You wake up in a Utopian future...

[NeoShinGundam]

spoken in best Dr. Doom voice: I AM THE FUTURE LORD AND RULER OF ALL THAT YOU KNOW!!!

 

[-Ezio-]

I am optimus prime.

 

[Weslebear]

Vincel Dill Boris VII Iwazaruscof, I am scared of afros.

Anyone who gets this reference has an awesome taste in games. That is enough of a reward so no cookie for you =3.

 

[The Man With the Soap]

I am the Hero of Canton, the man they call...Jane.

 

[AvsJoe]

My name is Joseph J. Archibald.

I actually like my name and given the crisi-tunity I wouldn't change it. Sure I could change it to any one of the cool names and/or handles currently bouncing around in my head, but I would rather be known by my given name, middle initial, and surname, in that order.

They call me Tater Salad.

Hehehe

"Winnfield. Jules Winnfeild."

Soo cool!

 

[Sneaky Paladin]

" Me? I'm Doctor Gordan Freeman of the intergalactic house of pancakes. So was Half Life episode 3 released yet? "

Cookie for reference

 

[C95J]

I would Chuck Norris all of them and escape into the night.

 

[Varanfan9]

I am Mechagodzilla.

 

[Irony's Acolyte]

...or this...

Well that was weird. But oddly catchy...
[sub]om nom nom nom nom nom nom...[/sub]

OT: Well I guess I'd probably go by something that isn't really a name like "The Awoken" or "The Reborn". Or perhaps just "Subject 52". I'd keep my real name secret from everyone that I don't really trust that much.

 

[BenzSmoke]

" Me? I'm Doctor Gordan Freeman of the intergalactic house of pancakes. So was Half Life episode 3 released yet? "

Cookie for reference

Freeman's Mind!

OT: I'd probably give them my real name then ask what was going on.

 

[CJ1145]

"I am unit T-800, codename 'Terminator'. Come with me if you want to live."

I would then get up and leave the room as if I knew where the hell I was going, horribly confusing the two aliens unfortunate enough to be there.

Some honorable mentions:

1. Stand erect, and state "I am Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots." in my best Peter Cullen impression.

2. "They call me... The Count." I then break into a song and dance routine about my love of counting.

Spoiler: 3. Sing this whole damn song

Some people call me the space cowboy, yeah
Some call me the gangster of love
Some people call me Maurice
Cause I speak of the pompitous of love

People talk about me, baby
Say I'm doin' you wrong, doin' you wrong
Well, don't you worry baby
Don't worry
Cause I'm right here, right here, right here, right here at home

Cause I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun

I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I sure don't want to hurt no one

I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun

I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I get my lovin' on the run
Wooo Wooooo

You're the cutest thing
That I ever did see
I really love your peaches
Want to shake your tree
Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time
Ooo-eee baby, I'll sure show you a good time

Cause I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun

I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I get my lovin' on the run

I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun

I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I sure don't want to hurt no one

Wooo Woooo

People keep talking about me baby
They say I'm doin' you wrong
Well don't you worry, don't worry, no don't worry mama
Cause I'm right here at home

 

[open trap]

I would say Trevor, because that is my name

 

[Simskiller]

David Davidson reporting in.

 

[blankedboy]

"I am the Spy."
Then I would proceed to reach-stab them all.

 

[OneOfTheMichael's]

"This is not the droid you are looking for" /wave hand
or
"i r's mastrcef! swiowaffle! Mah roflcopter go soi soi soi soi soi' if i talk like the microsoft voice translator

 

[VelvetHorror]

I would probably go with "Mein name ist Adolf Hitler."

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

My name and title are Padishah Emperor Shaddam IV. What is the meaning of this?

I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?

I am Shrike.

My name is Mazer Rackham.

Call me Doctor.

It's John Smith.