your child is transgendered

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Let's say you have a child and as they grow up you notice they're not like other kids. THey're either unusually effeminate or tomboyish, liking my little pony or transformers over what you would normally expect for a child.

I liked My Little Pony as a little boy. Didn't make me trans. It just meant I liked a good cartoon (and an earlier, okay one). You're not trans ebcause you don't fit gender stereotypes.

This.

Anyway, I would need my partner's help on this one because I know I'm pretty inadequately equipped to process it all by myself and be the supportive role needed as they grow up outside of the traditional societal mold. I will always love them and finding out my child is trans won't change that. I'm just not sure I could do it alone right now.

 

[FrankatronX]

"So long as it makes you happy and if you can afford it, when you are 18 you can do whatever you want to yourself. You're my child and I love you anyway!"

I have this one prepared for in advance. the great thing is this applies to tattoos and piercings and almost anything else that may come up regarding the personal choices of my future kids.

 

[Kanova]

Try my hardest to make them normal and if it didn't work, probably disown them, send them to live with grandpa and grandma. Unlike every single other person on this forum, I am just super uncomfortable with those people, and if my own kid was one I would be having zero part in it.

 

[Silvanus]

Firstly, I'd try to be as understanding and reassuring as possible, and make sure they knew they weren't alone, and that other people have that experience, too.

I'd be quite afraid I'd make a mistake if I trusted only my own judgement, though, so I'd seek advice from an expert (or more than one), preferably with the kid present if practical.

 

[natenate95]

At 13? hell no.

Even at 18 I would wait a few more years. Y'all look back on your teenage selves recently? What a shitstorm that was.

Not sure I would ever support it, but if they're an adult they can make their own decisions.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Try my hardest to make them normal and if it didn't work, probably disown them, send them to live with grandpa and grandma. Unlike every single other person on this forum, I am just super uncomfortable with those people, and if my own kid was one I would be having zero part in it.

I'm super uncomfortable about it but "normal" is a fickle concept and I want the kid to be happy with whatever he/she identifies as.

 

[happyninja42]

this is for everyone but as a transgirl myself, I have become curious.

Let's say you have a child and as they grow up you notice they're not like other kids. THey're either unusually effeminate or tomboyish, liking my little pony or transformers over what you would normally expect for a child.

And they're not growing out of it. In fact they're expressing a strong desire to become the opposite gender, saying that they want medicine to change them....

How, as a parent, would you handle this? Bear in mind we are talking about someone roughly around 13 years old.

What would you do, and why?

I would probably sit down with them and ask them why they feel they need to have medical/surgical treatments to change who they are. I mean, as a kid, you think up a lot of weird shit that you want to do, but then change your mind about. I personally wouldn't have a problem with the choice, but I don't think I would allow them to do any type of surgery until they were a legal adult. (Can you even do that kind of surgery/treatment stuff on a minor? I dunno) I'd see if it's something they change their mind on as they get older, and if they do change their mind, then fine. If they stick with it, then I would see about how to best handle the surgery/treatment stuff.

I mean, once they are able to give legal consent, it's not really my call anymore.

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

Still a child. So they can not make a choice till they are 18. Now people may moan but the youngest trans gen person in the UK given surgery reverted back to there original gender. So i think its a hard choice to make and one a kid can not make - once they are 18 they can do whatever they want. Funny how people agree with age restrictions on smoking, sex, gay sex and driving but think there is no age limit to changing your gender. A child doesnt have the capability to know what they want when it comes to gender or anything else that is life changing.

 

[Gennadios]

13 years old? One of my relatives has a trans child and it was pretty obvious at 8.

Personally it wouldn't be much of an issue if I had more than one kid, slight disappointment if it was an only child. I'd like at least some biological reproduction for my blood line.

Regardless, options are to push the child into the closet and raise a neurotic mess or let them do their thing and have a decent chance of producing a well adjusted trans child.

No surgery until they can support it though, meaning a job with health benefits.

 

[Dango]

OK.

Just be like "Hey, that's cool. Do your thing, as long as you know you won't regret it."

 

[chinangel]

I can't really imagine my kid would be in that disposition. OP will probably go into hysterics when I say this but I firmly believe we all are a product of both our genes and our environment. My parents raised me to believe theres no such thing as gay or straight and that societal idiosyncrasies are self-inflicted. the raised me to do whatever to best for me at that time. I was so embedded in learning more important lessons early on, worrying about my sexual orientation wasn't even on my radar. As such I will do my utmost to make sure the patterns my kids will be exposed to early will not box them into concepts of gender or even social normality. Whether they are male or female will have absolutely to impact or affect on who they are as a person. They can worry about whether they identify as a boy or a girl when they're done doing their homework of which I will make sure theres an unlimited supply of. Not because I'm afraid to explain the birds and the bees to them but because there's a million more important things in life to be fretting over.

I can't help but wonder if the OP didn't just have a fight with someone close or is considering coming out and causing one. My advice? Expend that energy into something useful. Quit worrying about what parents think or which dress or pantsuit looks best today. TIME IS WASTING!

Mmmm, nice try but no.

I came out years ago and i didn't have an arguement. It was inspired by a video of parents who learned that their daughter was transgendered and have been helping her, now him, deal with the world. it was touching to see how strong these parents were and how intelligent this young boy was.

It made me wonder how many others would be able to deal with it.

 

[Vault101]

snip.

gender sterotypes =/= ones sexual orientation

oh hell your gender full stop doesn't determine your sexual orientation

[quote/]She'll only go after the manliest of dudes and I wouldn't have to put up with some mewling limp wristed leftist at family parties.[/quote]
ahh the ole femininity is inferior...

[I/]but there's no mysoagny here! no siree![/I]

 

[norashepard]

High five them, ask what to call them now, and then immediately book a therapist appointment so we could start the transition process ASAP.

Anything less is the product of someone who doesn't understand what being trans is or someone who doesn't trust their kid to know themselves.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

High five them, ask what to call them now, and then immediately book a therapist appointment so we could start the transition process ASAP.

At thirteen? Isn't that a little too soon?

 

[norashepard]

High five them, ask what to call them now, and then immediately book a therapist appointment so we could start the transition process ASAP.

At thirteen? Isn't that a little too soon?

Kids make the decision to kill themselves at thirteen so I'd say it's just about the right time.

Besides, you can't actually get any permanent surgery until you're 18, have visited two separate therapists for a decent time, and been on hormones for nearly two years anyway (in most of the US anyhow). In most cases, kids under 18 are given puberty blockers which keeps things from happening, but are COMPLETELY reversible. The only other option is (especially if your kid is male to female) letting puberty ravage their body and SEVERELY increasing their risks for all sorts of mental pain and suicide, and making it impossible in some cases to EVER transition later on, effectively damning them to a life of self hatred, not to mention external hatred as well.