Your Best Conversation Killer?

[Stammer]

"Christ!....I WAS FROZEN TODAY!!!"

(makes sense in context)

Wow it took 29 posts before someone said that??

As for myself, I can't kill conversations. Which is a really bad trait of mine because sometimes I invite a friend of mine over to play video games and as he walks out the door he spends typically 2 to 4 hours talking. That's right. If he was ready to leave at midnight he wouldn't actually exit the house until 4:00am.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

Talk about computer related topics to a non geek.

I swear I was just trying to tell my sisters friend about photobucket becuase she wanted someplace to store her phone pics. I may aswell have been talking about my home on mars the way they both looked at me.

"If I could fuck any girl in the world it would be David Bowie"

Dude I would totes agree with you.

 

[bluewolf]

If one of my friends is annoying me I will say to him: you remember that time in red dead redemption when that guy annoyed me so I beat the shit out of him, shot him in the foot, hogtied him and left him on the traintracks?

 

[Eiv]

"Put your hands up if you have Aids?!"

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Any joke that ends with 'The Aristocrats' as the punchline.

 

[artanis_neravar]

Raise your hand if you have a grandmother....*point at someone with their hand up*...not so fast"

 

[monstersquad]

Here's something my friend said to me spontaneously while we were watching Dexter, it still makes me laugh out loud 6 months later.

"Once upon a time, there was a serial rapist....."

 

[Macheteswordgun]

I like the smell of women farting. Just try to think of a response. Or if you get one, You might have an interesting weekend if your into that.

Also Big Floppy Donkey Dick. That will end a conversation.

 

[CardinalPiggles]

WARNING: MINE IS QUITE RUDE!!!

Spoiler

do you like anal?

im so sorry... but it really does work!

 

[TheAceTheOne]

All I have to do is be there to kill a conversation. I'm that awkward.

Same.

On topic: "So, yeah, I saw your internet history... Lotta baaaaad stuff on- Oh, that was mine, my bad."

Not sure if that'll be too good to use, but I did it once and my friend shot milk outta his nose as a result.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

This girl I work with likes to interject into other peoples conversations with "My Mother is Dead!" It really kinda sucks...

Why don't you say 'So is mine!' and put your hand up for a high five.

 

[General Vagueness]

explaining physics, delving into what little I know of quantum physics if I have to, or explaining popular music if the person is into physics

 

[Hawk eye1466]

Randomly interupt whoever your talking to and just yell "JUST DANCE GONNA BE OKAY DO DO DO JUST DANCE!"

or as soon as they stop talking no matter what they say just reply with "kinky"

or "am I the only one with a huge boner right now?"

 

[proctorninja2]

my favorite one is to just striaght up rub ur nipples, when the person sees it you can stop or just smile and enjoy it though now its become an inside joke among my friends for insted of nosies its nipples

 

[The Shade]

"You're sitting in it now."

"Contagious? Contagious, I said! Real contagious, he said."

"So as of this morning, I quit my medication. Homicidal tendencies be damned!"

"So then I realized that the doctor was a ventriloquist and it was his dummy that was giving me the exam.

 

[Vivace-Vivian]

"I liked Final fantasy XIII."

Shut, down.

 

[bob-2000]

My favorite two:
"Sometimes I eat sand."
"Huh, I have a sudden crazing for legal sized paper."

 

[bob-2000]

"You're sitting in it now."

"Contagious? Contagious, I said! Real contagious, he said."

"So as of this morning, I quit my medication. Homicidal tendencies be damned!"

"So then I realized that the doctor was a ventriloquist and it was his dummy that was giving me the exam.

Sorry for the double post, but you, sir, have an excellent taste in comics.