My first post in the thread "Breaking up, and how to deal with it.". Suffice to say my ex had just broken up with me and I wasn't feeling the greatest I had. But I'm all better from that now, and changed quite alot, seems like ages ago. Was responding to a post of the late Darth Mobius':
Darth Mobius:
Yeah, I know... Maybe, if I start thinking about it, I can forgive humanity.. (And yes, I DO hate humanity as a whole... or at least mistrust it...) I know that for every shining example of a shitbag there is at least one good person. You and Angel.Slayer are examples. And yes, I do resent myself a little for my past mistakes... Mainly because I can't seem to stop picking up the burden of my past mistakes, and fear I am not doing things in the correct manner again... I love Jallil and want to be with her because she maes me happy, but on a deep level, I am afraid I am just like every other scumbag I have known... I don't want to hurt her again, she doesn't deserve it. And I fear that my lack of trust may be hurting her... I think I need some more time to contemplate WHY I have this deep mistrust of people so I can finally get over it... And I know JUST where to start....
Me:
im right with ya there mate. its not that i hated humanity or ever did really but ive just had a really hard time trusting ppl, like they were always out to stick a knife in my back, i mistrusted ppl long before i cud ever remotely trust them in my eyes, even my parents, which was really bad. i have my friends in college to thank for making me see that there are some ppl you dont trust(like a certain ex girlfriend stealing ex "friend" bastard who shall remain nameless)and ppl you trust, well not with your life but you trust them to be there for you and for you to be able to talk to them about anything like i know i can with my friends.
when i was going out with my ex 5 months ago my old mistrust issue crept back up again cause this was my first relationship and i didnt want to give away my heart if i knew it was going to be broken straight away, however my ex did truely love me and i ended up hurting her because of my mistrust, we only broke up several weeks ago but there isnt a day i dont think of how stupid i was not to trust her, she did so many things for me and i let her down. it didnt help that she instantly started going out with someone i regarded as one of my "true friends", which just proves i mistrusted the wrong person in the grand scheme of things. i dont automatically distrust ppl anymore, but i will careful who i trust after wats happened in this episode.
needless to say that guy has been cut from my life, him and my ex wont last and i know she will be back but im not gunna stoop down to his level and grab her as soon as they break up, im gunna wait for her to come to me cause i know she will, eventually, and ill be waiting to make everything better. she even told me she trusts me more than her current "bf", he just got pwned lol.