Your Favorite Zero Punctuation Quote

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zyoto12

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Aug 23, 2009
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Ozzythecat said:
Alpha Protocol

"Mike Thornton is the ponciest ponce to ponce by the poncing parlor"

I remember just laughing myself into a ball,
ninja'd. Would also like to add: "I am a monster truck that walks like a man"-Darksiders
 

Teh Roflchoppa

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Jun 24, 2009
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"..And when manually aiming my pistol seemed more accurate than my rifle because my rifle sights look like I'm aiming down a F***ING BRICK" - New Vegas Review

Oh I almost choked to death laughing.
 

Klarinette

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May 21, 2009
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DevilWolf47 said:
Prince of Persia Retrospective:

Never stick your dick in a pudding. Yeah it might still be good pudding and you can spend all day explaining it but nobody's gonna eat it because YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT.
Hahahaha, I love that one. Sound logic.

I like any of the ones where he belittles me and says something along the lines of 'yay for you'. It's just funny. And I like the metaphores he uses; I'm a fan of metaphores and use them frequently in my daily speech, which confuses the hell of the people who don't talk to me often enough to know that that's just what I do.
 

KingofallCosmos

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Nov 15, 2010
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not especially my favourite, but:

Dead space 2

Everyone is as attached to their limbs as that mountain climber guy
 

garmaniac

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Aug 24, 2010
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The Sims 3

"I guess my point is all women are evil, bewitching us with their insidious emotions. Who needs them, incidentally I'm still not gay."

I watched this right after I got dumped recently, comforted me somehow. Thanks Yahtzee.
 

ImBigBob

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Dec 24, 2008
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"Other ways to tempt fate in this universe include wearing a helmet, not having a sense of humor, and basically being anyone but the kind of person who would replace their genitals with a minigun if they thought they could get away with it and find something else they could piss out of."

"Sometimes, popular things are popular for a reason: Because they're good. Or because Will Smith is in it."

-Gears of War 2
 

Alphakirby

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May 22, 2009
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Simple "This is like Zelda meets There Will Be Blood!" (Note:Quote may not be 100% accurate)
 

Nesutaa

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Nov 9, 2009
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"OH PISSING BLIMEY, THERE'S JAM COMING OUT OF THE WALLS!!!"- Amnesia: The Dark Descent

"Anyway, here's America's latest virginal howler monkey sex fantasy, Call of Duty: Black Ops. Another opportunity for the Call of Duty franchise to wave military hardware in our faces and go 'PHWOARR!!!'" - Call of Duty: Black Ops

"I AM A MONSTER TRUCK THAT WALKS LIKE A MAN!"- Darksiders

"God knows what would happen if you spread Branston pickle on No More Heroes, possibly the universe would explode. And it would be awesome."- No More Heroes
 

XMark

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Jan 25, 2010
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Bosoms, melons, milk factories, busts, funbags, knockers, ballistics, boobies, jugs, nipples, jubblies, STONKING GREAT TITS!
 

Jmurray21

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Feb 7, 2011
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DevilWolf47 said:
Prince of Persia Retrospective:

Never stick your dick in a pudding. Yeah it might still be good pudding and you can spend all day explaining it but nobody's gonna eat it because YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT.
Damn you took mine. that episode was so funny and that quote never gets old.
 

Varitel

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Jan 22, 2011
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This may have already been said, but from the Just Cause 2 review:

"Just Cause 2's relationship with realism is limited to a fleeting farewell peck on the cheek before leaping aboard Leprechaun flight 101 to the dark side of Mars"

That's my favorite ZP quote.
 

game-lover

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Dec 1, 2010
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Wow... I was ninja'd many times here. The Halo Wars rant at the end was so damn hilarious I laughed so long and hard I could barely breathe. And I played back that very part just to laugh again.

Anyway, I'll pick one of the others oens I liked, probably for the animation with it.


"One time my health was low but not dangerously low so I was going to take a small herb to keep me going when I see my partner rushing towards me with a valuable large herb. Now when you're running from your support character with more desperate terror than you've felt for any of the actual monsters, something has obviously gone wrong somewhere."

RE 5


That had me snickering for ages. I replayed it over too just to re enjoy it.
 

mitchell271

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Sep 3, 2010
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Let me just transcribe my thought process at the time. "Dum de dum. Well this isn't very scary. Oh look, physics! I can throw chairs around like a removal man who completely stopped giving a shit. Doors blowing open in the wind? Yawn-o-rama. Guess I'll just look upstairs then I might as well little bit. Nope, nothing much up here either. I'll just go back and... Woah, what was that thing I just glimpsed running down a hallway? I don't know but it looked cross about something so I think I'll go down this other hallway instead. Oh, it's blocked. Guess I'll turn around and WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?! AUGH RUN RUN RUN RUN I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO MESS YOUR CHAIRS UP OH PISSING BLIMEY THERE'S JAM COMING OUT OF THE WALLS"

I know that when't on for a while but the whole is just so funny.
 

Solo-Wing

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Dec 15, 2010
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Infernai said:
"Never stick your dick in a pudding: It's still good pudding, and you can spend all night telling everyone that, but noones going to eat it BECAUSE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT!"
What one was that again?
 

Evil Moo

Always Watching...
Feb 26, 2011
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"I still think it'd have been more credible if the villains had been an army of disgruntled insect people from the Earth's core... *long pause* ... *everyone looks around expectantly* ... Wearing silly hats!"

From Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X.

Gets me every time. :D
 

Ironman126

Dark DM Overlord
Apr 7, 2010
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Cryogenic_Echelon said:
Dante's inferno (I think)

"why would they do a dual upgrade system? well i replied its like my hand on a sunday night, whys that you ask?
IT BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF ME"
This. This is the single greatest thing Yahtzee has ever uttered. And yes, it was Dante's Inferno.
 

noxymoron19

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Feb 4, 2011
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The entire Demons's's's Souls.

-I immedietly turned the corner and was flattened by a giant turd monster...Things weren't going very well.

-No shit Buttmuch

-...Where this lady with pancakes stitched to her face...

Just a couple of examples of his awesomness
 

Andy of Comix Inc

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Apr 2, 2010
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"You're wearing your armour in a pocket of your armour!!" -RE5

"'I'm not a fanboy-' ...yes you are." -Mailbox

"To put it charitably - the game is fucking ugly." -The Conduit

"BEDEEP BEDEEP BEDEEP BEDEEP" -The Conduit
 

fdbluth

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Dec 31, 2010
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"Jack Slate... who missed a golden opportunity when he chose policing rather than opening a roofing business..."

That makes me laugh out loud every time for some weird reason. It's a stupid pun, but goddamn it, it just rubs me the right way.