We've all had a good share of incompetance in the AI of non-player characters, either from a quirk or mishape in their workings or from bad programming alltogether, and while most of the time it can fracture or outright sodden the game's immersion, sometimes they'll throw an utterly ridiculous scinerio that's so downright funny you'll want to pay more attention to it than continue with what the game would normally want you to do. If you've ever had such a situation, share with us one of your stories involving or the result of bad AI decisions.
I'll start off with one I had recently. The game which provided the experience was Fallout: New Vegas. You'd think all the humor and glitches it has would be enough for the poor game, but now the AI had to get in on the quirkiness of Fallout..
I was following down one of the rivers of Zion Canyon, one of New Vegas' DLC locations, with all but the moon's reflection as the only source of light, when two tribals in red and white war paint jumped down from a rock ledge to the right to attack. Both were using close ranged weapons. I took the first one down easy from a burst of my snazzy laser-spitting tommy gun. In that short time the second attacker had decided to go for my NPC partner, a bald tribal girl who used a bear claw for a weapon. Normally she's able to take care of herself, so I put away my gun and helped myself to the first guy's valuable tomahawks to sell for later, to which I'd then wait for my partner to take down the second and repeat the same process on. But what happened when I turned around to see them?
They were both cuddling in the water.
Yes, cuddling.
If you've played Fallout 3 or New Vegas, you'll remember that they're one of those games where you can't use your weapons in the water, and all you can do is watching your player loop through his or her swimming animations until you've made it back onto a traversable surface. Even though my battle first took place on dry land away from any wetness, my partner must have strafed into the river while I was gunning down the first attacker like a retro-futuristic gangster Stormtrooper from the 1920's, and the second attacker jumped in with her.
But the bloody battle-to-the-death the game had set up did not go as it had predicted, however, as the two had fallen in love so swiftly and so significantly that the two tribal warriors, both taken pleasure in the sight of their enemy's blood, decided to instead take pleasure in each other and immediately sheathed their tribial rivlaries without question or any hint of a second thought to lovingly embrace in the water, throwing their wet painted arms around each other in the gleaming moonlight. It would've been the perfect moment of romance in New Vegas, had the two decided to cease spouting battle threats at one another. "Yield!" shouted the girl in all her sharp seriousness. "Un niyaway wichoo." replied the tribal dryly. Either old habits die hard for the local tribes or that was tribal talk for "I love you, girl".
This went on for a good three minutes, with me just standing there watching, wondering if inside that stern and intimidating NCR ranger helmet my character was all sweaty and eager with sick anticipation, hoping for some in-water Tasmanian devil-like scene of passion that she'd get to watch and pleasure herself to like the Vegas sleezeball she was.
Two seconds later?
The game crashed.
Yes, apparently the game, so prideful in it's masculine laser battles, was so ashamed of the hanky-panky scene it had created that it committed Japanese ritual suicide on the spot and threw me back to my Windows desktop, depicting a Garry's Mod screenshot of Ellis from Left 4 Dead 2, high enough on adrenniline that he was running through the loop-de-loops of the Green Hill Zone.
Fortunately I had quick-saved during their affair. I guess I had the same sick desire as my character and wanted to make sure some post-apacolyptic loving was assured. And when I loaded the game back up, not only were they still together in the water...
...but my partner was now underwater, with her arms around his waist.
I don't think I need to go into too much detail about what was happening..you'd think the tribal chiefs, with one being an intelligent white man, would've taught these people about howfirst, second and third base work. But no, there she was, underwater like some sort of aboriginal hooker at work. And if you don't think it gets any weirder...she drowned. Within the minute she was floating lifelessly on the water's surface. Yeah, I had no idea NPC's in Fallout could drown, but she did. Then next thing I know I'm getting pounded on by the tribal's bladed gaunlet as if everything was my fault or he was expecting my character to take over for my now-deceased partner, and was beating on me for not putting out fast enough. Mostly due to the immense laughter I was encased in, I died before I could retaliate. Weird way to go, but I wouldn't doubt if weirder has happened in Vegas..
