Your grown-up kid is gay

[HyenaThePirate]

I really, really do not like you. At all. Entirely. Either you're a child, and thus, really shouldn't be posting here, or you are simply an entirely, wholly contemptible person. What kind of wretch are you, to put something as tawdry and malleable as beliefs or ideals, over a person you love, care for, raised.....Seriously. Explain it to me. Explain what the fuck is so important in your beliefs that it overrules something as important as love.

I can understand being uncomfortable with homosexuals. I can understand thinking 'well, maybe some of them are going a bit to far'. I can understand considering it unnatural. I can not, I honestly cannot physically comprehend, though, abandoning a child, a child you loved, cherished and raised, in essence, destroying them...for what!? For what purpose, for what reason!? Damn you sir, explain this....utter, abject...insanity! This viciousness, this unnatural, monstrous coldness in your nature, it repells me so!

You understand alot apparently... except the concept of a person having personal moral beliefs and personal OPINION.

Additionally, don't you find it slightly ironic and/or hypocritical to revile and despise ME for my opinion knowing nothing about me beyond a statement? Seriously, you 'hate me' for calmly going my own way and believing what I believe?

Sadly, in the end you aren't any better than me. I'm just brave enough to stick to my guns where my beliefs are concerned, which is the hardest thing a person can do.
Mind you, I never said I would no longer "Love" my child, just that I would no longer be a part of their LIFE since their lifestyle choice is at odds with my own views. What should I have done? PRETEND to tolerate it? Smile and live a lie and say "hey it's ok you're gay! I support that!" and then turn around and revile their activities behind their back? I didn't tell them to stop being gay or try to control their life or change who they are. I simply accepted it and removed myself from the situation which some could argue is the more appropriate thing to do.

THe alternative would be for me to condemn them openly and have my child spend the rest of their life trying to either tip-toe around me, ashamed of themselves, or living with the endless condemnation of their parent.

At least my way, they can be free.

 

[The Hairminator]

See if I could do anything to turn him straight again. If that failed I'd have to accept it.

You can't "turn" a gay person straight. It really doesn't work that way.

He might just be unsure about it. And besides, I wouldn't know.

 

[Jinx_Dragon]

There is a comedian out there called 2. He likes to rant. One rant he did was on parents who disown their gay children. I don't think I can top what he said.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6StJbP5lmwI

It defiantly isn't a choice, who the hell would want to be gay in this society?!
Besides, my own sexual history isn't all straight.

 

[chronobreak]

Ffs, why do you think I care what you have to say about me? Here's an idea, if you think you have something to say about me that I haven't either already thought about myself or been called to my face by people far better than you, then have a second think about posting it. I have a very (un)healthy ego and a very high sense of self-esteem. Nothing any one says or does will alter my opinions, my thoughts, or my feelings towards myself. Get over it already. I may be a flamer from time to time, but I'm well and truly flame-proof. The harder you flame, the harder I laugh.

Stop posting shit about my sometimes nonsensical, rambling, hypocritical and sometimes offensive comments, and get back to the frakking topic at hand, which is: What would you do if your kid announced he/she were gay?

I'm not flaming you, and I don't particulary care about you either. What I do care about is the established rules and regulations of this website, and users who don't feel like the rules apply to them. If you make a concious effort to break the rules, you should expect to be called out on it. We all have to abide by them, and you are no different from all the rest of us, no matter what you choose to believe.

And, you failed to address the other part of my post where I qouted you, which was pertaining to the original discussion. I asked you specifically where the exchange of goods and services were in your post. You must have been so quick to post your self-righteous vitriol that you missed it but feel free to, you know, stick to the topic at hand next time, instead of a self-indulging rant about how awesome you think you are.

 

[Otterwuff]

Nothing. I'm gay myself - if I had a kid, I'd be a damned hypocrite to berate him for being homosexual.

Congratulations for having the confidence to say that on the internet.

OT: I don't really care, I'm not going to go crazy about not having any grand-kids. I don't think that my blood line needs continuing.

Why thank you, I can't admit to it being so much a feat of courage as actually stating a fact, though.

