpet bombing as we do our damndest to wipe any traces of civilization from the area. We're going to need a clean slate for phase 3. (hey we gave them very advanced warning to leave in phase 1)

Phase 3: Sell/Donate the newly cleared land to the Walt Disney Corporation and Universal Studios.

Phase 4: Using their copious amounts of newly acquired land; Disney Corporation will be commissioned to begin work on Disney World: Arabia and I guess we'll let Universal do something more awesome along the lines of building Islands of Adventure on country wide scales.

Phase 5: Middle East BS is solved as after all this is complete I will have successfully united the entire group of people behind the singular cause of bringing me down. Thus ending all currently waging wars over offenses that happened centuries again. The world gets the two greatest theme parks ever created, old enemies become allies, and I get to have fun crushing a self-manufactured rebellion. Everybody wins!

 

[Nemesis729]

The first thing Id do? End organized religion, and at the same time end war so productive day lol

 

[Cheesus333]

Blow up the Moon. I'm curious as to what would happen.

 

[Ham_authority95]

I would take a million dollars of my own, study music business, open a record company, and hand control of the world to whomever I decide.

Running a label would be a lot less stressful than running the planet, plus it would kind of fulfill my dream of making an impact in the music scene.

 

[shadowstriker86]

TINY MINISKIRTS

0:26 i believe this is in order...

 

[Atticus89]

I'd probably take a risk and have a nap. Let's face it, if someone wants me dead they better show up so I know who my enemies are.