You wake up in a horror movie. What do you do?

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Custard_Angel

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Aug 6, 2009
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DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR.
 

serenityzero

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Dec 24, 2008
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Make a mental note to stay out of the basement, investigate no scary noises, do not open the door when no one is visible at the peep-hole, buy several guns, and wear a bathing suit in the shower. Can't stay a virgin, too late for that, so I guess I'm fucked. BADUM-BUM!
 

dementis

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Aug 28, 2009
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Be smart, turn lights on before entering a room, if they don't turn on then close the door, don't waste energy screaming while being chased, then check the back seat of my car before getting in, locking the doors and driving away to somewhere nice. :)
 

Assassin Xaero

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Jul 23, 2008
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Fine the douche bag and the slut - avoid them.
Stay away from the two story houses.
Move?

Wait... I'm a virgin, I'm safe... whew...
 

teebeeohh

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Jun 17, 2009
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not have sex. make sure i don't look like a minority.
try to save to wholesome blond all-american girl, she will survive and tyring to save her will be my best chance.
 

Feralcentaur

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Mar 6, 2010
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Never go near ANY source of water, don't go swimming in a lake, don't take a shower and don't have sex and don't be alone. Also, if the ominous music starts, RUN LIKE HELL. Edit: Or if that wouldn't work, join the crowd singing "MY LITTLE PPOOONNYYY! I USED TO WONDER WHAT FRIENDSHIP COULD BE!..." etc. the Murderer will be so disturbed, perplexed and mildly disgusted that he would just give up!
 

StellarViking

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Apr 10, 2011
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1. Don't have sex.
2. Follow signs and think each action through
3. Don't party.
4. Stay together.
5. Listen before opening a door.
6. Walk at a regular speed, don't run.
7. Stay in a well-lit area.
8. Stay alert.
9. Do not think you've escaped and breathe a sigh of relief.
10. Observing the above guidelines, wait calmly for an hour and a half or so until credits roll.


StevieG said:
Get accountability of my equipment, set up a defensive position and radio my unit for a pick up. Advise bringing armored vehicles or air assests. Kill anything that moves until I can confirm that friendly forces are on site.

Hooah hooah for being in the Army.

EDIT: Alternatively, just take my platoon and leave with the rest of the unit because the Army is NEVER around when shit goes down.
Or just hang out with this guy.
 

Xanadu84

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Apr 9, 2008
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Find a random person. Kill them in a Brutal fashion, similar to how the killer is killing people, and hide the body to be found later. Help the rest of the group work on there plan to take down the killer. There is no way that a copycat killer is going to just be randomly murdered during the course of the movie, or revealed before the twist ending. I won't be killed, my crime needs to be discovered while I'm still alive to build up tension. Inevitably, the killer would be stopped, everyone would be relieved, and then some hint, either to the characters or the audience, will let everyone know that I am the premise for a sequel. If it is just me and one other survivor, and the killer has been eliminated, then make sure that I am always standing behind the last person with a weapon. If they have a sudden look of shocked realization, always be ready to hit them with the weapon, and walk away dramatically. Then, I just never kill again. No sequel, I'm safe.
 

Xanadu84

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teebeeohh said:
not have sex. make sure i don't look like a minority.
try to save to wholesome blond all-american girl, she will survive and tyring to save her will be my best chance.
Not a bad plan, but it does give you only a 50/50 chance for survival. You may survive, or you may be forced to sacrifice your life to let the all American girl get away. You could refuse to sacrifice yourself, but then you will inevitably die a particularly gruesome death for your cowardice. Still, probably one of the more reliable plans you have there.
 

Krion_Vark

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Mar 25, 2010
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Go back to sleep because there is only 1 horror movie that deals with dreams but you never see someone who is sleeping get killed. And quite frankly I wouldn't mind fighting someone in a dream world.
 

droid

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Apr 15, 2009
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Consider all of the ways to get killed in a horror movie [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxD1Ffamhj8].
Laugh.
Die.
 

teebeeohh

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Jun 17, 2009
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Xanadu84 said:
teebeeohh said:
not have sex. make sure i don't look like a minority.
try to save to wholesome blond all-american girl, she will survive and tyring to save her will be my best chance.
Not a bad plan, but it does give you only a 50/50 chance for survival. You may survive, or you may be forced to sacrifice your life to let the all American girl get away. You could refuse to sacrifice yourself, but then you will inevitably die a particularly gruesome death for your cowardice. Still, probably one of the more reliable plans you have there.
hm the point at which i just hope the point at which i have to sacrifice myself is after the killer hanged and quartered, burned and his ashes scattered in the winds and the danger is the collapsing cave. then i will push the girl down a flight of stairs(if necessary) and become a beer-brewing monk to balance out my karma.