Nothing. I'm gay myself - if I had a kid, I'd be a damned hypocrite to berate him for being homosexual.

Damn shame you're not down here. One of my workmates is looking for a new boyfriend. That said, being the arsehole I am, trying to set the two of ya up on a date probably wouldn't go down so well.

I'll take it as a compliment that you'd set me up with somebody, in the very least. I'm getting lonelier by the day - besides, I'm not entirely free of arsehole-ish qualities myself. Who knows, it could be a match made in ... I dunno.

Nothing. I'm gay myself - if I had a kid, I'd be a damned hypocrite to berate him for being homosexual.

I sense difficulties in you pro creating.

Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Ahaha, no worries, a sense of humour is important. But in all fairness, if I could become pregnant by choice, I would. Until then, I reckon I'll be childless. Luckily, I can adopt, so I mightn't never become a father.

 

[JohnJacobJingle]

Make a point of saying their sexuality matters not at all to me, and that I'm absolutely fine with it. But, advise them that not everybody is as rational and sensible about the issue of homosexuality as I am, and that at some point in their life they're going to have to deal with some bigoted pricks who'll hate them for it. Crucially, the final thing is advice on dealing with these people.

Damn right!!!

 

[Rolling Thunder]

I really, really do not like you. At all. Entirely. Either you're a child, and thus, really shouldn't be posting here, or you are simply an entirely, wholly contemptible person. What kind of wretch are you, to put something as tawdry and malleable as beliefs or ideals, over a person you love, care for, raised.....Seriously. Explain it to me. Explain what the fuck is so important in your beliefs that it overrules something as important as love.

I can understand being uncomfortable with homosexuals. I can understand thinking 'well, maybe some of them are going a bit to far'. I can understand considering it unnatural. I can not, I honestly cannot physically comprehend, though, abandoning a child, a child you loved, cherished and raised, in essence, destroying them...for what!? For what purpose, for what reason!? Damn you sir, explain this....utter, abject...insanity! This viciousness, this unnatural, monstrous coldness in your nature, it repells me so!

You understand alot apparently... except the concept of a person having personal moral beliefs and personal OPINION.

Additionally, don't you find it slightly ironic and/or hypocritical to revile and despise ME for my opinion knowing nothing about me beyond a statement? Seriously, you 'hate me' for calmly going my own way and believing what I believe?

Sadly, in the end you aren't any better than me. I'm just brave enough to stick to my guns where my beliefs are concerned, which is the hardest thing a person can do.
Mind you, I never said I would no longer "Love" my child, just that I would no longer be a part of their LIFE since their lifestyle choice is at odds with my own views. What should I have done? PRETEND to tolerate it? Smile and live a lie and say "hey it's ok you're gay! I support that!" and then turn around and revile their activities behind their back? I didn't tell them to stop being gay or try to control their life or change who they are. I simply accepted it and removed myself from the situation which some could argue is the more appropriate thing to do.

THe alternative would be for me to condemn them openly and have my child spend the rest of their life trying to either tip-toe around me, ashamed of themselves, or living with the endless condemnation of their parent.

At least my way, they can be free.

Yeah. And telling your son or daughter you no longer want to be a part of their life, yes, that's humane. Damnit man, it's not even human!

I don't know how important family is to you, so this may just be my fucked-up, old fashioned morality, but I can barely stand the idea that my father might not like my current girlfriend, let alone the conception that he'd despise me for being what I am. "Sorry kid, I can't be part of your life any more, you're very nature does not permit it".

You know what you should do. Grow a pair, and talk with your kid. Sit down, and talk with them. Try and understand their feelings. Empathise. Ask questions. Behave like a parent, not like some fuckwit preacher out of Dixie.

Spoiler: well, at least you bloody well better do it with style

Let it be so; thy truth, then, be thy dower:
For, by the sacred radiance of the sun,
The mysteries of Hecate, and the night;
By all the operation of the orbs
From whom we do exist, and cease to be;
Here I disclaim all my paternal care,
Propinquity and property of blood,
And as a stranger to my heart and me
Hold thee, from this, for ever. The barbarous Scythian,
Or he that makes his generation messes
To gorge his appetite, shall to my bosom
Be as well neighbour'd, pitied, and relieved,
As thou my sometime child.

