Your Favourite Zero Punctuation Quotes!

[jhonka]

My favourite is the GOOD Tomb Raider review:
"In reviewing tomb raider anniversary, I feel a strong temptation to rely on cheap laughs" Which is joined with a picture of a clown doing the double handed victory sign and having a price tag labeled 50% off.

And ofcourse the end: "bussoms, melons, milkfactories, busts, funbags, knockers, ballistics, boobies, jugs, nipples, jubblies, stonking great tits!!
Priceless.

"Jericho shows excatly how far we have come, with the levels being in order: brown ruins, more brown ruins, brown castle, more brown castle and revenge of the brown castle."

 

[Mannion89]

it shoots shurikens and lightning, it could only be more awsome if it had tits .... and was on fire

classic

 

[Grabtharr]

I thought the term "Soapy titwank" was an asset to my lexicon.

Agreed.
Personally, one that kills me every time is "oh wook, he's a doggy! Mash up his widdle face and call him 'Chips'"
Also: "but hypothetically, if I wasn't an idiot and talked him (Liam Neeson) into doing voices for my video game, I'd have him voice a character named 'Captain DYNAMITE!' who has the face of Frank Zappa and nuclear missiles instead of legs. He'd fly around the player in a magic space buggy for the entire course of the game sprinkling rose petals and friendship."

 

[Rolling 20]

"You get to eat shit space cowboy"

 

[Specter_]

go team retard

unhelpfull, but fuckin funny

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[AngelSword]

"Fable II is less of a sequel; more like an upgrade of Fable I, warts and all. It just tries to distract from the flaws by going, 'Oh, wook! He's a doggie! Mash up his wittle face and call him Chips.'"

 

[MaxFan]

"it all comes down to what you personally prefer in a console"

Not the quote itself, but the background animation of Yahtzee holding up a keyboard.

 

[Mr0llivand3r]

"it was imaginative, witty, and charming enough to totally bypass my usual male instinct to steer clear of brightly colored cartoony graphics for fear of catching The Gay."
i can honestly say that i laughed for a good 15 minutes when he said "The Gay". the fact that he referred to gayness as a disease, and the way he used it was absolutely priceless

"... to make them clean toilets and fuck."

"He has a magical hand that shoots bees, and that's why he takes the prize, becuase no matter who you are, the moment you're compared to a magical hand that shoots bees, you're going to f(bleep)king LOSE" (the bleep makes it perfect)

 

[Otaru Ikari]

I got a few of his jokes I like.

From his Smash Bros. Brawl Review:
"Engineering a scenario in which Mario can beat the ever loving stupid out of Princess Peach while the crowd screams for blood is very satisfying."

From his Braid Review:
"And do you know who I blame for all this? YOU! Yes you! The public! Especially you Adrian! That probably isn't your name but it was fun to mess with all the Adrians in the world."

From GTA4 Review: (may not be correct but along those lines)
"While steel lamp posts snap like a twig when anything heavier than a kitten leans on them, mother nature continues to reign supreme as my rampage was brought to an abrupt end by the world's toughest poplar tree, causing Niko to go hurling through the windshield wincingly painful as it was FUCKING AWESOME!"

From Oblivion Review:
"He took one look at the camera floating behind my character's head and said "Oh bloody you're the protagonist. Guess I better die now!"

From Soul Calibur 4:
"What's there to get? Violence is cathartic. It's like squeezing a big angry stress ball except you're kicking it in the face, and you're a skinny Japanese schoolgirl in your underpants."

From Umbrella Chronicles:
"Umbrella Chronicles is a heavily cut down retread of the 3 major Resident Evil games, starring Johnny Bravo, a prostitute, an idiot, a mullet, a 9 year old boy, a brick shithouse, and Carlos."

I'll think of more when I can.

 

[ffxfriek]

Done before just to let you know.

GO TEAM RETARD!

Makes me laugh every time.

probably this one was the best

 

[sanomaton]

"Go Team Retard!" is one of my favourites as well, cracks me up every single time. Here's some others that made me fall off my chair laughing:

"It's like when you tell a joke and nobody laughs. You explain the joke and people go, "Oh that's pretty clever I guess" but they still won't laugh cos you didn't tell the joke properly in the first place!"

"Ba-dum tish"

"Never stick your dick in a pudding. It might still be good pudding and you can spend all afternoon explaining that but no one's gonna eat it cos you stack your dick in it!"

Oh yeah, and I laughed so bad that I actually cried in Guitar Hero World Tour review when the guy was screaming "OI!" and the drums looked at the guy going "WOT".

 

[Neo Kojiro]

"Well, it's certainly not you, becuase you've just been upgraded to dickhead, and a presumptious dickhead, at that."

The wanking visual is what really made it funny, i think.

 

[Spectre39]

My most enjoyed quote was not necessarily what he said, but how he said it.

Mirrors Edge review: "...so he did, and then he ate his own shoes."

also

"...you can take a wild guess and jump straight off, hoping that solid ground can be will into existence from the land of dreams."

 

[Calax]

"Pants on head retarded"
"Go team Retard"
"Just for once I'd like to see a spaceship that actually seemed like a nice place to live"
"horray for captain ambitious over here."
"It suffers from Indigo Prophecy syndrome"

 

[AngelSword]

Wait! I've got another one:

"(From Left 4 Dead)"As I said, it's up to you if this is all work $50. But then, of course, I paid $100 for Mirror's Edge. So apparently, I'm a retard"

Sorry.

 

[Otaru Ikari]

What review is that dick in pudding joke?

 

[Zarake]

"It's not as fun as twanging another man's balls, as much as it used to be.....I'm not gay."

 

[y8c616]

"I backed her into a corner to get a view of her nice juicy..... thighs"
or "... and whistled for a babboon!"

also the entire sketch after The Witcher review " 20 minutes... round the back... puffer fish"

 

[merf1350]

I can't remember the exact quote, and I'm not gonna waste my time looking through all the videos for it, but he mad a comment at the end of on vid, something along the lines of "like a menstruating woman jumping off a building, it breaks flow."