That's my story, and I'll likely share another later on. Until then, is there any story of AI mishaps you can share?
I'll start off with one I had recently. The game which provided the experience was Fallout: New Vegas. You'd think all the humor and glitches it has would be enough for the poor game, but now the AI had to get in on the quirkiness of Fallout..
I was following down one of the rivers of Zion Canyon, one of New Vegas' DLC locations, with all but the moon's reflection as the only source of light, when two tribals in red and white war paint jumped down from a rock ledge to the right to attack. Both were using close ranged weapons. I took the first one down easy from a burst of my snazzy laser-spitting tommy gun. In that short time the second attacker had decided to go for my NPC partner, a bald tribal girl who used a bear claw for a weapon. Normally she's able to take care of herself, so I put away my gun and helped myself to the first guy's valuable tomahawks to sell for later, to which I'd then wait for my partner to take down the second and repeat the same process on. But what happened when I turned around to see them?
They were both cuddling in the water.
Yes, cuddling.
If you've played Fallout 3 or New Vegas, you'll remember that they're one of those games where you can't use your weapons in the water, and all you can do is watching your player loop through his or her swimming animations until you've made it back onto a traversable surface. Even though my battle first took place on dry land away from any wetness, my partner must have strafed into the river while I was gunning down the first attacker like a retro-futuristic gangster Stormtrooper from the 1920's, and the second attacker jumped in with her.
But the bloody battle-to-the-death the game had set up did not go as it had predicted, however, as the two had fallen in love so swiftly and so significantly that the two tribal warriors, both taken pleasure in the sight of their enemy's blood, decided to instead take pleasure in each other and immediately sheathed their tribial rivlaries without question or any hint of a second thought to lovingly embrace in the water, throwing their wet painted arms around each other in the gleaming moonlight. It would've been the perfect moment of romance in New Vegas, had the two decided to cease spouting battle threats at one another. "Yield!" shouted the girl in all her sharp seriousness. "Un niyaway wichoo." replied the tribal dryly. Either old habits die hard for the local tribes or that was tribal talk for "I love you, girl".
This went on for a good three minutes, with me just standing there watching, wondering if inside that stern and intimidating NCR ranger helmet my character was all sweaty and eager with sick anticipation, hoping for some in-water Tasmanian devil-like scene of passion that she'd get to watch and pleasure herself to like the Vegas sleezeball she was.
Two seconds later?
The game crashed.
Yes, apparently the game, so prideful in it's masculine laser battles, was so ashamed of the hanky-panky scene it had created that it committed Japanese ritual suicide on the spot and threw me back to my Windows desktop, depicting a Garry's Mod screenshot of Ellis from Left 4 Dead 2, high enough on adrenniline that he was running through the loop-de-loops of the Green Hill Zone.
Fortunately I had quick-saved during their affair. I guess I had the same sick desire as my character and wanted to make sure some post-apacolyptic loving was assured. And when I loaded the game back up, not only were they still together in the water...
...but my partner was now underwater, with her arms around his waist.
I don't think I need to go into too much detail about what was happening..you'd think the tribal chiefs, with one being an intelligent white man, would've taught these people about howfirst, second and third base work. But no, there she was, underwater like some sort of aboriginal hooker at work. And if you don't think it gets any weirder...she drowned. Within the minute she was floating lifelessly on the water's surface. Yeah, I had no idea NPC's in Fallout could drown, but she did. Then next thing I know I'm getting pounded on by the tribal's bladed gaunlet as if everything was my fault or he was expecting my character to take over for my now-deceased partner, and was beating on me for not putting out fast enough. Mostly due to the immense laughter I was encased in, I died before I could retaliate. Weird way to go, but I wouldn't doubt if weirder has happened in Vegas..
That's my story, and I'll likely share another later on. Until then, is there any story of AI mishaps you can share?