 

[HyenaThePirate]

You know what you should do. Grow a pair, and talk with your kid. Sit down, and talk with them. Try and understand their feelings. Empathise. Ask questions. Behave like a parent, not like some fuckwit preacher out of Dixie.

Why? You don't think it takes BALLS to stand up for your MORAL and PERSONAL BELIEFS, even in the face of FAMILY? The hardest thing in the world is to stand up to FAMILY. If your Son decided to go on a killing spree and enjoyed killing things and you had the opportunity, would you kill him to stop him or just let him keep taking lives?
If he was convicted of raping and murdering a 12 year old child, would you still stand there and say "well family is family! don't send him to the electric chair!"

There are limits and there are lines and it takes monumental strength for people to not succumb to emotion and make all manner of allowances for things because they felt too much with their HEARTS and didnt use their HEADS enough.

Why would I want to put my son through a lifetime of my personal and open disdain for his lifestyle choice? Would it not be more merciful to walk away than to spend the rest of his life making an enemy of him by constantly disagreeing and expressing my disgust and revulsion at his actions? When he wants to bring his partner by and I refuse to participate in whatever "family function" we are engaged in because I do not want to meet or even talk to some dude who is having sex with my son? That we have nothing in common because while I find women attractive, he thinks the Penises in the porno are more exciting than the pair of tits?

No thanks, I'd rather be the Dad who wasnt there than the dad who built up a lifetime of bitter resentment for never accepting his son openly and constantly tore them down for their life choices. That and I don't feel like going through the "i'm going to prove you wrong" rebelliousness I'd have to endure where every action would be to either get 'back at me' or to 'show me'.

Let the kid live his life the way he wants. He can still be happy. I will always love him and in some way I'm sure in his hours of need I would quietly provide aid or help (financially speaking of course). But other than that, I would have as little contact with my gay child as possible. We would not talk about life, love, or anything in between.

 

[Rascarin]

Why? You don't think it takes BALLS to stand up for your MORAL and PERSONAL BELIEFS, even in the face of FAMILY? The hardest thing in the world is to stand up to FAMILY. If your Son decided to go on a killing spree and enjoyed killing things and you had the opportunity, would you kill him to stop him or just let him keep taking lives?
If he was convicted of raping and murdering a 12 year old child, would you still stand there and say "well family is family! don't send him to the electric chair!"

There are limits and there are lines and it takes monumental strength for people to not succumb to emotion and make all manner of allowances for things because they felt too much with their HEARTS and didnt use their HEADS enough.

Am I the only one who read this and thought it was likening homosexuality to mass-murder?

 

[HyenaThePirate]

Why? You don't think it takes BALLS to stand up for your MORAL and PERSONAL BELIEFS, even in the face of FAMILY? The hardest thing in the world is to stand up to FAMILY. If your Son decided to go on a killing spree and enjoyed killing things and you had the opportunity, would you kill him to stop him or just let him keep taking lives?
If he was convicted of raping and murdering a 12 year old child, would you still stand there and say "well family is family! don't send him to the electric chair!"

There are limits and there are lines and it takes monumental strength for people to not succumb to emotion and make all manner of allowances for things because they felt too much with their HEARTS and didnt use their HEADS enough.

Am I the only one who read this and thought it was likening homosexuality to mass-murder?

More than likely, yes.
Unless I'm wrong and the majority of people take huge flying illogical leaps.
What I was making the case for was that just because someone is "family" means you must approve or accept everything that they do.
Wrong is wrong. There is no partial wrong, no kinda wrong, and no sorta wrong.

If you'd like to make it out that homosexuality and mass-murder are comparable, in my belief system you are partially correct.
Why? Because I believe they are both "wrong".
The comparison ends there.

 

[zenoaugustus]

I'm only 17, so hopefully I don't have a kid for a couple more years, but when I do, if I'm of a similar mindset / philosophy of life that I am now, I'll support my child regardless of who they are (as long as it's moral, no killing people or any bullshit like that). Homosexuality is nothing to be ashamed of or to be looked down upon, and I'd tell my child exactly that.